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Woof

WHO: Bro and Murdoc
TONE: Rainbows
RATING: PG13 because Bro
WHEN: RIGHT NOW
WHERE: Murdoc's prissy pureblood palace
WHAT: Bro is a dumbass
STATUS: Ongoing

[Being alone was hard. He'd thought the few school breaks during the semester were difficult, but Summer? Man, that was the worst. When you were so damn used to having someone and then trying to adjust to not being around them every day, it was really goddamn hard. It tended to make someone do stupid things.

Like buy animals.

He had a reason, though! He was walking down the street and it was just there. And the first thing he'd thought of was Murdoc when he looked into it's face. How, he isn't sure. Because Murdoc is far from adorable like that. He's just adorable in his own way. His own sexy, beautiful way and goddamn he really missed the guy. So when he saw the dog, it was as if he absolutely had to get it. He was aware of how dumb and borderline cliche it was, but that didn't stop him. He could pass that off as irony.

Bro was pretty damn sure Murdoc would love it. How could you not? It was fucking tiny and adorable and could fit in the palm of your hand. What wasn't to love? So after a rather traumatizing apparation to Murdoc's house, he stood outside of the door. The dog was kind of shaky because of it, but he was pretty sure it'd be fine after a moment.

Without hesitation, Bro knocks on the door, before moving to hold the puppy behind his back.]

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[Of course, it's uncommon for a pureblood to answer their own door even when they're home all day. An unimpressed looking house elf opens the door, and it's clear he doesn't really need to be told what to do as he shuffles toward the stairs of the house. Bro will have to shuffle fast to catch up with this elderly speed demon.

Murdoc, on the other hand, is blissfully unaware of Bro's abrupt choice to bring in a new member of the family. Really, Murdoc is blissfully unaware of most things. He heard to vague sound of an apparition, but he's on the other side of the house admiring the view of the ocean from his study window. Sometimes he likes to think he knows when Bro is up to something, but something else has his undivided attention right now. Cake. A huge slice of it. It's been sitting beside him since he started writing this letter to his dear, old mother. Which is to say, the quill has been scribbling away while he's been reading. It continues to scribble even now as he eyes the slice, even as he snaps the book shut to give it closer inspection.

Fuck it, he tells himself. Nobody is here, nobody will see and he'll just jog it off later. With that comforting thought in mind, he reaches for the cake and gently inserts more than half of it in his mouth. God, it's so good. It tastes like sex and being rich. He can't even contain the borderline orgasmic noise as he moves in for more. He doesn't hear the door creak open and the quill continues to ramble on about his successes without so much as faltering.]

[Bro can't help the slight annoyance he feels at the door being answered by the house elf. He should've known, and yet he still finds himself wishing it was Murdoc. But oh well, he'll just have to wait won't he? He follows the elf, rolling his eyes quietly. Damn purebloods and their laziness. He just wants to see Murdoc.

When they're outside of the door, of course he hears that noise and immediately his mind goes places. It sounds like Murdoc's having a little fun- but the question is, alone or with someone else? He's just paranoid enough to think that it's possible Murdoc might have someone else in there. But then the door is opened and he sees Murdoc sitting there alone, and relief washes through him. He can't quite see him from this angle though- is he jerking off?

He smirks a wide smirk and reaches up with his free hand to pull off his shades and reaches down to shove them on the house elf's head. He doesn't need them anymore.]

I could come back later, if you'd prefer.

[Murdoc isn't with someone else, just someTHING else. It's not Bro, but it makes him feel almost as good as Bro does. He misses him, he misses not having to replace him with cake. His face, and his body and his voice, he can practically hear it now-

Wait.

He can hear his voice!

Bloody hell. He can feel the tips of his ears burning already as he swallows, his entire face going red as he moves his hand to cover his mouth almost daintily. He finally plucks up the courage to give Bro a wide eyed stare, only to let out an exasperated noise as he places the shades on the elf's head. The elf who is very quickly padding out the door and soon, out of the house. The quill on the other hand has stopped in it's tracks and tipped onto it's side, leaking ink onto the letter.

It all irritates him, but priorities! He's more interested in Bro than he is in being angry.]

I didn't think you were comin' over today. [He mutters, dabbing at his mouth near obsessively.] Wouldn't hurt to give some warnin', you know.

[Oh it's cake. He sees it now as he moves closer. And man, Murdoc, you're so very gay, it makes it let out a small chuckle- that is, until he hears the door open and sees the tail end of the elf running out.]

Oh... Oops.

[Goddamn it, he's gonna need a new pair of shades, isn't he? Of course he is. That's just his luck. Oh well.]

