sortinghat_logs | Catching up

Dirk arrives to the meeting with Bro fresh out of a conversation with Dave- a conversation that's left him thinking about his father. Had it not been for Dave's description of the situation, he might have gotten angry with Bro all over again. Instead, he was thinking of the incident on the astronomy tower as an accident, and that doesn't drag up the hurt of being lied to.

So, when he joins Bro for the trip to the Three Broomsticks, he's thoughtful, but not angry. It doesn't look very different on him- he's got a Strider pokerface, after all, and his time away has only made it more impenetrable- but just like Dirk knows Dave well enough to figure out his mood, Bro probably can do the same for him.

"It was nice," he says when Bro asks, "being responsible for my own shit. I didn't realize how much you handled or the school handled until I was doing them for myself."

Bro gives a nod to that. Boy, he knows all too well about how it can be tough to suddenly be out on your own. It's not something he's ever really talked about to either Dave or Dirk, but now that it's on his mind, he's starting to think it's a good opportunity to bring it up. "Yeah, you really underestimate just how easy you've got it until suddenly you're out on your own," he says, "I was two years older than you when I had to make it on my own. Fresh outta graduation and I was told to hit the road."

There's a hint of bitterness in his voice, but he shrugs after a second. "It's a real learning experience, though. Not something I'd ever want you to deal with, but considering you made that choice on your own... I'm glad it worked out well for you."

"It probably worked well because I had a backup if everything went wrong," Dirk says, in a moment of honesty. And it's true. If things hadn't worked out, he still could have gone back to school, back to Bro, and his pride would have been hurt but he would still have had their support. "Though that didn't really matter, in the end, because I took care of everything. And I know I can do it again." In some ways, he looks forward to getting a chance to do it again, living and studying by himself. Maybe not during the school year again, but during the summer, or after he graduates.

Dirk adjusts his shades, then inclines his head toward Bro. "So, what about you?"

That was true. No matter what happened, Dirk would've had a safety net to fall back on, whereas he hadn't when he was kicked out. He'd never have let Dirk actually flounder around on his own, regardless of the circumstances or his feelings. That's one thing he'd vowed to himself; he would never, ever be like his parents and disown a kid and kick them out. No matter fucking what. So as much as it would've hurt Dirk's pride, he would've bailed him out of anything. He gives him a small smile. "I'm proud of you, man."

But damn that's a loaded question. He isn't even sure where to begin. "Ahaha... I can say it's been a crazy year," he says after a few moments of thinking. "I'm not even sure where to begin, I'll be honest." But thankfully he doesn't have too long to think about it, because the waitress comes to take their order. "Two fire whiskies," he says in response when she asks what they'll have for a drink. "And I'll have fish and chips, gonna be stereotypically British tonight. And Dirk, order whatever. I don't care. S'on me."

Dirk very carefully doesn't fidget or blush at that. He just shrugs and nods, doing his best to keep it as casual as possible. He can't really hide the little grin, though. He hadn't done it because he was seeking approval, but getting it is nice.

He raises one eyebrow when Bro orders the two fire whiskeys, because that just makes it seem like Bro is trying to get drunk, and aren't they supposed to be catching up? Or has the year just been that bad? He doesn't suspect that Bro's not planning on drinking both of them.

"I'll just have chips, I'm not that hungry." He isn't, but that's no reason to turn down an offer of food, in his opinion. It'll give him something to do with his hands if the conversation gets awkward again. Like it's probably about to. "Dave already told me some things. About you and him."

Dirk may not have been doing it to seek approval, but that doesn't stop Bro from being proud anyway. He accomplished quite a feat for a fifteen year old, after all. That grin makes his own smile widen a little more.

He raises an eyebrow himself when Dirk only orders chips, but he doesn't question it. If Dirk isn't hungry, he isn't going to force him to eat or anything. He wasn't, however, expecting those next words to come out of Dirk's mouth, and immediately his stomach clenches. Fuck. He supposes it makes it easier on him, but that doesn't really make it any easier. He'd intended on telling Dirk, he just... it's hard.

Bro is quiet for a long few moments, staring down at the table. "Sorry," he finally says, his voice quiet. It's a weird thing to say to Dirk, considering it didn't directly affect him, but that doesn't stop him from saying it. He's apologizing that it happened at all, that he was that much of a fuck up to allow to to happen. Basically he's just... sorry for everything.

