sortinghat_logs | Hogsmeade Weekend

[He raises an eyebrow, then tilts his head.]

If you're leading to what I think you're leading too. Isn't it a little early for that? I mean it's only been a few months hasn't it? Wait. How far have even gone with him? I'm starting to feel incredibly left out all of a sudden. Get me up to date right now.

[Karkat admittedly hates feeling left out of things, and when his best friend is in a seemingly good relationship which he's really happy in and not telling him too much about it makes him a little put out.]

It ain't like there's much to be telling. [admits, cheeks reddening a little] We make out a lot, and I touched his bum a few times, and I guess there's kinda been a little dry humping, but nothing what counts. No clothes been off or anything like that, 'cause there ain't a lot of places to fool around for very long.

[He huffs loudly and crosses his arms.]

Most of that's more than I--

[He pauses.]

That's 'much to be telling' you dick-substitute. Does he want to go further? Or is it just you? Or should I be less than surprised that you haven't even thought to mention going further to him?

Why wouldn't he be wanting it? [Gamzee looks a little confused - he's wanted to do it with Shinra since they got together, and it's hard for him to wrap his mind around the concept that maybe his rampant hormonal desire isn't returned.] He likes make outs!

[Kartkat leans forward and starts rapping on Gamzee's forehead with his knuckles leaning in more pretending to listen.]

Hmm, It sounds like there's something solid in there. Ever think that Shinra isn't a rampant cock hound? Ever think of that? Just because you've made out with most things, doesn't mean he has, or even wants to?

What if he isn't ready?

[He sighs]

Gamzee, Some people are really into meatballs, but last time I checked just enjoying meatballs doesn't mean that someone's immediately going to eat the whole fucking cow a few weeks later.

[starting to look genuinely worried now, rubbing the back of his neck and frowning] I ain't no moobeast, though. How come you think he wouldn't want to? Does he act like maybe he ain't into that? Do you think I done something to fuck it up? Man, maybe I did, maybe I ain't doing things right and he don't want to put out 'cause I'm a crap boyfriend ...

[Blinking he exhales slowly then rests his forehead against Gamzee's, giving him a slight smile.]

Calm down, you're being a hyper active ferret. I'm just saying everyone is different. Sex, surprisingly enough, can be a really emotional thing. You just don't push it.

I haven't heard from anyone what Shinra's thoughts on sex are. Because believe me, that's something I am so unbelievably uninterested in knowing. But all the same, when you invite him over, get out a spare mattress, and make it up for him in case he only wants to go as far as make outs right now. Shinra's no bunny, but cornering him isn't a good boyfriend move.

Okay?

[Nuzzles his forehead]

I know it's got all them emotions floating around sticking to it, it's why I want to do it. [Gamzee protests, then sighs, opening his eyes to peer at Karkat from the scant few inches they're apart. His wild hair tickles against the younger boy's skin as he shifts slightly, nodding, though not enough to dislodge the Gryffindor.]

How do you think I should be asking him? [asks after a long moment of silence] If he's cool with it? I mean, it don't even have to be regular sex, it could just be a handjob or a blowjob or something. But how do I go telling him that, in a way what's super romantic and shit?

[He thinks for a moment.]

Well if he's into the whole idea, he might get the idea when you invite him over for a few days. As long as he's not thicker than pig shit that is.

And, for shit like that, it's not a verbal thing, that's all touched based, when it get's more exciting than just making out then you do testing touches. And not full on groping. You get me?

[It pretty much gets more exciting than just making out for Gamzee almost every time, often leading to having to excuse himself after heavy kissing sessions. And he's not quite sure how to do less than full on groping - he's usually quite friendly with Shinra's bum, when he's allowed.]

No ... [doubtfully] Like testing how?

[Karkat blinks and pulls back making a two inch gap between them.]

You're kidding right? How could you not know? Even I know how to test the waters.

[Admittedly, everything he knows all comes from movies and books. BUT that doesn't make it any less knowing. Let's face it, they wouldn't keep putting the same moves in if they didn't actually work.]

Do you ... poke first? [That's what people did with actual water, right? Poked their toe in? So maybe that was what you did with feeling someone up, too? Like a little warning - incoming crotch squeeze, brace yourself!]

Uh? Poke? No. No you don't poke, you just touch and caress their thighs, close to their junk, and slowly get closer. If they stop you then they don't want it right that second. Or chests, chests can be nice for toughing too.

[He assumes.]

So if he doesn't stop me, that means it's all good, it's a motherfuckin' green apple light? [perking up, because Shinra's never told him no on anything before!]

Well, yeah that's what it means.

[He straightens in his seat then pokes at Gamzee]

But if he seems hesitant you have to stop too. Because he might be unsure but not want to upset you. Don't be that guy, nobody likes that guy.

I don't want to be that guy! [Whoever that guy is, Gamzee is a little unsure about this.] But how do I know? I mean ... he kinda smiles about everything.

[With a sigh, Karkat face palms at Gamzee.]

Are you saying you haven't learnt any of his subtle body language at all? You know, those little things that show what you're actually feeling. Like how I always know what you're think, in those rare moments you actually manage to conceive a thought. And those little things I do that let you know what I'm thinking?

Well, yeah, but ... I don't know, it's kind of weird. Like I can tell when he's bothered about something. But I don't know about the whole making out and sex thing, because he's all into it when we do it, I'm pretty sure! But now maybe I'm thinking he isn't, so ... I just ain't got the knowing if I'll do this right. [worriedly]

Well then maybe he is into it then. But then, you're both teenage boys and they're the horniest things on this planet so far as I know. Not even rabbits try to do it as much.

Look, I didn't plan on getting you unsure of everything. Just talk it out with him then. Maybe then you'll know for sure and then I wouldn't be vaguely screwing up your own thought process, which I should know by now is a really easy thing to do.

[He pats his knee reassuringly.]

So you think it's okay? [Gamzee looks at him hopefully.]

Yeah, Gamzee I think it should be okay. But if you do get unsure. Talk to him.

Fuck, you can even call me for more advise.

[There's a pause and then he points at him.]

Do not call me just before, during or just after! It's bad enough I know you want to do it.

Man, that's kinda bad motherfuckin' sex if I gotta be calling anyone in the middle of it. [ ... grins, then] Hey, you'd want to be doing it, too, if you had you a sweet little motherfucker like Shinra!

Or it's you and you get so excited about doing it you just have to tell me right in the middle of it that you're doing it and how much you like it. Besides, I've heard the first time is never good anyw-

[His mind catches up to the last part of what his best friend had said. He huffs at him and swats at him.]

I don't even have a type, jackass. And no matter how theoretically 'motherfucking sweet' who ever is fortuitous enough to have me as their partner. There wouldn't be anything like that going on until we were both ready for it and it was all romantically planned out.

[Gamzee just takes the swat with his usual mellow smile.] Yeah, I know you'd probably set it up all perfect and shit, with flowers and candles and all that stuff like what's in the movies. But you'd be wanting to before then, I bet. [waggles his eyebrows]

[Gives him a pouting scowl]

You're a lewd piece of shit, and I can't stand you sometimes. This is one of those times.

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