sortinghat_logs | Whatcha doin'?

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Whatcha doin'?

WHO: Murdoc Donoghue and Bro Strider
TONE: Strained, Awkward. Trouble in paradise.
RATING: R for possible mentions of sexy things?
WHEN: Sometime after New years.
WHERE: Greece, Murdoc Manor.
WHAT: Bro visits Murdoc for the Holidays and things turn sour when blood prejudices are brought up.

With the way things are going, Murdoc is pretty damn casual around Dirk now. He doesn't feel obligated to put on airs or even tidy up or dress up for him. It's nice to feel so relaxed around someone, he'd almost forgotten what it was like. Naturally, just because he's under no obligation does not mean Murdoc was going to have his house anything less than flawless on Dirk's arrival. It had been cleaned top to bottom and of course, it didn't matter one bit. Having Dirk in his house seemed so strange, he seemed so out of place in a home that's clearly been lived in by purebloods since it was built.

He didn't feel like it mattered, though. Really, he's just happy Dirk is here at all. Maybe it's because they're at the fiddly point in the relationship where being around each other is important. Or maybe, and this is far more likely, they're both so horribly clingy that a single week feels more like several painful months. Yes, that's more likely. Though neither of them would ever admit it.

It's been a pleasant time already and he feels like maybe, they're both finally adjusting to this. He certainly isn't ready to commit to moving in with the other man, but having him in his house didn't seem like such an unnatural change. Particularly when they're both sprawled on the couch together relaxing by the fire, honestly it's a feeling Murdoc had only read about before. It seems strange to think it, but he's sure he's never felt this comfortable before.

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The casual feeling is pretty mutual at this point, too. Never in Bro's life has he forgone his shades more than he does around Murdoc. That alone is a huge accomplishment and Murdoc should be proud. But beyond that, though, he's never really been able to relax around someone like he can Murdoc. Ever. He's always guarded and comes off as aloof or like a huge-ass troll. But not around Murdoc. The man's seen more of Bro than anyone ever gets to see, both literally and figuratively.

He's had a good time here so far, too. Their lifestyles are so vastly different, but even despite that they have their similarities and the differences aren't bad. It's pretty intriguing, if Bro can be honest. He's never really spent so much time with a pureblood before. Not outside of Hogwarts, at least. For the longest time, he mainly lived as a muggle. Seeing how a pureblood lives is a pretty fucking interesting experience on it's own, but it being Murdoc just makes it even better and more interesting. He's starting to not want to leave. At least not for a while, but he knows he needs to get back to the castle at some point.

But that's not on his mind right now. In fact he's pretty much tried not thinking about how he'll need to go back. What he is thinking about is how it's about time for the two of them to do what he'd had planned since before coming here. He hasn't brought it up until now, since he wanted to get settled in first. Now that he has, now that they're fully able to enjoy each other's company without any awkwardness or anything, he's starting to think it is time to show off his little surprise.

"So, did I ever mention that I brought somethin' for the two of us to do together?" he asks after a little while of silence.

Murdoc lets out a contented sigh, rubbing his legs against Dirk and enjoying the contact between them no matter how small and insignificant it may seem. Another great benefit to having Dirk here and having his kids out of the house is that sex is almost always on the table. With a boyfriend like Dirk, you can't really blame Murdoc for making the assumption every time he opens his mouth. Especially with a line like that.

"I know."

He lets out a soft chuckle and pushes himself closer so he's practically sprawled over Dirk before he nuzzles his face into his neck, pressing kisses along it. Oh yes, certainly not something they can do at the castle. It's a wonder they've left Murdoc's bed at all the weekend.

Finally, he makes his way to his ear and gives it a nip before continuing. "You brought yourself."

"I-" No, that's not what he means. That's not what he means at all. Goddamn it, Murdoc, you make his life really difficult sometimes. One would think it would be Bro who is the sex maniac between the two of them, but honestly? It's Murdoc who wants sex more often than not. Bro finds it kind of ironic sometimes when he really thinks about it, even though he usually doesn't mind.

And he's finding it really hard to mind right now.