What, you don't like it when I surprise you? [He sounds almost offended- almost. He's still pretty amused by the whole situation.] If you're embarrassed about getting caught having an affair with the cake, you don't have to be. I'm more than willing to let a few confections into the relationship every now and then.

[Murdoc wishes he could just sink into the chair and disappear right now. All of his enjoyment of the cake has just kind of disappeared because cake is his replacement Bro and now Bro is here and it feels needless! Not to mention he looked silly and really, a little bit weird.

He scrunches his mouth into a frown, clearly not taking being teased well. As usual, but maybe a little more so now.]

That's subjective and you damn well know it. [He chides, because he does like being surprised! He just doesn't want Bro to think he has an unhealthy obsession with cake.] I'm not havin' an affair with the damn cake, I'm goin' to bloody well kick you out if you keep at it. [Nope, not defensive at all, but he's changing the subject.]

Is somethin' the matter? [Or did you just miss him? Tell him you missed him. Smooch him, damn it.]

I dunno, I think you were enjoying it a whole damn lot. Maybe even more than you enjoy me? [He's still just teasing. Come on Murdoc, lighten up a little.]

Nothing's wrong. [Aside from missing you like crazy- not that he's going to outright admit that. He's a bit too prideful of that.] But hey, if you really want me to leave...

[He takes a step forward and finally moves his hand from around his back. Sitting in the palm of his hand is a little poodle puppy. It's so tiny and adorable and it looks mildly put out about the whole thing.]

It's dangerous to be alone, take this.

Cake doesn't back talk. [He sniffs, shutting his mouth and running his tongue over his teeth to make sure there are no embarrassing chocolate stains on them.]

I never said I wanted you to leave, unless you're that adverse to shutting up and being pleasant. [He quirks an eyebrow so Bro knows he's messing around a little, but both eyebrows raise once Bro trails off and moves forward. He narrows his eyes up at Bro before dropping them down to the dog, widening them immediately.]

What on earth? [He hisses through his teeth, moving to stand and step toward Bro curiously.] What are you doin' with a dog? [A tiny, adorable, annoyed looking dog for that matter. He dare not ask if it's for him!]

[He knows Murdoc is kidding. He also knows Murdoc missed him just as much as he missed Murdoc- that much is obvious. The tone of their sniping is pretty telling, and it makes him happy. Goddamn he missed this a lot. He missed Murdoc. It's all he can do not to just toss the puppy over his shoulder and jump him right there. It's a good thing he's resisting though, because that would be animal abuse.

That, and Murdoc's reaction is pretty priceless.]

What, you ain't ever seen a dog before? That's a lie, you have one already. It just so happens now you've got two. [He grins.] Saw 'im and thought of you, so I was just like 'why the hell not'.

[He holds it out a little more, urging Murdoc to take him.]

Ain't he the most goddamn adorable poodle you ever saw?

[Murdoc's mind is presently further from sex than it usually is. Partly because he feels very unsexy for his shameful display and mostly because Bro is trying to give him a puppy and that feels very serious for some unknowable reason.

He just keeps gaping at it like Bro is trying to hand him a huge horse dildo or something equally strange, but when he's offered it he seems more than happy to take it into his hands. He hunches just a little, as if he isn't quite sure how he's meant to hold something so tiny and delicate.]

'Course I've seen a dog. [He rolls his eyes dramatically, but continues to look at the dog as if it's a miracle of nature.] It's. [Fucking precious.] Pleasant enough. Looks as if he's less of a working dog than Bickie. [He pulls the dog in a little closer nonetheless.] Bit more of a bed warmer, like someone else I know.

[He gives Bro a smug look before realising what's most striking about Bro's reasoning.]

Why'd it make you think of me, exactly? [If this is an implication he's getting white fur Bro is in for a world of pain.]

[This is a very serious thing! You can't get more serious than a puppy. Especially not a puppy as fucking cute as this. And damn, when Murdoc takes it he just grins a little wider. How fucking precious are the two of them together? Very. He stares at them, taking in the adorable sight. This was definitely worth it.]

Now you've got two bed warmers, ain't that exciting?

[At Murdoc's question, he just shrugs.] You're both adorable as fuck. That's all. [And he's been having Murdoc withdrawals, so anything reminds him of the man. Well- most things.] So you like him?

[It does sort of imply a bit more heavy commitment than what they already seem to have together. Mostly because it's like their relationship in the form of a living thing, though not quite so serious as a child which is just decades away from consideration. Of course, all of this is just encouraging to Murdoc who eats up gestures of commitment like delicious cake.]