It's weird hearing Bro like that. Weird, and wrong, defeated and guilty, and Dirk honestly isn't sure how to respond. When he first left, he would have been glad to hear this. He still would have been angry, but he would have felt vindicated to hear this kind of guilt. Now, brings up a complicated tangle of emotions in him, as well.

"He told me it was an accident. He doesn't blame you." Dirk is staring down at the table himself, but he looks up, scrutinizing Bro from behind his shades. "That's why you didn't want to fight me, isn't it."

Of course he doesn't blame Bro for it. As glad as he is for that, it also makes him feel guilty. Because Dave should blame him. It was entirely his fault and he shouldn't have been so fucking stupid. Not just then, but... it was a real eye opener for their entire upbringing.

"Yeah, it is," he says, and when he can feel Dirk looking at him, he forces his gaze up to look at him from behind his own shades. "I don't ever want anything like that to happen again." He shakes his head. "I was fuckin' stupid, I never should've... It never should've happened." The more he talks, the more apparent the guild is in his voice. The regret. The pain. "The last thing I'm tryin' to do is turn this into a pity party, I guess I just wanted you to know I'm sorry. For... everything. All of it."

It should be clear now that he's talking beyond just this, but now that he's gotten started, he can't really quit. "For not telling you," he adds after a moment. "For making you feel like you had to leave in the first place. I'm sorry."

Dirk can't stop staring. This is hardly like Bro as he knows him. It's almost unnatural to hear him so quiet. Some part of him wants to protest, to needle Bro into being his usual self. The words die in his head, and his throat feels too tight for him to be able to get them out. Even with the shades on, eye contact feels like too much, so he stares down at the table instead.

"Kind of late for that, isn't it?" he chokes out, before he can stop the words from coming out. He can't help but feel bitter. Bro wasn't a father, sure, but he was the one who raised Dirk and Dave. He was the one Dirk looked up to all his life, the one who he had wanted to be like, ever since he was little. For so long, he'd been certain Bro could do no wrong, so finding out he'd been lied to his whole life was a blow to everything constant in his life. He'd come to terms with it in his time away, but he's beginning to realize that he'll always feel bitter about it.

He pushes up his shades and rubs a hand over his eyes. He doesn't look at Bro. If he does, he thinks he won't be able to keep talking. "Jesus, I don't even know what to call you any more. What the hell am I supposed to do?"

Those words hit him, and they hit him really fucking hard. Despite how much they hurt though, he knows they're true. It is too late. but he'd stupidly hoped maybe it would be one of those better late than never things. It was stupid of him to have gotten his hopes up for that, though. For thinking this could be easy, when clearly it isn't something he can easily be forgiven for. And he doesn't blame Dirk for being angry at him over it. He doesn't blame him at all. It was a really big, stupid, shitty lie and one he never should've told.

But he'd had a reason. A reason that doesn't feel adequate enough anymore and one he knows couldn't ever justify lying to the two of them for all of their lives. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, though. He wasn't a good parent. He'd thought it would be better for them, if they knew him as a brother and not a father, because he'd never make a good father in his opinion. At least then he wouldn't let them down. At least then they wouldn't know the shame of having a shitty-ass dad who only made mistakes and didn't do a goddamn thing right. He'd always be a better brother and he knew that.

How was he supposed to explain this, though? With Dirk angry at him, the justification felt like an excuse. Or maybe it had been an excuse all along. That realization hits him pretty hard, too. He'd never thought of it as an excuse- it'd always seemed pretty fucking valid to him. But with all of his mistakes in the forefront of his brain lately, and this sudden realization... He's starting to see that yeah, it was an excuse. That if he were any kind of decent human being at all, then he would've lived with his mistakes and owned up to them instead of just covering them up with a lie and flimsy justifications. But that would imply that he's a decent human being.

The drinks and food come before he can say anything, and wordlessly he nudges one of the fire whiskey's towards Dirk. His fish and chips sit neglected, because he no longer has the stomach for them. He stares down at them, because now he's the one who can't look at Dirk. He doesn't know what to say, or do. Bro desperately wants nothing more than to be able to fix this, but nothing he can think to say feels like it would be enough. Dirk said it himself, it's too late for an apology and he doesn't know what else would ever come close to fixing it.

