sortinghat_logs | Hogsmeade Weekend

I wanted to ask you about ... [Gamzee pauses, and his thought process as he searches for the memory is practically visible on his face.] Oh! Shit motherfucker, the hols! What are you doing for Christmas hols, bro?

What I do every Christmas now. Go home to Sal's and not come out of my room unless dragged out or we have to go back to the train. What about you?

You're going to come to mine for a day or two, though, right? [Gamzee sounds a little anxious - he hates going home, he always feels so lonely, and any chance he gets, he tends to invite Karkat over] I have to give you your present.

[He gives Gamzee a long look.]

You really are the dumbest shit that ever shat. You know that, right? Of all the stupidest questions to ask, you ask it to me.

[He shakes his head.]

Of course I'll come over. And you do know you can visit me too. And besides. I've got shit for you to unwrap too.

Bro ... how can a shit, uh, you know, do the shitting, too? [raising his eyebrows, but if he's asking a question like that, then he's not worried about the holidays. The beaming smile says it, too.]

Really? You're going to start picking apart my stupid insults now? Really? This is how you want the conversation to go? Why do I put up with you? You could give a Koala an ulcer.

[He crosses his arms, and gives him a huffy face, but is glad he's not worrying anymore.]

Aw, man, no, those little motyherfuckers are way cute! [pauses, and gets a kind of hesitant expression on his face, rare for Gamzee] Best friend. Can I, uh, ask you about something? Like for your wicked sharp advice?

[Giving him a cautious look, Karkat raises his eyebrows slowly.]

Are you seriously asking if you can ask me a question. Of course you can, idiot. What kind of advice do you want? Because we all know you need a great deal of it.

It's sort of motherfuckin' private. If you know what I mean. [shifting from one foot to the other]

Well, Do you want to go somewhere, and talk about it?

[He picks up his things he's paid for. With Gamzee sounding like he did, Karkat thought against being smart at him.]

[Gamzee nods gratefully, and follows Karkat out of the shop.] I guess it don't matter where, it just seems weird to be talking about it in there. It's, uh, like motherfuckin' romantic advice, 'cause you be knowing the ins and outs of all that shit.

Well at least your smart enough to come to the master.

[He gestures to a low stone wall further down the street where no one was milling about]

We'll sit over there, and then you can get all the obvious knowledge I posses on the subject.

[He starts heading over to the wall in question, sitting on it when he reaches it]

Well, yeah, who else am I gonna be asking except my best friend? [Gamzee straddles the wall like he would a horse, palms flat on the stone in front of him.]

So, see, I'm gonna ask Shinra to come over for a couple of days for the hols. [starts, and that says a lot right there. As Kakrat knows from his visits, Gamzee's father tends to leave the boys alone a lot. He's even gone overnight sometimes, and he certainly doesn't oversee what they do very close. It makes it very, very easy to get in trouble.]

[He raises an eyebrow, then tilts his head.]

If you're leading to what I think you're leading too. Isn't it a little early for that? I mean it's only been a few months hasn't it? Wait. How far have even gone with him? I'm starting to feel incredibly left out all of a sudden. Get me up to date right now.

[Karkat admittedly hates feeling left out of things, and when his best friend is in a seemingly good relationship which he's really happy in and not telling him too much about it makes him a little put out.]

It ain't like there's much to be telling. [admits, cheeks reddening a little] We make out a lot, and I touched his bum a few times, and I guess there's kinda been a little dry humping, but nothing what counts. No clothes been off or anything like that, 'cause there ain't a lot of places to fool around for very long.

[He huffs loudly and crosses his arms.]

Most of that's more than I--

[He pauses.]

That's 'much to be telling' you dick-substitute. Does he want to go further? Or is it just you? Or should I be less than surprised that you haven't even thought to mention going further to him?

Why wouldn't he be wanting it? [Gamzee looks a little confused - he's wanted to do it with Shinra since they got together, and it's hard for him to wrap his mind around the concept that maybe his rampant hormonal desire isn't returned.] He likes make outs!

[Kartkat leans forward and starts rapping on Gamzee's forehead with his knuckles leaning in more pretending to listen.]

Hmm, It sounds like there's something solid in there. Ever think that Shinra isn't a rampant cock hound? Ever think of that? Just because you've made out with most things, doesn't mean he has, or even wants to?

What if he isn't ready?

[He sighs]

Gamzee, Some people are really into meatballs, but last time I checked just enjoying meatballs doesn't mean that someone's immediately going to eat the whole fucking cow a few weeks later.

[starting to look genuinely worried now, rubbing the back of his neck and frowning] I ain't no moobeast, though. How come you think he wouldn't want to? Does he act like maybe he ain't into that? Do you think I done something to fuck it up? Man, maybe I did, maybe I ain't doing things right and he don't want to put out 'cause I'm a crap boyfriend ...

[Blinking he exhales slowly then rests his forehead against Gamzee's, giving him a slight smile.]

Calm down, you're being a hyper active ferret. I'm just saying everyone is different. Sex, surprisingly enough, can be a really emotional thing. You just don't push it.

I haven't heard from anyone what Shinra's thoughts on sex are. Because believe me, that's something I am so unbelievably uninterested in knowing. But all the same, when you invite him over, get out a spare mattress, and make it up for him in case he only wants to go as far as make outs right now. Shinra's no bunny, but cornering him isn't a good boyfriend move.

Okay?

[Nuzzles his forehead]

I know it's got all them emotions floating around sticking to it, it's why I want to do it. [Gamzee protests, then sighs, opening his eyes to peer at Karkat from the scant few inches they're apart. His wild hair tickles against the younger boy's skin as he shifts slightly, nodding, though not enough to dislodge the Gryffindor.]

How do you think I should be asking him? [asks after a long moment of silence] If he's cool with it? I mean, it don't even have to be regular sex, it could just be a handjob or a blowjob or something. But how do I go telling him that, in a way what's super romantic and shit?

[He thinks for a moment.]

Well if he's into the whole idea, he might get the idea when you invite him over for a few days. As long as he's not thicker than pig shit that is.

And, for shit like that, it's not a verbal thing, that's all touched based, when it get's more exciting than just making out then you do testing touches. And not full on groping. You get me?

[It pretty much gets more exciting than just making out for Gamzee almost every time, often leading to having to excuse himself after heavy kissing sessions. And he's not quite sure how to do less than full on groping - he's usually quite friendly with Shinra's bum, when he's allowed.]

No ... [doubtfully] Like testing how?

[Karkat blinks and pulls back making a two inch gap between them.]

You're kidding right? How could you not know? Even I know how to test the waters.

[Admittedly, everything he knows all comes from movies and books. BUT that doesn't make it any less knowing. Let's face it, they wouldn't keep putting the same moves in if they didn't actually work.]

Do you ... poke first? [That's what people did with actual water, right? Poked their toe in? So maybe that was what you did with feeling someone up, too? Like a little warning - incoming crotch squeeze, brace yourself!]

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