But no! He didn't mean sex, goddamn it, and they are going to actually do something besides it for once. In the name of bonding. "You're such a goober," he says with an amused rolled of his eyes, shifting away and pushing Murdoc away gently. "A sexually frustrated goober. I actually meant something else. Something that actually involves clothes." But he will press a quick kiss to Murdoc's lips anyway just to appease him.

After that, he leans over and reaches for the bag that he's kept close to him at all times. It has his shades in it- he didn't leave them at home, and despite the fact he's left them off, he still wants to keep them around. He opens it and pulls out his laptop. "We're finally gonna watch some of the movies I've been referencing for god knows how long."

He pulls away as he's pushed and quirks an eyebrow at Dirk. It's taking all of his strength not to sulk about it, but he is fairly disappointed. However, he's a grown man and he doesn't need to pout over this. He's sure Dirk will make up for it later.

Or he's leading him on. Which makes him pay a little closer attention to what he's doing, of course. He just hopes whatever Dirk intends on doing is as good as sex. Or better than, even.

He leans into the kiss, keeping the unimpressed look on his face because fuck you he isn't a goober. Whatever that is.

When Dirk pulls out the laptop, his unimpressed expression is quick to turn into a scowl. Internally, he's groaning over more of this muggle shit. The movie Dirk showed him in London was horrible and loud and such a bore to watch, he can't imagine what this will be like. Hell. He doesn't even know what the fuck this thing is? Why is it in his house?

You know what? He isn't even going to hide the nose crinkle.

"What is that?"

Well, he certainly wasn't expecting such a strong reaction. But he's not going to question it much at first- he's attributing it to the fact that he just cockblocked Murdoc. If the situation were reversed, he would feel a little irritated too. He's sure that Murdoc will get over it, though. Especially when they actually get to watching stuff. As far as he knows, Murdoc didn't hate the movie when they went. He knew it isn't Murdoc's taste exactly, but he still thought maybe they had a decent time.

"It's my laptop," he says in response to Murdoc's question as he opens it, the screen flickering to life as it loads up. It reaches the 'Oh hell no' screen after a few seconds, and he taps the password in. "Y'know how I've been makin' all these references that you never get? Well I'm about to fix that. I have a shitton of movies on this thing."

If he sounds excited, it's because he is. He's wanted to show Murdoc this stuff for a long while. He's learned so much about Purebloodedness from Murdoc, it makes him eager to help Murdoc learn more about Muggles. And it's just a cheesy thing to do with him and he just thinks it'll overall be a fun thing.

The words laptop mean absolutely nothing to Murdoc. He can see it's atop his lap. It's in the way of his lap. It's annoying him. Then again, things he doesn't understand tend to frustrate him. Rhys frustrates him because he rarely understands his motivations. The movie frustrated him because he didn't understand why such a fine figure of a man would settle for such a vapid woman. And this laptop. This fucking laptop frustrates him because it's getting inbetween himself and Dirk.

Wordlessly, he places a hand on the back of it and presses it closed. Not giving Dirk much time to mind his fingers as he does.

"I don't want to watch a movie." His tone is pretty firm. There's no implication that he doesn't want to watch it because he wants to do something else. It sounds as if the idea of watching a movie irritates him. And it does. He doesn't think he can sit through another one of those things.

"I- hey!" it comes out snippy, because yeah, his fingers were in the way and he just barely managed to get them out before the laptop closed. He shoots Murdoc an irritable 'wtf' expression just as Murdoc starts speaking. Confusion and annoyance wash over him at that. "Why the hell not?" he asks, trying not to sound a little hurt. This is something that he's been wanting to do for... at least a month now, and Murdoc's tone makes it sound like it's the last thing he would want to do. Bro doesn't understand where this is coming from. As if rebelliously, he pushes the laptop back open. "It'll be fun."

There's a small, fleeting moment of guilt for being so abrasive but it's quick to disappear under the more pressing amount of do not want he has for this situation. He's tired of having muggle references and muggle artifacts thrown in his face and he's sick of not entirely grasping the situation. Dirk is the muggleborn, he should be the one adhering to the situation, right?