"It is too late," he finally manages to say. "I know that. I shouldn't expect you to forgive me." He lifts the fire whiskey up to his mouth and takes a small sip of it. He doesn't want to get tipsy off it, but the warmth it spreads throughout him is comforting and allows him to continue. "I... know how it's gotta make you feel. It makes you feel like you weren't good enough. Like you were only good enough to be a brother and not my son." He shakes his head at that, because it's so completely untrue that the thought physically hurts. "I never meant to make you feel that way. I swear on my fucking life that I didn't. It's the other way around, I... I didn't think I was good enough for you to love me like a dad."

As he readies himself to speak again, he finally looks up at Dirk. And then he does something that he doesn't do often. He reaches up and slides off his shades so that he can look at him without the filter. So that Dirk can see all of the sincerity and regret in his eyes. So that he can see him. "I've always loved you like a son, Dirk. Always. I just... I didn't wanna let you down. Either of you. But it turns out that I did and I'm really fucking sorry for that." He's trying to keep his voice steady, and for the most part he's succeeding, though there's a faint quiver to it. "I'm not gonna make you call me anything. And I don't know what to tell you to do, because I don't know. I screwed up. I screwed up really fucking bad and I don't know how to fix it. If anything, I just want you to know that I really am fucking sorry, even if it's too late for it to be of any good."

With that said, he looks away again. Having gotten all of that out, he just wants to shrink away and go die now. He doesn't put the shades back on for now, though, but they do stay clenched in his hand in case he needs them. He feels awkward and vulnerable without them, but if he can't allow himself to be vulnerable in front of his own kid, then what good is he? Dirk deserves to see him for what and who he is for once in his life.

Dirk is clinging to the shreds of his calm, struggling and failing to keep his poker face in place. He presses harder at his eyes and takes a deep breath through his nose, because otherwise he knows he's going to do something he'll regret. Something like start crying. The quiver in Bro's voice isn't helping him keep his cool, and neither is removing the shades. With Dirk's own shades not properly settled, it feels like he's completely exposed, and he can't look into Bro's eyes. He ignores the food and the fire whiskey both, how is he supposed to focus on food in the middle of a conversation like this?

The irony of it is, Dirk had never felt let down by Bro until learning of this lie. It hadn't mattered that he and Dave weren't raised by a mom and dad, because Bro had always taken care of him, even if he'd been tough. Everything Bro says hurts even more, because it's true, it is how he feels. And if Bro understands that, then why did he ever lie? If he feels so guilty and sorry for it, why did he make the decision in the first place?

He can't stop his hands from curling into fists, so tight that his nails dig crescents into his palms. He's had months to think this over, and yet somehow he can't talk about it without the emotions spilling over again, and this time, he can't just go on a trip to avoid the conversation.

"How the hell am I supposed to believe you any more?" he demands, voice cracking. "How am I ever supposed to know if you're telling me the truth any more?"

Edited 2013-01-26 23:28 (UTC)

Dirk's reactions made it hard to keep himself under control- the control that was already pretty fucking flimsy at best. Seeing Dirk like that, hearing his voice crack and hearing those words. He could feel himself slowly starting to break down and he was fighting to remain in control of himself. He was scared to break down like that in front of Dirk, in the middle of a restaurant. But it was getting harder and harder not to, because Bro was starting to feel the entire weight of the situation hitting him all at once.

"I don't know," he admits, his voice quivering a little more as he looks away from Dirk. He has to bring his own hand up to rub at his eyes, trying to fight back the tears that want to come. "I don't know how to make you trust me again." He doesn't know how to ever really fix this, even if he wants nothing more than to put things right. The fact that he can't say the right words to fix this is just fucking killing him, and the more he talks and the longer this goes on, the harder it is to keep himself under control.

"I swear though," he says, "There won't be anymore lies. I s-swear on my life." He didn't know if making that kind of promise would come back to bite him in the ass, but he doesn't care right now. He just wants Dirk to know how much he regrets lying, and that he really won't ever lie about anything like that. He doesn't want Dirk to doubt his sincerity, because everything he's saying is nothing but the truth.

"If you ever do," Dirk says, voice thick with emotion and threatening tears, "if you ever do that again I will leave and I will never come back, you will never see me again in your life."

