sortinghat_logs | Whatcha doin'?

WHO: Murdoc Donoghue and Bro Strider
TONE: Strained, Awkward. Trouble in paradise.
RATING: R for possible mentions of sexy things?
WHEN: Sometime after New years.
WHERE: Greece, Murdoc Manor.
WHAT: Bro visits Murdoc for the Holidays and things turn sour when blood prejudices are brought up.

With the way things are going, Murdoc is pretty damn casual around Dirk now. He doesn't feel obligated to put on airs or even tidy up or dress up for him. It's nice to feel so relaxed around someone, he'd almost forgotten what it was like. Naturally, just because he's under no obligation does not mean Murdoc was going to have his house anything less than flawless on Dirk's arrival. It had been cleaned top to bottom and of course, it didn't matter one bit. Having Dirk in his house seemed so strange, he seemed so out of place in a home that's clearly been lived in by purebloods since it was built.

He didn't feel like it mattered, though. Really, he's just happy Dirk is here at all. Maybe it's because they're at the fiddly point in the relationship where being around each other is important. Or maybe, and this is far more likely, they're both so horribly clingy that a single week feels more like several painful months. Yes, that's more likely. Though neither of them would ever admit it.

It's been a pleasant time already and he feels like maybe, they're both finally adjusting to this. He certainly isn't ready to commit to moving in with the other man, but having him in his house didn't seem like such an unnatural change. Particularly when they're both sprawled on the couch together relaxing by the fire, honestly it's a feeling Murdoc had only read about before. It seems strange to think it, but he's sure he's never felt this comfortable before.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

On the contrary, everything over the past few months has made Murdoc question the beliefs that have been firmly planted in his mind from, well, as long as he can remember. He doesn't think he's ever become this close to a muggleborn in his entire life. Doesn't Dirk understand that he's willing to compromise that?

He follows silently, not wanting to interject until he knows exactly what he's answering here. He's fuming to himself though, because he really doesn't get why Dirk is so angry. However, he's sick to his stomach with worry. He knows where Dirk is going, but he doesn't understand why. Or at least, he doesn't want to understand why. He doesn't want him to leave.

Once Dirk finishes talking, he really doesn't know how to answer. He's already said everything he thinks, repeating himself is just going to make Dirk even angrier.

In quiet desperation, he picks up one of Dirk's shirts, as if holding it hostage while he considers an answer.

"It's always been a thing..hasn't it? I thought you would've known.." By this point he sounds terribly uncertain with himself, but he doesn't understand why. "Please don't leave."

He lets out a frustrated noise when he realizes that Murdoc has his shirt. He's nearly done packing, it's one of the only things left and part of him just wants to say fuck it and not even worry about it, but then Murdoc speaks. His fists clench and for the hundredth time, he just can't believe that this is even happening.

And then Murdoc has the audacity to ask him not to fucking leave, and he just rolls his eyes, because at this point the fucking pity he's trying to get just isn't flying. "When you say shit like that, why the hell not?" he demands, "Because I sure as shit didn't know that. Pardon the fuck out of me for not realizing though, eh? I bet you think that's my fault? Heh." He steps forward and yanks the shirt out of Murdoc's grasp.

"I stupidly thought that you might somehow consider us equals," he said, turning his back on Murdoc to throw the shirt in his bag. "Because I sure as hell did until now."

Well, it looks like that one isn't working. He isn't sure what he's meant to do at this point. He doesn't feel like he needs to apologise, but he doesn't want Dirk to leave. He can't even stand to think about how pathetic and alone he'll feel once he leaves.

He lets him yank the shirt without much of a fight. He doesn't have it in him to be as angry as Dirk, despite starting the fight with his own irritation. His mind is more centered on Dirk leaving right now, that's the priority to him. Even if he has no intention of apologising.

"I never said it was your fault." Because hey, he can at least save himself by correcting Dirk. "It is what it is." To put it simply, anyway. As if you don't choose to be restricted by your prejudices, of course.

He can see that isn't going to work at this point, and he's desperate. So he's going to circle Dirk and make him face him so he can press in for the most pathetic, please don't fucking leave me kiss he can manage to steal from the other man.

He does one sweep around the room to make sure he's gotten everything. If there's anything that could've solidified the decision of leaving, it's Murdoc's next words and he moves towards his bag to slam it closed. He's so angry right now that it's a physical effort not to shake, but he's trying not to. he doesn't want Murdoc to know how effected he is by this. But the truth is he's never been so angry and hurt in recent memory and the fact that Murdoc doesn't seem to care, doesn't seem to get it... that's the hardest part to deal with this.