He turns away from the laptop and folds his arms over his chest, refusing to look at it. Childish? Maybe a little, but he can't think of a better way to handle the situation.

"I said I don't want to."

"Why the hell not?" he finally asks after a few seconds of just. staring at him. He's just kind of baffled at Murdoc's reaction to this. For one, Murdoc is being completely childish over it. He's never actually seen him look so damn childish over something, but there he is. Folding his arms and looking like a kid. And he can't understand why Murdoc doesn't want to watch anything. He also can't help but feel a little annoyed, because he really wants to watch something. Bro's been looking forward to this so long and now it's like he's getting cockblocked and he just doesn't get it. "Why're you actin' like this?"

Murdoc turns to give Dirk a sour look. He has a lot of answers for it and he knows it. It's because he doesn't want to look stupid, because he doesn't want to sit through something stupid, because he thinks it's stupid and, above all, because he wants to spend time with Dirk without technology getting in the way.

He stands silently and steps away from the couch, moving to exit the room and muttering in a voice that Dirk would probably be able to hear.

"I don't want to be in the same room as it."

Bro just stares at him, his mouth hanging open slightly as he watches Murdoc's retreating form. He doesn't get what the actual fuck is going on, but he just feels confused and slightly hurt as Murdoc nears the door. He's starting to suspect that there's something seriously going wrong and it makes him feel nervous.

And then Murdoc speaks, and the nervousness is replaced with even more irritation. Irritation and indignation and also confusion. He's on his feet and behind Murdoc in a flash, reaching out to grab him by the wrist to stop him. "What the fuck is your problem?" he asks, and the irritation shows in his voice. He just fucking can't understand why Murdoc is making a big deal over this at all and that's, for the moment, what is irritating him most. Because he just doesn't know what the problem is. "It's just a fucking laptop, it's not going to eat you. It's not going to make your house explode. All it's gonna do is play a fucking movie. Is that really so bad?"

Murdoc's moving form is hunched over a little as he sulks. He just wants to get the fuck out of that room and get some space. Maybe break something so he can feel less stupidly frustrated with the situation. He's trying very hard to keep the anger pent up for now. As ridiculous as his annoyance is, he hasn't quite got the heart to yell at Dirk over something so menial.

That is until Dirk grabs his wrist and says something so damn condescending (In Murdoc's eyes, of course) that it's enough to make him whirl around and glare at him before finally snapping at him.

"I am sick of you constantly shovin' that stuff in my face, in MY HOUSE and actin' as if it's fuckin' beyond my scope of understandin'. Do you REALLY think I think it's goin' to bloody well eat me? How stupid do you think I am, Dirk?"

That. Was a lot louder than he'd intended it to be. Yet, all he can do is stare all wide eyed and angry at Dirk.

Edited 2013-01-03 08:27 (UTC)

When Murdoc turns around, he can immediately tell that somewhere in what he'd said he'd screwed up, because he can see the anger in his eyes. At first he wants to backtrack, to fix whatever it is he's said because he didn't actually mean to piss Murdoc off. But then Murdoc speaks. At first, there's a brief flash of hurt in his eyes before it's quickly replaced by anger and indignation. Not only because he's being yelled at, but because Murdoc is just acting so... fucking stupid about this and the fact he's yelling at him over it just makes him angry.

He lets go of Murdoc's hand when he's finished speaking, and right now he really wishes that he had his shades on. It's his natural defense when shits gets hard, and up until now he'd been fine with his guard down, but now he can feel himself wanting to retreat behind his guard and he fucking hates it. For so long he's been relaxed and to start feeling so guarded again, it's just a really shitty feeling. Especially in regards to Murdoc of all people. The one person he'd actually let it down for.

"I didn't think you were stupid," he says after a few moments, his voice low and quiet. "But I think you're being a really huge ass right now for no reason at fucking all." He knows Murdoc can be a little extreme sometimes, but he's never seen him blow something like this out of proportion. He may be childish on occasion, but this is just... baffling. "And I don't know what the fuck you mean by stuff, and why whatever the hell that stuff is is being treated like the most disgusting thing imaginable."

Edited 2013-01-03 08:41 (UTC)

So, now they're mutually angry and there's very little chance of either of them calming down. Murdoc wriggles at his wrist until Dirk lets it go and he's quick to fold his arms over his chest as he does. He's beyond feeling sorry for what he's saying right now, he's too mad to comprehend it.

"If you didn't think it you did a damn good job of implyin' it." He grumbles with a small sniff before waving him off and pointing at the laptop. "That's what I mean by 'stuff'. All of this muggle shit, there's absolutely no need for it."

It feels good to finally say it, to point out that he has a problem with it and that it annoys him. However, as soon as he says it he's almost certain he'll come to regret it.

"I never said anythin' about it bein' disgustin'. It's needless and from what I've seen, incredibly stupid. Can't you just enjoy yourself without those things?"

Bro opens his mouth to speak, but at first nothing comes out. That flabbergasted feeling is back and he doesn't know what the fuck to even say. But the more that Murdoc continues it's just slowly replaced by anger and indignation. He never expected anything like this from Murdoc. He knew that he often got exasperated with Muggle things, but for him to be so... venomous? It's not an easy pill to swallow and he just doesn't even know how to deal with this situation.

But one thing he knows is that despite the anger, he does feel hurt. But that's not showing in his eyes right now. Right now, it's the anger that's winning over, because he's just... mad. He can't believe this is a fucking conversation they're having.

"Have you forgotten the fact that I'm a muggleborn?" he finally manages to get out, "That you're basically insulting me right now? That you're being a huge fucking asshole over something really fucking stupid?" He just. shakes his head, turning away from Murdoc. "And really fuckin' closeminded, too. I ever ask you to live without your pureblood shit?" As he speaks, he crosses the room and rips open his bag, pulling out his shades.

Fuck not wearing them. When he turns back around, they're firmly on his face.

"You're acting like you're fuckin' better than me."

The initial response that comes to mind is actually an agreement, for once. Only he's agreeing that he's acting like he's better because, well, he is. Isn't he? Purebloods are descended from magic, in a society built on it it's only natural that they'd have the upperhand on those with non-magical backgrounds. It's only natural that there would be inferior and superior people within society, and Murdoc thinks it's fairly generous of him to have looked beyond that to date Dirk.

Not that he'd ever actually sat down and thought about it like that, because he'd never considered going so far as to marry Dirk. He's been married once, his mother acted like his wife dying was a failure on his part, he had no intention of going through it again.

"No. I hadn't forgotten. You make it so damn obvious, I.." He trails off, dropping his hands to clench his fists and frown as Dirk turns away from him. He doesn't know how to finish that sentence. He doesn't know what the end of it actually is.

He doesn't finish the sentence, he just meets Dirk's shades with his own eyes, getting annoyed that he's only looking at his reflection.

"Was that really necessary?"

Of course he makes it obvious, he wants to snap, but he keeps that part in. It takes effort, but he doesn't want to just escalate this further. He just... of course he does! He's a fucking muggleborn who up until a few months ago was surrounded completely and totally with nothing but Muggle things. And even before that, he'd never completely immersed himself in Wizarding culture- aside from languages, that is.

"Yeah, it was necessary," he says in response to Murdoc's question. He's retreating behind his wall where Murdoc can't see what he's feeling. He hates having his emotions readable in situations like this. Hell, up until Murdoc came along he'd hated having his emotions readable period. This whole thing is just really getting to him, he can't help but feel slightly betrayed that Murdoc is putting down everything he's into simply because it's Muggle related.

He also can't help but feel there's something there that Murdoc didn't say. Like there's more to it, and Bro honestly at this point cannot let it go. "Do you think you're better than me?" he adds after a few seconds, and he finds himself dreading the answer as much as the thought pisses him off.

At that, Murdoc feels hurt. He doesn't seem aware that he has no right to be hurt by Dirk's need to hide his eyes. He doesn't feel as if he's done anything terrible wrong. There's nothing wrong with stating his opinions and feelings in regards to muggle technology and customs, if Dirk is allowed to like it he has just as much right to dislike it.