As soon as he says it, he can't hold off the tears any more, because it hurts to say, it hurts to even think about. He doesn't want to leave, not in the way he's threatening to. Dave would never forgive him for it. But he doesn't think he can stand a betrayal like that again. He can only barely trust Bro at his word now, he would never be able to do it if he found out that he was lied to a second time.

He pushes his shades up, and rubs away the tears, taking one shuddering breath after another. He isn't even trying to prevent them any more, for all that they're in public. He just keeps himself quiet, breath hitching every few seconds. He rubs the tears away again, this time using his sleeve, and stares at the red marks his nails have left in his palms.

"So. I'll.. I'll hold you to that promise." His voice is quiet. He can't say he trusts Bro, because it's not true and even if he wanted to lie- he's not sure he'll ever want to lie to someone again- no one would believe him.

When Dirk says that, an icy cold sense of dread pools in his stomach and creeps through his entire body. The idea of that is terrifying and it makes him want to throw up. If nothing else had, then those words definitely are enough to solidify the fact that his mistake was one of the worst in his life. It's also enough to completely shatter his hold on his control and the tears finally spill over shortly after Dirk starts crying.

He's shaking, he feels cold and he feels like throwing up and he doesn't know what to say. But he knows one thing, and it's that he can never, ever lie to Dirk again. Dirk or Dave. Because the thought of Dirk not being in his life is absolutely soul crushing. The idea of that being a thing makes it easy to never want to lie again.

When Dirk speaks again, the words only make him feel very slightly better. He's still terrified of losing Dirk, and he still wants to fix this somehow. But Bro doesn't know what to say that could help this. For a languages professor, he's such a horrendous failure with words sometimes that it would almost be laughable if they didn't fail him at such horrendous times. So his body works for him. Instead of speaking, he just stands up and moves around the table.

He leans down and wraps his arms around Dirk and he squeezes him in a way that's almost like he's trying to make sure that Dirk really is there, that he hasn't disappeared. Bro is shaking noticeably, but he's trying his best not to start sobbing like he wants to. That doesn't mean tears aren't streaming down his face, and he's pretty much clinging to Dirk as if he really might disappear soon. "A life without you ain't a life worth living," he manages to get out, his voice thin and shaky as he tries not to let it end in a sob.

Dirk stares when Bro stands up and moves around the table. For some reason, he didn't realize what Bro was doing until he was actually being hugged. It's the reason he hesitates for a moment before returning the hug, but within a second he's gripping Bro just as hard as he's being held himself. He's honestly not sure which of them is shaking, or if it's the both of them, but the only way he can think of to make it stop is to tighten his grip again. It feels like the air is being squeezed out of him, but he can't bring himself to care.

He manages a weak laugh. "You sound like you're talking out of a romance novel." It doesn't stop him from squeezing Bro tight, though. And it's not going to stop Bro's shirt from getting damp when Dirk presses his face against it, either. He's not sure if he could describe how he feels. Relieved, maybe, that Bro's ready to make that kind of effort. Mostly, though, he feels wrung empty, of tears, of emotions. He's emotionally exhausted, even if he's not ready to go to sleep. He wants to go back to normal. He wants there to still be a normal, as though the two of them haven't managed to flip their world completely upside down.

It's a while before Dirk's grip loosens. When it does, he rubs at his face a final time. He looks like he's been crying, and now that he's aware of it, he wants to brush past it, or get his shades to hide the redness of his eyes.

Despite everything, when Dirk says that he can't help but smile, even if he still hurts mentally- and physically, in a way. Because he feels tired and way older than he actually is. He can't deny that what he said was straight out of a romance novel, though. He doesn't say anything for the moment, instead he just keeps holding Dirk. It doesn't matter that his shirt is getting wet, or that they're both having a really stupid moment in front of a pub full of strangers. What matters is the fact they are having this moment. Hopefully after it's over, things will be better between them. He can only hope.

When Dirk loosens his grip, Bro pulls away and takes in a deep breath, reaching up to wipe at his eyes. He feels better after that- better than he ever could've expected. Clearly hugs are a thing they need to do more often, though maybe without the crying involved. Finally, in response to Dirk's previous statement, he responds with, "I wish I knew how to quit you."

Brokeback mountain quotes are always the best end to a feelings jam.

That startles another weak laugh out of Dirk, and he punches Bro lightly on the side. "Fuck you platonically, Jack fucking Twist." His emotions are still raw, but he feels scoured clean, feels lighter, somehow. Sure, there's the chance that Bro will lie to him again in the future, but for now, he's got that promise to hold onto. He can't have his brother back, but he has Bro, and that's okay. He can live with that.

