Woof

[plushaeusrumpified]

WHO: Bro and Murdoc
TONE: Rainbows
RATING: PG13 because Bro
WHEN: RIGHT NOW
WHERE: Murdoc's prissy pureblood palace
WHAT: Bro is a dumbass
STATUS: Ongoing

[Being alone was hard. He'd thought the few school breaks during the semester were difficult, but Summer? Man, that was the worst. When you were so damn used to having someone and then trying to adjust to not being around them every day, it was really goddamn hard. It tended to make someone do stupid things.

Like buy animals.

He had a reason, though! He was walking down the street and it was just there. And the first thing he'd thought of was Murdoc when he looked into it's face. How, he isn't sure. Because Murdoc is far from adorable like that. He's just adorable in his own way. His own sexy, beautiful way and goddamn he really missed the guy. So when he saw the dog, it was as if he absolutely had to get it. He was aware of how dumb and borderline cliche it was, but that didn't stop him. He could pass that off as irony.

Bro was pretty damn sure Murdoc would love it. How could you not? It was fucking tiny and adorable and could fit in the palm of your hand. What wasn't to love? So after a rather traumatizing apparation to Murdoc's house, he stood outside of the door. The dog was kind of shaky because of it, but he was pretty sure it'd be fine after a moment.

Without hesitation, Bro knocks on the door, before moving to hold the puppy behind his back.]

Comments

[wwistful]

[Eventually they’ll get down to the nitty gritty business behind why they haven’t already moved in. There are a lot of issues to touch on there! Commitment issues, fear, children and really just the unpleasant business of moving and the discussions and compromises that follow it. At the very least, it’s a truth universally acknowledged that weeks away from each other are good for inspiring changes of heart as far as finding a place where they can be together goes.

Murdoc lets out a rough sounding sort of chuckle as Bro nips, laughing really isn’t his bit and he really fails to sound endearing or adorable when he does. It always manages to make him sound perverse, which he supposes with Bro it isn’t too far from how he feels.]

You know what they say about assumptions. [He pokes at his chest. Ass- You – Me. Geddit? Assume? Yeah, he’s funny.

Murdoc scowls as Bro grins, stepping out of the embrace and wasting no time bending down to scold poor Napoleon. Training starts now, apparently.]

You’re goin’ to clean that up, I hope you know. [He lifts the puppy upward again.] You’ll both sleep outside if he does it again, for that matter.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[And along with that, eventually they will also realize that their issues are stupid and that they belong together forever. Really, they just need to quit being dumb and acknowledge the fact they're stuck with each other forever.

But first they have to deal with that small, obvious little problem. That smell ain't getting any fainter.]

Yes I've never heard that one before. [You're so original, Murdoc, hurrhurr.]

Excuse me, though? Last I checked this was your dog. It ain't my responsibility what it does once it leaves my hands. So I think it's your job to pick up the stank pile, daddy-o.

[wwistful]

I never asked for a dog! Surely you don't intend to leave me to do all of the care taking when it's clearly an indication of.. [Commitment...] Teamwork.

[He stares at him for a second before picking the little bundle of fluff up and holding it away from him.] Perhaps if you hadn't fired one of my elves we wouldn't have this issue. Regardless, I'm sure one of them will be in the kitchen. [Which is another way of saying 'hurry up I want cake'.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Yes, it would be pretty damn selfish of him to leave Murdoc with all the work, but. This is poop. He dealt with enough poop when Dirk and Dave were babies. He's really not in the mood to deal with it anymore.]

How about you deal with the shit and I deal with... whatever the fuck else there is.

[Or... Yeah, you know what. A house elf can do it. Whatever.]

I didn't fire it. Besides, he seemed pretty fuckin' keen to get out of here, so it ain't really my fault. [He's heading towards the kitchen though, shaking his head.] I can't believe you really want a house elf to pick up dog shit. That just reeks of abuse of power.

[wwistful]

[It very well would be! If Bro can't tend to the messes their dog makes, how can he ever trust him to keep a house tidy?

He shakes his head at Bro, frowning in disapproval.] There's plenty else involved, but I highly doubt you're at all versed in the art of dog training. Did you even bring food for him?

[He quirks a curious brow, following Bro into the kitchen.] It's their job to clean, I hardly see how it could be an abuse. Honestly, if it bothers you so you're welcome to replace them and clean for them, seein' as how you're so eager to let them go.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[You know, he honestly wants to say yes. Yes he totally brought dog food and Murdoc is silly for doubting him. The only problem?

He forgot. He forgot and he hates himself for it because he can't rub it in Murdoc' face. He's half tempted to cast a nonverbal accio- no, nevermind. He isn't tempted to do it at all, because he really doesn't want Murdoc's house to be buried under dog food. It would be like getting snowed in, but with dog food and he just. Nope. Not going to happen.]

So I forgot dog food, it doesn't mean I'm bad at raising dogs. Geez. You can feed him some of the cake you were molesting.

[He rolls his eyes.]

I barely clean my own house, I'm not turning into your servant too. It doesn't bother me THAT much.

[wwistful]

Dogs can't eat chocolate. [He says ever so matter-of-factly. Surely the dog expert would be aware of that much!]

I suppose Bickie will just have to share until we can find something more suitable. I imagine it won't need much more than a few spoonfuls. [Which would have been a tragic loss to his cake.] And I was not molesting it.

[He crinkles his nose at Bro, setting Napoleon on the floor of the kitchen so he can skitter around while Murdoc looks for what's important.] I could tell that the instant I walked in, actually. It might not bother you but I have to keep a certain amount of elves in order to maintain such a big home, you know.