"I fail to see why.." He trails off with a grumble. It's not as if he's threatening the other man. He doesn't think it's fair that he needs to bare all of his feelings when Dirk gets to hide. This really isn't fair at all.

His mouth twitches as his hesitation to speak is called out. His mind is racing to find technicalities and detailed explanations of why he IS better and that it's okay. However, even he can see that Dirk wouldn't be entirely comfortable with that answer. Hell, he knows he'd be pissed.

"I wouldn't say better than so much as superior to."

That sort of tumbles out. He lets it hang there for a moment before he fumbles to justify himself. He sputters a little, rubbing his neck with his hand awkwardly before continuing in a softer tone. "Despite the differences in our rank, I've found myself bein' hopelessly in love with you regardless of your inferiority."

Edited 2013-01-03 12:19 (UTC)

Bro just grunts in response to the first comment, not even bothering to answer it at all. In his mind, Murdoc should get why. He hasn't exactly hidden the fact of how vulnerable he tends to feel without his shades, and here he's suddenly thrust into a situation where he's never felt more vulnerable. It's also been a long time since he's felt this angry and hurt and hell if he's going to let Murdoc see him for how he really feels now of all times. Maybe it's selfish of him, in a way. Letting Murdoc see the good, but hiding when it comes to the bad.

But he can't really be faulted for being upset and not wanting his emotions to be seen now of all times. Not when Murdoc is just being so fucking unreasonable.

And speaking of unreasonable, when Murdoc speaks it feels like a physical punch in the gut. He saw it coming, honestly. With the way this was going, it seemed like the obvious answer. But that doesn't make it hurt any less. It doesn't make him any less angry, because holy shit, is this really what he's hearing? Is this really a thing that's happening right now?

When Murdoc continues, it definitely solidifies that it's a thing and his mouth falls open when Murdoc says that. And any happy feeling that he might've felt isn't there, fury where joy should be. He can't fucking believe that this is how Murdoc is choosing to say that. That fucking word. It's enough to make him want to cry and at the same time punch something. This whole thing is just making him feel like everything has been nothing but a lie. Has Murdoc really considered himself superior this entire fucking time? He just. can't believe it at all.

"Thank you," he says, his voice quivering, whether from rage or some other emotion isn't clear, "for the shittiest confession of love I've ever heard, and for making it downright fucking impossible to even believe it." He just shakes his head and moves, pushing past Murdoc so that he can start heading towards the bedroom where his bags are. "I can't even fucking begin to believe this." He doesn't even know what to say right now. He wants to say more, he wants to fucking argue, but he just... Right now the desire to get out is bigger than the one to argue.

By this point we've already realised that Murdoc is both incredibly dense and so painfully self centered, so it's no surprise that the man is utterly confused by Dirk's reaction. He finally admitted that he loves him. He's felt it coming on for a while, but it felt far too soon to admit it.

He wanted to be romantic and he wanted to declare it in some sort of wild gesture, but now he's just horrified over the idea of losing Dirk. It needed to be said, and he had hoped maybe it would clarify things more. Somehow, it seems to have made everything worse.

Murdoc watches Dirk carefully, taking in all of his reactions with a genuinely confused expression on his face. He's angry now? Why? He would've thought the confession would make him happy. Does he not feel the same way? Is that what this is?

"I'm not lyin'!" He says, sounding incredibly defensive. "I don't care if you don't believe it, it's true." He announces with a small snort, bracing himself as Dirk pushes past him and turning to follow him. "Where are you goin'?"

Bro wants to believe him when he says that, but right now it's just not possible for him. Not when he feels like EVERYTHING over the last few months has been a lie. He can't deal with knowing Murdoc's considered himself superior, not when he's for once felt like he was equal with someone. To find out that he's been considered inferior? It feels like a biggest fucking betrayal that he could possibly get.