Now that the hug is over, he turns back to the table and starts onto his chips. Apparently crying can work up an appetite, who knew? Maybe his body's just trying to replace all the saline from his tears. Yeah, that must be it. Not like he was nervous before he started eating, or anything like that.

After tearing his way through a few of the chips, he finally considers the other thing that Bro ordered for them. "What's with the fire whiskey, anyway?" he asks.

He smiles at Dirk's reaction and gives his shoulder a nudge. "Find a tent then." With that, he moves around the table so that he can sit back down. He feels a bit better, too. His own emotions are still in high gear, but in a way the conversation has been cathartic, and very much needed. He feels more optimistic now, like maybe things can actually change for the better.

His own food still goes untouched though, because he's really not in the mood to eat. Instead, he just takes a swig off his fire whiskey and lets the warmth of it wash over him, comforted by the faint burn in his throat. At Dirk's question, he raises an eyebrow slightly. "I figure it's time to cut out the kiddy stuff," he says. "You struck out on your own. You're a man now, so you can drink like one." He takes another swig. "I mean, unless you wanted a butter beer?"

"If I wanted butterbeer, I'dve asked for it." Dirk says, shaking his head. Most of his attention is on the fire whiskey, though. He hasn't quite reached for it, though. It's one of those things that he'd always assumed he'd be able to try when he was an actual adult, or at least sixteen. To be handed one off so easily by Bro right now is a bit surprising. "You sure?" he says, because he can't help asking.

Really, for all his confidence in his own abilities, he's not so sure that he's a man yet. He knows he's not done growing, or growing up, he's looked it up back home.

"Sure I'm sure," Bro replies with a shrug, reaching out to nudge the fire whiskey closer to Dirk. He may not be finished growing up for real just yet, but mentally? In Bro's opinion he's a man. He accomplished what most other people would have failed at. He's a man to Bro, and he deserves to drink like one. "If you don't drink it, I will and you don't want me drunk. It's not pretty. I'd probably hug you again, and it'd be embarrassing."

"Embarrassing for who?" Dirk asks, but nevertheless, he reaches for the fire whiskey. "I wouldn't be the drunk one. I could pass it off as irony."

He doesn't even try to take a gulp of it at first. Instead, he sips carefully, because it wouldn't be called fire whiskey without a reason, with wizards. Even so, the burn was stronger than he expected, and he has to be careful not to make a face in reaction as he takes another sip.

"So, how've things been here? Dave didn't tell me all that much," he says.

"Touche."

He watches Dirk as he takes his first sip of fire whiskey, feeling a weird burst of pride in his chest. This is a moment for the baby books if there ever was one. Too bad he doesn't have a camera. But that's a loaded question, and honestly he doesn't... know where to start. Shit.

"Man, a lot's happened... You missed Christmas. Which was ironically the most uneventful part of the year, hones- Oh!" Shit, that reminds him, he actually brought Dirk's Christmas present with him to give to him. They just kinda got sidetracked with emotions there for a bit and it slipped his mind. He reaches into his pocket and takes it out, sliding it across the table.

In front of Dirk is a miniature Rainbow Dash figurine.

"Merry Christmas. Pet it's mane."

When Dirk does, he'll be in for a surprise. It'll come to life. It can even fly!

Dirk doesn't mind the lack of camera. He's fifteen, there's no such thing as a baby book for a fifteen year old. Bro can just take pictures of him the first time he actually gets drunk, because then Dirk won't actually be able to stop him.

"What?" Dirk says, as Bro interrupts himself, but his answer is presented quickly enough. He stares at the little figurine, hiding a grin. He can't help it, he unironically loves this pony a lot. He loves this pony to the point where coming home from school means several days of marathoning Friendship is Magic before he does anything else. Then he strokes the firure's mane, and watches in awe as it rears. "Holy shit, Bro. This is amazing."

He spends a few moments using his hands to create obstacles for Rainbow Dash to dodge around and over, admiring the way the figure moves and flies. But finally he glances up at Bro again. "So if Christmas was the only break, what else happened?"

There sure as shit is a baby book for fifteen year old. Do not doubt his ability to do stupid shit like make one, because if you doubt him then you will absolutely be proven wrong. And then he would probably make copies of it and pass it around the school. For absolutely no reason.