It is until they start fightin' for space. [He gives the dog a quick scritch behind the ear, half smiling at it.]

I'm not adorable. [At least, not puppy adorable. Right? No matter how hard he tries to be smouldering it never seems to give a lasting impression. Despite being disheartened over that, he does nod.]

He's gorgeous. [He reshuffles him so he can hold him in one hand, closer to his chest. He uses his free hand to grab Bro's shirt and drag him in for a kiss.]

[Bro didn't actually think of it like that. He just saw a dog and thought of Murdoc- any commitment is lost on him, though if he knew what Murdoc was thinking, he doesn't really think he would be opposed to it. Hell, he's the one who had been thinking of moving in with Murdoc, after all. He's the list person to be afraid of more commitment right now.]

Mm, well I think I could take him if it leads to a fight for space. [They might have a pancake for a dog, but oh well.]

I'm glad you like him though. [A beat.] And you're pretty fuckin' adorable, man. [He steps closer and leans in to press a quick kiss to Murdoc's lips. God, it feels like it's been years.] You taste like cake...

[Murdoc has a lovely habit of reading way too far into everything, but he still hasn't figured out that Bro wants to move in with him. Here he'd prepared himself to be miserable to the point of expiring every holiday!

He disregards Bro's comments in favour of kissing him back, giving his bottom lip a nip before he can escape. He doesn't regret it, either. Particularly when Bro makes that comment. Without wasting a second, the hand is unlatching from his shirt to give his arm a swat.

Now? He's going to take a step away so he can pointedly coddle the dog without so much as looking at Bro.]

You're awfully quiet, aren't you lad? It's a rather becomin' trait, you know. [He grins ever so slightly.] What am I goin' to call you?

[Oh no, don't kiss him more- it's going to make it even harder not to jump Murdoc if he does that. But he smirks when Murdoc pulls away and gives him a swat, letting out a chuckle. It's so easy to make him act like a diva. Bro licks his lips, enjoying the hint of cake lingering there, before moving over so that he can eat the real deal, picking up the bit of cake Murdoc didn't finish as the man talks to the dog.]

Quiet, huh? Well then I guess he's nothing like you. [He's speaking through the mouthful of cake he has, before swallowing it and looking around for a glass of milk.] What, you brought cake to the room but nothing to drink? Now I have to go get it my own damn self.

Also, I vote Broseph for the name, by the way.

I'm not the one who can barely keep my mouth shut long enough to chew. [He gives him a flat look, though there's a bit of obvious yearning as he takes a bite of his cake. Luckily, there's more in the kitchen-- which Bro will find if he gets down there.

Murdoc steps around him so he can effectively block his path to the kitchen, peering around to see if he can spot a house elf.]

Why don't you just get an elf to fetch you one? [He asks ever so innocently.]

That's an awful name. [Just shaking his head at you, Bro.] He needs something more sophisticated... I suppose he's french, isn't he? How about Napoleon? [Only he's totally not asking Bro, he's asking the dog.]

[Excuse you, but he can chew just fine with his mouth open, so he resents that quite a lot. The temptation, however, to get more cake is pretty strong. He might, if he wasn't so attached to watching Murdoc and the dog be adorable together.]

How many do you have? I'm pretty sure the one from earlier is halfway to Timbuktu by now.

[But wow. He's kind of offended by that insult. Broseph is fucking awesome. Any form of Bro is fucking awesome. You've just got a stick up your ass.]

Nabroleon, huh? I like it.

[He can, but it's not a particularly attractive look to be honest. There are much sexier ways to eat cake and he expected better from Bro. That said, the urge to just let go of his inhibitions and attack the cake as a couple is outweighing his desire to be poised and refined. So, he's just going to gravitate out the door as if he's looking for an elf.]

It's a big house. [He shrugs.] You really ought to buy me another, I've had that one for decades. Nice to see loyalty is still alive in this day and age. [He's just padding down the hall rambling at this point.]

I said Napoleon, Dirk! [He doesn't even look over his shoulder as he calls that out.]

Edited 2013-07-06 13:46 (UTC)

[Gangbanging the cake would be pretty enjoyable, he won't lie. If Murdoc is going to head out the room, then Bro is going to follow pretty closely, peering over his shoulder at the dog in his arms before falling back a little so he can get a nice view of the butt.]

If you have more than one, I ain't buying you jack diddly. [He lets out a light scoff.] I ain't all that surprised he was so enthusiastic to get the hell outta dodge. Being a slave must be pretty hellish.

[He's just going to act like he has no idea what Murdoc is talking about.]

Yeah. Nabroleon. That's what I said!