"How the hell am I supposed to believe it?" he asks, and he doesn't turn around, he doesn't even attempt to look at Murdoc. He can't. He cannot look at him right now because he's just too upset to want to. He doesn't answer Murdoc's question, either. It should be pretty fucking obvious where he's going the closer they get to Murdoc's room, so he won't even bother answering it. Instead, now that Murdoc has him talking, he can't stop.

"The shittiest part is how you don't even seem to care," he continues, and by this point he's throwing open the door to Murdoc's room. "Nah, that's not the shittiest part, but it's damn well near the top. The fucking shittiest part is that you actually think you're superior to me. How long's that been a thing, Murdoc? And what even the fuck makes you better, anyway? You think just because you have a little more fucking purity to it, you're better?"

He just scoffs then, grabbing his bag and throwing it onto the bed. He hasn't unpacked, but he does have a few stray clothes lying around that he's beginning to throw into it.

On the contrary, everything over the past few months has made Murdoc question the beliefs that have been firmly planted in his mind from, well, as long as he can remember. He doesn't think he's ever become this close to a muggleborn in his entire life. Doesn't Dirk understand that he's willing to compromise that?

He follows silently, not wanting to interject until he knows exactly what he's answering here. He's fuming to himself though, because he really doesn't get why Dirk is so angry. However, he's sick to his stomach with worry. He knows where Dirk is going, but he doesn't understand why. Or at least, he doesn't want to understand why. He doesn't want him to leave.

Once Dirk finishes talking, he really doesn't know how to answer. He's already said everything he thinks, repeating himself is just going to make Dirk even angrier.

In quiet desperation, he picks up one of Dirk's shirts, as if holding it hostage while he considers an answer.

"It's always been a thing..hasn't it? I thought you would've known.." By this point he sounds terribly uncertain with himself, but he doesn't understand why. "Please don't leave."

He lets out a frustrated noise when he realizes that Murdoc has his shirt. He's nearly done packing, it's one of the only things left and part of him just wants to say fuck it and not even worry about it, but then Murdoc speaks. His fists clench and for the hundredth time, he just can't believe that this is even happening.

And then Murdoc has the audacity to ask him not to fucking leave, and he just rolls his eyes, because at this point the fucking pity he's trying to get just isn't flying. "When you say shit like that, why the hell not?" he demands, "Because I sure as shit didn't know that. Pardon the fuck out of me for not realizing though, eh? I bet you think that's my fault? Heh." He steps forward and yanks the shirt out of Murdoc's grasp.

"I stupidly thought that you might somehow consider us equals," he said, turning his back on Murdoc to throw the shirt in his bag. "Because I sure as hell did until now."

Well, it looks like that one isn't working. He isn't sure what he's meant to do at this point. He doesn't feel like he needs to apologise, but he doesn't want Dirk to leave. He can't even stand to think about how pathetic and alone he'll feel once he leaves.

He lets him yank the shirt without much of a fight. He doesn't have it in him to be as angry as Dirk, despite starting the fight with his own irritation. His mind is more centered on Dirk leaving right now, that's the priority to him. Even if he has no intention of apologising.

"I never said it was your fault." Because hey, he can at least save himself by correcting Dirk. "It is what it is." To put it simply, anyway. As if you don't choose to be restricted by your prejudices, of course.

He can see that isn't going to work at this point, and he's desperate. So he's going to circle Dirk and make him face him so he can press in for the most pathetic, please don't fucking leave me kiss he can manage to steal from the other man.

He does one sweep around the room to make sure he's gotten everything. If there's anything that could've solidified the decision of leaving, it's Murdoc's next words and he moves towards his bag to slam it closed. He's so angry right now that it's a physical effort not to shake, but he's trying not to. he doesn't want Murdoc to know how effected he is by this. But the truth is he's never been so angry and hurt in recent memory and the fact that Murdoc doesn't seem to care, doesn't seem to get it... that's the hardest part to deal with this.

Because it would be one thing if he did, if he actually seemed apologetic. They could work through it if he did. But Murdoc doesn't fucking care and he doesn't see how they can get through this because he can't just get over this. He just fucking can't.