He watches as Dirk admires the pony, barely able to contain the smile that wants to spread across his face. Bro knew that Dirk would like it, and he's glad that he got it for him. He doesn't say anything, just watches the figure move with Dirk, letting out a small chuckle as it dodges around Dirk's hand. When Dirk finally looks back at him, he thinks for a moment and just shrugs.

"Well... y'know. The same as usual, I guess? The castle causing shit to happen. There was this thing where these shadows appeared, I got a boyfriend, there was a time when wishes were granted, farting dragons..." He rambles, hoping that the bomb he just dropped goes unnoticed. Honestly was a little... nervous, about telling Dirk about Murdoc. If only because he's never actually really dated anyone. It's not easy telling anyone about this, let alone your kid. "So yeah. The usual."

Bro should know better, at this point. After leaving for months, with barely no communication between the family, Dirk is going to be extremely attentive when he does finally return, and he's not going to let Bro get away with vague details. What kind of parent/former sibling would leave out details like that?

Still, the sheer casualness with which Bro says it means that it takes a moment to set in, but it's pretty obvious that he caught it, considering the look he gives Bro, one eyebrow raised, when he finally starts talking. "The usual, huh? I don't remember granting wishes as being quite normal."

Then, of course, before Bro can get away from the right topic, "Don't remember getting a boyfriend to be part of the usual, either."

Bro freezes. Shit, of course he couldn't get away from it. He knew Dirk was too attentive to miss out on what he said. He's trying not to be too nervous about it, but goddamn he can't really help it. Again, this is not an area he's ever... experienced before. He doesn't know how to talk about it, and if he's honest, he's afraid of how Dirk is going to react. Sure Dave already knows, and that went well enough, but... considering their shaky relationship right now, he's honestly afraid it might cause problems somehow.

He may be being paranoid, but he can't actually help it. Bro shifts around in his seat, absentmindedly shoving a chip in his mouth. "Well... Yeah, I guess that part really isn't the usual..." he murmurs. "Either of those things- but mostly the boyfriend thing, honestly. That... part is definitely the thing that doesn't happen often."

Wow he feels so awkward right now.

Dirk pauses in his line of questioning to take a bite out of another of his chips, then to take a third sip of his fire whiskey (it still burns, but he must be getting used to it, he doesn't want to make a face this time).

Now that he's watching, he's not likely to miss the way Bro shifts in his seat. And what he says, well, that's a beacon if ever Dirk saw one. He's used to Bro being so stoic, and today is completely flipping that on its head.

"So who is it?" He finally asks. "It's gotta be someone special, since this is so rare." It's a genuine question, not intended to mock- if Bro really wanted this dating thing to happen, he'd do it whether or not Dirk agreed with him, but it sounds like Bro wishes he would approve, so he is withholding his reaction. He can't help being a bit surprised by it. In all the time he's lived with Bro, he can't really remember any kind of serious relationship happening.

Sometimes he wishes Dirk weren't so perceptive, so that he could get away with being evasive at times like this. Then again, he also realizes he's being pretty shitty at being evasive. Maybe he's rust, or maybe he's just feeling that awkward about it right now. Who the hell even knows, really? But the truth is... Yeah, he does want Dirk to approve. He wouldn't really feel right about pursuing the relationship without Dirk's approval- even if he's had time to all but fall in love with Murdoc. He isn't sure if he would be able to pull away, but if he doesn't have Dirk's approval, then he would be pretty damn upset.

"He's... pretty special, yeah." Bro murmurs in response to that, a light smile playing on his lips as he thinks about Murdoc. It's hard not to smile when he thinks about him. "His name's Murdoc Donoghue, the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor."

This time, the surprise actually shows on Dirk's face, because of all the answers he was expecting, it certainly wasn't this one. "Professor Donoghue?" He's had classes with him before, surely Bro didn't miss their conversation about Dirk getting caught up in classes over the journals. Or maybe he was focused on this meeting, which isn't too surprising, considering how it started out.

Still, he can see the smile, and it probably means that if Bro weren't a Strider he would be beaming with the dumbest grin right now. It's hard to disapprove of someone when Bro talks about them like that. "How long has it been going on?"