[Gangbanging? No. That's disgusting and a waste of good cake. Unless of course gangbanging is the new way to say eat a whole cake in one sitting. Just watch out what words you teach Murdoc.

He can feel Bro's eyes on him, so he might be strutting a little more as he discreetly guides them to the kitchen.]

I already said, it's a big house! One isn't enough. Besides, you'd need a whole team of them to piece your home back together! Surely you can spare one for me.

[He rolls his eyes.] He was perfectly well taken care of, I hardly see what's hellish about it.

[That's exactly what he meant. He would probably teach Murdoc the phrase just to mess with him. It would be pretty amusing to hear him say it, honestly.

But he can't help but stop in his tracks when Murdoc speaks, and he folds his arms, giving him a very unimpressed look.]

I ain't buying you shit if you're just gonna insult my place, dude.

[Seriously, that was rude. He loves his place.]

[Murdoc casts a glance over his shoulder as Bro responds, knowing he's getting an unimpressed look for a harmless comment. Bro has said much nastier things, and really, everyone knows Murdoc's place is bigger and better.

He rolls his eyes at him, but he turns and steps toward Bro, holding out Napoleon as he does.]

But you've already bought me somethin', see? [He raises an eyebrow at him, moving Napoleon forward so the two are touching noses.] What's another house elf on top of such a generous gift? [You cannot resist the combined powers of Murdoc and a puppy, Bro. Let it gooo.]

I don't think I ever said thank you, now that I think about it. [He smiles a little wider.] I love you. [At this point, Napoleon is going to lovingly thrust his tongue up Bro's nostril.]

Edited 2013-07-06 14:57 (UTC)

[Bro lets out a grump noise as the dog is thrust in his face, but he doesn't pull away. Still, he can't help but be a little put out right now, considering he just dropped a fair bit of money on the dog and Murdoc insulted his house. Sure, Murdoc's place is bigger, but that doesn't mean it's better. Bro's house is nice and lived in and full of beautiful things like puppets. Murdoc's is kind of stuffy and reeks of rich boy syndrome.]

Yeah, and I might be starting to regret it, 'cuz not only were you an asshole, now you're getting greedy.

[Bro rolls his eyes and is about to respond when he gets the tongue up his nose and he recoils irritably.]

You're welcome.

[Bro, you know you make a hell of a lot of jabs. Murdoc is still finding his feet with having a sense of humor, he's just trying to be more Stridery in a pretentious, condescending way.]

You don't regret it one bit. [He corrects him because he's clearly wrong, grimacing at the dog and moving to place him on the ground between them.]

Don't. [His voice is low and it's pretty obvious he's used to training puppies into proper gentlemen, but he drops the act as soon as he's back on Bro's level. With both hands free, he can reach for Bro's and place them on his waist (which is really just code for touch my butt) and leans down to give him a proper kiss with no tongue up the nose.]

[Yeah he may make jabs, but it's never toward the man's house. Usually. Okay maybe he has, but it's still hard for him not to take it at least a little personally, when he's done such a nice thing as this. Gosh. He grumbles a response and raises an eyebrow as Murdoc puts the pooch down and scolds it. Wow, how commanding. Any dog would listen to that tone.

He lets out a sigh as Murdoc moves over to him and places his hands on his waist. He knows exactly what Murdoc wants, and slowly he moves his hands to the ass like Murdoc wants. He won't deny it's a great ass and feels so good after all this time, but he's still a little burned from the comment.

And that burn is slowly cooling as he feels Murdoc's lips on his own, and he lets out a small, content noise before pulling away, though still close enough for their noses to touch.]

You think you can just kiss me and I'll forget all about that little jab?

[To be fair, Murdoc would appreciate Bro's house a lot more if he hadn't been humped out of it so quickly. It's endearing and it smells like him and it's full of things that remind him of Bro. He does sort of envy the smaller, more personal size of the place. He'd deny it, of course, but the size and age of his house both makes him lonely and just a little burdened with family legacy. He'd have to dig deep to begin to admit any of that, so he'd rather they move on.

Murdoc hums in approval as Bro's hands move downward, he presses a little closer when he's kissed back and shuts his eyes for the moment. He drapes his arms around Bro's shoulders and nuzzles a little more into the touch.]

Yes. [He answers curtly, lips curling upward into a smirk.]

[THOSE particular feelings are ones he would very much like to unearth one of these days. He imagines if he did, it might be a lot easier for their respective families to come together and find a suitable place to live for the both of them. Mainly Dirk and Dave, who really don't want to live here. Maybe buying a new place really could be beneficial for the two of them...

But alas, it's obviously a thing to discuss at a later date.