When Murdoc steps around him, he has to clench his fists to stop himself from doing something like shove him. He doesn't want to look at him, and the last thing he wants to do right now is kiss him, but suddenly Murdoc's lips are on his. For a brief moment, he leans into it on sheer instinct. A part of him wants this to be okay, he wants to just go back to normal and for a very brief moment, he gives into the kiss. But then his mind comes back to him and he pulls away, his lips curling up in disgust.

Before he can even stop himself, he's pulling back his fist and swinging it hard at Murdoc's nose.

"That's all I fuckin' am to you, isn't it?" and it's his turn to yell. "Nothing but a good fuck, because it's really fucking obvious that you have no respect for me beyond that!" His voice is loud and shaky and that's when the hurt finally comes through in his tone. He moves around Murdoc and closes his bag, slinging it over his shoulder before he moves to head for the door. "You are not. fucking better than me."

For that moment, Murdoc thinks it might be okay too. He's eager and he pushes into it as well. He doesn't know how to verbally fix this and he doesn't understand why he needs to apologise, but maybe there's a chance for both of them to fix this without speaking. At least, he hoped so.

However, that was far too good to be true and it's a damn good thing Murdoc can't see Dirk's eyes right now. That disgusted look he's giving him is heart breaking and it pains him to see it from Dirk. He doesn't understand this at all, but it hurts.

He doesn't have much time to dwell on it before Dirk's fist is flying at his face. He hadn't expected that at all, he hadn't had a chance to dodge it. His poor nose is forced to take the hit and he's fairly certain it broke given the amount of blood gushing out of it and the pain he feels. For all the times he'd hit Dirk, he'd never expected him to ever hit him like that. He can't even formulate a response, he can only look downward in a bewildered manner before looking up at Dirk with a suprisingly unintentional but typical puppy dog expression that he's gotten so good at harnessing.

When Dirk yells, he just takes it. The kiss was his last resort, he knows nothing is going to make him stay now. He watches him as he leaves before padding out after him. He doesn't follow him out any further than his bedroom door (which he needs to lean against to brace himself up because that was one hell of a punch.), but he will try one last time to make him stay. Or maybe, he isn't trying, he just can't stand the thought of letting him just leave like that.

"Dirk!" He calls out after him, but he doesn't have anything else to add to it. Any other words are lost in the back of his throat as he watches the other man leave.

So much for feeling comfortable.

It's honestly a good thing that he hasn't looked at Murdoc since throwing the punch, because it's likely he might've felt guilty despite it all. It's true, he hasn't nor has he really intended on hitting Murdoc despite being punched so many times. But that's only because every time it's happened, he's known he's deserved it each one. Murdoc deserved it, though. That he's absolutely sure of and that's what he's focusing on.

When Murdoc calls after him, he doesn't turn around. He can't. And as angry as he is, it hurts not to be able to. It hurts that it's turned into this and that he feels like he can't trust the one person he's been able to trust the most for months now. Even as he walks away, he feels lost and confused and just fucking hurt, and he doesn't know what the fuck to do. "Go to hell," he snaps, despite the hurt. Because he's just so fucking angry even with the sadness.

He's mostly angry at himself, because he feels like he got swept up in something that turned out to be a lie. He hates himself for that. He should've known that it was all too good to be true, that his happiness would be short lived. He just... can't see how they could possibly pull through this with the way Murdoc is acting.

Bro's trying not to think about that, though. Because if he thinks about it, then it's just going to hurt and he doesn't want to hurt in front of Murdoc. That's when the need to get away is just overwhelming and he can't even bother to get his laptop. He can get a fucking new one anyway, he just wants to get out. He turns on the spot, and he manages to get one last look at Murdoc before he does, and that's when he really screws up. Apparition is a delicate thing under the best of circumstances, but when the last thing you get a look at your bleeding (possibly ex) boyfriend, it just makes you lose focus completely.

Which is why he leaves a nice chunk of his shoulder on Murdoc's floor. It's going to hurt like a bitch when he lands, but it's nothing compared to the hurt he's going to feel when this all actually sinks in.

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