How long had it been going on? Shit, that wasn't an easy question to answer, when you really got down to it. They'd known each other a while, but... Well, he could definitely tell Dirk when the feelings started, at least. It was a month or two after that though, that things got more... intense. And everything in between was a huge clusterfuck. But he'd promised not to lie to Dirk, and and withholding information felt a bit too much like lying for him to really feel comfortable doing it. He supposed... he could give Dirk the choice.

"I guess that depends," he finally says after a few moments of silence, mulling it all over. "You want the long story, or the short one? Because it's... uh, kinda straight out of some dramatic love story or some shit, if I'm perfectly honest."

"The long version," Dirk says immediately. He doesn't even have to think about it. Even if he and Bro hadn't just argued the way they had, he'd still want the long version. There's never a time when Dirk doesn't want the most details that can be provided. Which isn't to say he'll be asking any awkward prying questions. There are things he doesn't actually want to know about Murdoc and Bro's relationship. But the things he didn't get to see first-hand because he wasn't here, those details he wants.

In the meantime, he eats a few more chips, as he waits for Bro to work up the nerve to tell his cheezy romance novel story.

Bro had the feeling that Dirk would ask for the long version, but even so he still felt the weight of it hit him as he thought of how best to begin. To be honest he was a little afraid of telling the story, considering he didn't come off as the best person in the world. He could only hope that Dirk wouldn't judge him horribly for it. "Alright, well... I guess it started around September. He and I never really got off on the right foot- actually, we downright hated each other." He can't help but laugh at that, because god it's just so ridiculous in hindsight. They'd been so similar and that was their initial biggest downfall.

"I decided I really needed to change that, though. So I... lied. About not being able to swim, to try and get closer to him, because he was offering swimming lessons. Well, I had to take off my shades when the time came for it, and..." He smiles at the memory, an actual legit, genuine smile as he looks away from Dirk. He feels like a goddamn giggly teenager right now, and frankly it's kind of embarrassing. He wipes at his mouth, trying to get the damn smile to go away. "He ended up telling me my eyes were the most gorgeous ones he'd ever seen. It was kind of a big deal for me... considering nobody's ever said anything like that before. S'kinda one of those things people think are freakish, usually."

He isn't sure if Dirk's ever really gotten shit over his eyes, but for Bro those are one of his biggest insecurities, and the reason that Murdoc had been able to get through to him, by complimenting them. It made him feel accepted and... human. Instead of just some freak. "It just made me feel really fuckin' good, y'know? And that was when I realized there was more to him than just a huge douchebag." He stops, so that he can nudge around a chip or two, because now he's getting to the awkward part of the story. "The only problem was... uh. Well there was this guy who became the High Inquisitor. He was a huge dickhead and ended up threatening this woman with deportation... Well, Murdoc was in love with her. So he proposed marriage to save her from getting deported. So... I was chasing after an engaged man."

Yeah, that's the part that he feels awkward about. Don't judge him too hard, Murdoc. "It kinda became a competition, even if she didn't feel that way about him. He was kinda just pining after her. But it didn't matter, because I won. The High Inquisitor left and then she up and decided to leave too, so just like that the engagement was off. He and I were free to be with each other, and... I guess that's that. We've had our ups and downs- and goddamn was the down really fucking bad." He actually looks sad at the memory, and decides to give Dirk a small debriefing over it. "We had a fight a little after New Years. He considered himself better than me because he's a pureblood. It was really nasty, and I splinched myself apparating away. But we worked it out..."

And then he takes a drink of his fire whiskey, because he really hates thinking about that. But he's mostly done with the story, pretty sure he's covered everything there actually is to cover. "So yeah. I think that's everything. Any questions?"

Dirk is a teenager. He still has some respect for his Bro, but he's at the age where he's realized that just because Bro is his guardian doesn't mean that Bro is perfect. He doesn't know everything, he can't do everything, and he isn't infallible. This story wouldn't surprise him much even if Bro hadn't proved so strongly that he could make mistakes with hiding his relationship to them.

"Goddamn, this is like the worst romance novel ever," is the first thing out of Dirk's mouth. He doesn't even regret saying it, because it's true. It seems ridiculous that it actually happened.

After a moment, he frowns, and turns more serious. "This makes it sound like you're more invested in this than he is. Even without the pureblood douchebaggery. I dunno if I'd call it one-sided, but... You sure you've thought it through?"