He rolls his eyes at the comment and shakes his head, leaning in to nip at that frustratingly delicious bottom lip of Murdoc's before pulling back and looking him in the face.]

You're either really overconfident in your kissing, or you just don't want to deal with the fallout of your tactlessness. I'm actually betting it's a little of both.

[And just then, there's a smell...

And Bro just gives him a cheeky grin.]

Did I mention he ain't potty trained?

[Eventually they’ll get down to the nitty gritty business behind why they haven’t already moved in. There are a lot of issues to touch on there! Commitment issues, fear, children and really just the unpleasant business of moving and the discussions and compromises that follow it. At the very least, it’s a truth universally acknowledged that weeks away from each other are good for inspiring changes of heart as far as finding a place where they can be together goes.

Murdoc lets out a rough sounding sort of chuckle as Bro nips, laughing really isn’t his bit and he really fails to sound endearing or adorable when he does. It always manages to make him sound perverse, which he supposes with Bro it isn’t too far from how he feels.]

You know what they say about assumptions. [He pokes at his chest. Ass- You – Me. Geddit? Assume? Yeah, he’s funny.

Murdoc scowls as Bro grins, stepping out of the embrace and wasting no time bending down to scold poor Napoleon. Training starts now, apparently.]

You’re goin’ to clean that up, I hope you know. [He lifts the puppy upward again.] You’ll both sleep outside if he does it again, for that matter.

[And along with that, eventually they will also realize that their issues are stupid and that they belong together forever. Really, they just need to quit being dumb and acknowledge the fact they're stuck with each other forever.

But first they have to deal with that small, obvious little problem. That smell ain't getting any fainter.]

Yes I've never heard that one before. [You're so original, Murdoc, hurrhurr.]

Excuse me, though? Last I checked this was your dog. It ain't my responsibility what it does once it leaves my hands. So I think it's your job to pick up the stank pile, daddy-o.

I never asked for a dog! Surely you don't intend to leave me to do all of the care taking when it's clearly an indication of.. [Commitment...] Teamwork.

[He stares at him for a second before picking the little bundle of fluff up and holding it away from him.] Perhaps if you hadn't fired one of my elves we wouldn't have this issue. Regardless, I'm sure one of them will be in the kitchen. [Which is another way of saying 'hurry up I want cake'.]

[Yes, it would be pretty damn selfish of him to leave Murdoc with all the work, but. This is poop. He dealt with enough poop when Dirk and Dave were babies. He's really not in the mood to deal with it anymore.]

How about you deal with the shit and I deal with... whatever the fuck else there is.

[Or... Yeah, you know what. A house elf can do it. Whatever.]

I didn't fire it. Besides, he seemed pretty fuckin' keen to get out of here, so it ain't really my fault. [He's heading towards the kitchen though, shaking his head.] I can't believe you really want a house elf to pick up dog shit. That just reeks of abuse of power.

[It very well would be! If Bro can't tend to the messes their dog makes, how can he ever trust him to keep a house tidy?

He shakes his head at Bro, frowning in disapproval.] There's plenty else involved, but I highly doubt you're at all versed in the art of dog training. Did you even bring food for him?

[He quirks a curious brow, following Bro into the kitchen.] It's their job to clean, I hardly see how it could be an abuse. Honestly, if it bothers you so you're welcome to replace them and clean for them, seein' as how you're so eager to let them go.

[You know, he honestly wants to say yes. Yes he totally brought dog food and Murdoc is silly for doubting him. The only problem?

He forgot. He forgot and he hates himself for it because he can't rub it in Murdoc' face. He's half tempted to cast a nonverbal accio- no, nevermind. He isn't tempted to do it at all, because he really doesn't want Murdoc's house to be buried under dog food. It would be like getting snowed in, but with dog food and he just. Nope. Not going to happen.]

So I forgot dog food, it doesn't mean I'm bad at raising dogs. Geez. You can feed him some of the cake you were molesting.

[He rolls his eyes.]

I barely clean my own house, I'm not turning into your servant too. It doesn't bother me THAT much.

Dogs can't eat chocolate. [He says ever so matter-of-factly. Surely the dog expert would be aware of that much!]

I suppose Bickie will just have to share until we can find something more suitable. I imagine it won't need much more than a few spoonfuls. [Which would have been a tragic loss to his cake.] And I was not molesting it.

[He crinkles his nose at Bro, setting Napoleon on the floor of the kitchen so he can skitter around while Murdoc looks for what's important.] I could tell that the instant I walked in, actually. It might not bother you but I have to keep a certain amount of elves in order to maintain such a big home, you know.

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