SWIMMINGGEDDON.

[wwistful]

WHO: Murdoc Donoghue and YOU
TONE: Fun, WHIMSICAL, horrifying
RATING: PG-13 and onward
WHEN: September 7th
WHERE:  The Lake.
WHAT:  After this Murdoc realised the children (and staff) of Hogwarts were in dire need of swimming lessons.
STATUS: Ongoing

[GATHER AROUND CHILDREN it's a warm summer day and the lake is perfect for diving into your sudden but inevitable deaths. You should all be dressed in your swimming trunks (which you clearly have don't even lie) because Murdoc sure is. He's determined to conduct this in the best manner he can, though he wasn't quite expecting the turn out to be so large. People who can swim are welcome to become his assistants because he could probably use the help.]

Comments

[wwistful]

That's a disappointment.

[He scrunces his mouth, watching carefully. He feels a hell of a lot like a little fish right now. The temptation to turn into his animagus form is so very high. Though he doubts much good would come of him being an actual shark.]

Yes, very impressive. Is that all you want to know?

[grandhighwizard]

[Oh, Murdoc, if you do, Rhys is going to be that much more interested in you.]

Is that proper swimming, then?

[wwistful]

[All the more reason not to, really.]

That's one way of doin' it, yes. If you can stop yourself from drownin' then that's probably all you'll ever need to know.

[grandhighwizard]

I though there'd be more to it. How terribly disappointing.

[wwistful]

Well. There's different KINDS of swimmin'. But you only need to know one kind. And you do. So it's not my problem anymore.

[grandhighwizard]

It wasn't your problem in the first place. [grins]

[wwistful]

You are nothin' but a problem, don't lie. [He rolls his eyes.]
Did you really need to know anything else or can I trust you to survive any attempts to drown you in a large body of water?

[grandhighwizard]

I think I'll be all right. Thank you, Donoghue. [inclines his head ... and then starts swimming for the shore. Not on his back.]

[wwistful]

[Murdoc is going to stare, flabbergasted for a long moment. He's not dumb, he knows he's swimming far too well for a beginner.

Silently, he sinks down into the lake and changes forms. You aren't the only one who can be petty, Rhys. He's going to coast after you until his dorsal fin is apparent.]

[higherthaneverybody]

[ ... there are no sharks in the lake, Rhys is very, very sure of that. He pulls up in the water, drawing his wand from shorts in one swift motion and glancing around quickly for Murdoc. Who is nowhere in sight so it seems likely the man has something to do with this shark ... some kind of summoning? Transfiguration?

All these thoughts run through his head in the background, not one whit impeding his action as he points his wand and shoots a stunning spell at the beast.]

[wwistful]

[There might be! Maybe Rhys just doesn't understand the delicate eco system of the lake, or maybe Murdoc did something stupid. Not to worry.

Or maybe he should worry-- what the fuck was that. It causes him to writhe, rather pathetically at that, and sink a bit in the water. Thankfully, it's shallow. So he's just going to dead eye Rhys from the bank.]

[higherthaneverybody]

[As the shark sinks, Rhys strides through the water back towards it, wand at the ready. When there is no attacking lunge, he stoops, gets his arms around the big fish, and starts hauling it back toward the bank, determined to discover its origins.]

[wwistful]

[Unfortunately Murdoc is now rendered entirely useless. He can't even thrash about and make Rhys' life hard and that upsets him so very much. However, as a sort of delayed reaction, he slips out of his shark form and back into his human form.

He is now back to his grumpy looking self, though he is very much unconscious.]

[higherthaneverybody]

[Oh, hmm! Now that is interesting - Rhys hadn't known one of his fellow teachers was an animagus. He threw the other man over his shoulder after the shift from large marine predator to unconscious man was made, and strode up the bank to a patch of dry grass to put Mrudoc down. He can't stop grinning as he examines the smaller man, thinking this had been entirely worth the trick to find out.

After neatly divesting Murdoc of his wand (he has no intention of getting cursed the moment the other man wakes), he touches his own lightly to the man's temple, and murmurs the counterspell] Enneverate.

[wwistful]

[Murdoc can't object to being thrown about like this, obviously. Were he awake, he would be kicking and punching like a child throwing a tantrum. Perhaps it would be better if he stayed out of it, being revived is nothing but embarrassing for the poor man.

And yet he is, thanks to Rhys. He's quick to swing up into a sitting position, huffing as the shock of it all wears off. That's when he gives Rhys the most aggravated look he can muster in his surprised state.]

You're a damn liar, Rhydderch!

[higherthaneverybody]

You've called me that before. Why look so shocked about it now? [dismissively] More importantly, you're an animagus. How long have you been able to do that?

... did you first change on land?

[wwistful]

You're the one always actin' like it's unfounded. [He runs a hand through his hair before wiping tiredly at his face.] See if I ever trust a single word out of your mouth again.

I've been doin' it since it was none of your damn business.

[higherthaneverybody]

You never trusted it before, so very little change there. I suppose you must be registered, there would be a time frame there, I imagine. [a thought occurs to him, and he grins] What did you think you were going to do, when you changed? Bite me?

[wwistful]

There was always the small glimmer of hope that you were a poor and misunderstood man. But no. You're an arse.

[He rolls his eyes, ignoring Rhys' final question entirely.] Of course I'm registered. It was somethin' I worked on a little after I'd finished my trainin'.

[higherthaneverybody]

Has it been very useful? I mean, other than in your incarnation as a pirate?

[wwistful]

It does when I'm faced with water based missions, but there are plenty of other opportunities to use it to my advantage.

[Ignoring that.]

[higherthaneverybody]

Many Dark wizards living in the sea? [amused, but he is also genuinely curious, because he's never heard of anyone doing that]

[wwistful]

They don't live in the sea, smartarse. But it isn't as if they actively avoid it.

[higherthaneverybody]

I can't say as it's an animal that much suits you. [thoughtfully]

[wwistful]

[He raises an eyebrow, genuinely curious for once.] What makes you say that?