He can't help but laugh at Dirk's first response, and he gives him a nod. Honestly, it's fucking true and he can't deny it. The whole thing has been one wild ride from start to finish, and it's definitely like a shitty romance novel. A shitty romance novel with an undeniably happy ending. Like Twilight, but with a healthier ending and not something stupid. Also considerably less sparkles, unfortunately. Bro wouldn't mind sparkling, but that requires too much effort, and Murdoc would probably not actually approve all that much. Ah well.

Dirk's second response has him pausing though, and... it's true. He's definitely thought of that. The whole time he was fighting with Murdoc, he couldn't help but think that maybe he'd gotten too invested in it. But the way in which Murdoc had apologized afterwards, and said he loved him? There's no denying the sincerity of it, even Bro could tell. Murdoc had proved himself and Bro couldn't doubt his sincerity. Murdoc had shown he was just as invested in it as Bro was.

"I've thought it through," he says after a moment's silence, giving Dirk a nod. "He jumped through a lotta hoops to earn me back." Bro shrugs after a second, "I'm not justifying it either, but he's been raised a pureblood his entire life. Me coming into his life shook up a lot of shit. He's had to get over prejudices he probably didn't even realize were a problem. We're workin' it out. I'm keeping him in check. But..." He offers Dirk a smile. "Your concern's appreciated and I ain't taking this lightly, either. I know how much he fucked up. But I'm giving him a second chance, 'cuz he earned it."

It's that moment of thought that convinces Dirk, more than anything Bro says. It's that moment, because Bro is taking a moment to think about it. He's using his head, not just his heart. The answer isn't 'but I love him' or 'but he loves me,' it's that they're making it work.

"Long as you're sure," Dirk says. "Just needed to make sure you weren't a stereotypical schoolgirl about this shit. Bringing dishonor on the name Strider."

"If I ever bring dishonor on the family name, I give you permission to usurp me and declare yourself head of the Strider family," he says with a lazy smile. "As it is now, all dishonor goes to our cow."
He takes a bite of his food, before following with a hearty chug to his fire whiskey. "So enough about my love life. Why don't you tell me more of what you got up to while you were off on your own. Any children I should be worried about?"

"Our lack of cow," Dirk says. "Doubt we could fit one into the apartment even if we wanted to. We'd do better getting a horse." He idly pets the little Rainbow Dash again. There have to be some miniature horses somewhere in the magical world, he'd bet. It would be really awesome.

He's totally rolling his eyes behind his shades, though. "Yes. There are two illegitimate children you should know about. I wasn't going to tell you because I didn't want you to worry."

"You're just sayin' that because you want a full sized pony," he says. He's onto you, Dirk. He's so onto you right now. You'd magic it's mane to look like Rainbow Dash. You're predictable like that.

And he would fucking love it.

He fakes a look of horror. "Oh fuck. Looks like you're gonna have to get a job to pay that fuckin' child support. You ever considered working with me on my puppet site? It pays good money, y'know. Gotta put food on the table for those little Dirklets out there."

"That's because a pony would be fucking awesome and you know it," he says. He's onto Bro, too. Ponies are just a thing that every Strider should want.

Dirk shrugs. "I wouldn't mind. I don't hate them the way Dave does." Honestly, he thinks they're entertaining. "Not gonna tell me to move out and be there for them too?"

"I'm neither confirming nor denying the awesomeness or lack thereof of a pony." And that's all he has to say on the matter.

And these are reasons why sometimes Dirk is his favorite. If only Dave could love puppets as much as they do. He's just going to give a wistful sigh at that and shakes his head lightly. "I just don't know what's wrong with him." He's mostly kidding. There's nothing wrong with Dave. "No fuck that though, I just got you back. You're staying."

"Damn. And here I was planning on running away to join the circus with her," Dirk says. He's joking. Their apartment and the castle are the two places he feels most at home, even when he does things like leave to travel. The apartment is the one home he's sure he's not going to have to give up, after all.

"The circus?" he snorts. "What would you gig be, the amazing weeaboo? Or the pony tamer? Maybe the world's strongest midget..." He leans back and gives it some more thought, idly nomming an a french fry.

"I'd have to be a midget to get that one." Dirk takes a careful sip of his fire whiskey, and refuses to get irritated about any jabs at his height. He's not short, he just hangs around with a mountain in human form most of the time.

Catching up

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