Because it would be one thing if he did, if he actually seemed apologetic. They could work through it if he did. But Murdoc doesn't fucking care and he doesn't see how they can get through this because he can't just get over this. He just fucking can't.

When Murdoc steps around him, he has to clench his fists to stop himself from doing something like shove him. He doesn't want to look at him, and the last thing he wants to do right now is kiss him, but suddenly Murdoc's lips are on his. For a brief moment, he leans into it on sheer instinct. A part of him wants this to be okay, he wants to just go back to normal and for a very brief moment, he gives into the kiss. But then his mind comes back to him and he pulls away, his lips curling up in disgust.

Before he can even stop himself, he's pulling back his fist and swinging it hard at Murdoc's nose.

"That's all I fuckin' am to you, isn't it?" and it's his turn to yell. "Nothing but a good fuck, because it's really fucking obvious that you have no respect for me beyond that!" His voice is loud and shaky and that's when the hurt finally comes through in his tone. He moves around Murdoc and closes his bag, slinging it over his shoulder before he moves to head for the door. "You are not. fucking better than me."

For that moment, Murdoc thinks it might be okay too. He's eager and he pushes into it as well. He doesn't know how to verbally fix this and he doesn't understand why he needs to apologise, but maybe there's a chance for both of them to fix this without speaking. At least, he hoped so.

However, that was far too good to be true and it's a damn good thing Murdoc can't see Dirk's eyes right now. That disgusted look he's giving him is heart breaking and it pains him to see it from Dirk. He doesn't understand this at all, but it hurts.

He doesn't have much time to dwell on it before Dirk's fist is flying at his face. He hadn't expected that at all, he hadn't had a chance to dodge it. His poor nose is forced to take the hit and he's fairly certain it broke given the amount of blood gushing out of it and the pain he feels. For all the times he'd hit Dirk, he'd never expected him to ever hit him like that. He can't even formulate a response, he can only look downward in a bewildered manner before looking up at Dirk with a suprisingly unintentional but typical puppy dog expression that he's gotten so good at harnessing.

When Dirk yells, he just takes it. The kiss was his last resort, he knows nothing is going to make him stay now. He watches him as he leaves before padding out after him. He doesn't follow him out any further than his bedroom door (which he needs to lean against to brace himself up because that was one hell of a punch.), but he will try one last time to make him stay. Or maybe, he isn't trying, he just can't stand the thought of letting him just leave like that.

"Dirk!" He calls out after him, but he doesn't have anything else to add to it. Any other words are lost in the back of his throat as he watches the other man leave.

So much for feeling comfortable.

It's honestly a good thing that he hasn't looked at Murdoc since throwing the punch, because it's likely he might've felt guilty despite it all. It's true, he hasn't nor has he really intended on hitting Murdoc despite being punched so many times. But that's only because every time it's happened, he's known he's deserved it each one. Murdoc deserved it, though. That he's absolutely sure of and that's what he's focusing on.

When Murdoc calls after him, he doesn't turn around. He can't. And as angry as he is, it hurts not to be able to. It hurts that it's turned into this and that he feels like he can't trust the one person he's been able to trust the most for months now. Even as he walks away, he feels lost and confused and just fucking hurt, and he doesn't know what the fuck to do. "Go to hell," he snaps, despite the hurt. Because he's just so fucking angry even with the sadness.

He's mostly angry at himself, because he feels like he got swept up in something that turned out to be a lie. He hates himself for that. He should've known that it was all too good to be true, that his happiness would be short lived. He just... can't see how they could possibly pull through this with the way Murdoc is acting.

Bro's trying not to think about that, though. Because if he thinks about it, then it's just going to hurt and he doesn't want to hurt in front of Murdoc. That's when the need to get away is just overwhelming and he can't even bother to get his laptop. He can get a fucking new one anyway, he just wants to get out. He turns on the spot, and he manages to get one last look at Murdoc before he does, and that's when he really screws up. Apparition is a delicate thing under the best of circumstances, but when the last thing you get a look at your bleeding (possibly ex) boyfriend, it just makes you lose focus completely.

Which is why he leaves a nice chunk of his shoulder on Murdoc's floor. It's going to hurt like a bitch when he lands, but it's nothing compared to the hurt he's going to feel when this all actually sinks in.

Whatcha doin'?

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject