SWIMMINGGEDDON.

[wwistful]

WHO: Murdoc Donoghue and YOU
TONE: Fun, WHIMSICAL, horrifying
RATING: PG-13 and onward
WHEN: September 7th
WHERE:  The Lake.
WHAT:  After this Murdoc realised the children (and staff) of Hogwarts were in dire need of swimming lessons.
STATUS: Ongoing

[GATHER AROUND CHILDREN it's a warm summer day and the lake is perfect for diving into your sudden but inevitable deaths. You should all be dressed in your swimming trunks (which you clearly have don't even lie) because Murdoc sure is. He's determined to conduct this in the best manner he can, though he wasn't quite expecting the turn out to be so large. People who can swim are welcome to become his assistants because he could probably use the help.]

Comments

[wwistful]

[Murdoc returns the raised eyebrow and matches it, his face bland and expressionless until the moment Rhys is looking away. Then he's going to bring his hands up to his face and shake his head furiously before letting his hands slide back down, staring at Rhys.]

You seem awfully adept at this.

[grandhighwizard]

I am, aren't I? [smirking, and then going on before Murdoc can answer] Oh, you mean floating? Yes, it's not difficult. It's the actual swimming I can't do.

[wwistful]

[Yeah, he's not letting that one slide.]

I don't know what you meant, but I meant that you seem fairly ...at ease in the water, considerin' the fact that you can't swim.

[He sighs. Loudly.] Now. Err. If you want to actually move you might want to consider moving your arms back through the water and kickin' your legs.

[grandhighwizard]

I'm not afraid of it, if that's what you mean. It's hardly deep enough here to be a worry, is it?

[letting himself float a bit more, Rhys starts kicking his legs, but keeps his arms out, which isn't very effective (which is the point, of course, he doesn't want to seem too adept), then starts moving his arms at the top surface of the water, from shoulder to hips, which is a little better, but still not the best way to try and swim on one's back]

[wwistful]

Seems like a fairly rational train of thought for someone who has gone nearly hundreds of years without learnin' in the first place.

[He coasts through that sentence without so much as a change in pitch when he makes the remark in regards to the other man's age.

He watches for a moment before he tuts at the the other man.]

You're movin' your arms wrong. You won't go anywhere fast like that. Watch me. [He clicks his fingers for his attention before he cycles his arm through the air.] Like this, see?

[grandhighwizard]

It's terribly amusing, how you seem to think exaggerating my age is some sort of insult. [Rhys says cheerfully, watching how the other man's arms move. It's a little differently than how he normally swims, so he does his best to imitate Murdoc's movements, propelling himself through the water a little more effectively than he'd managed before.]

[wwistful]

It's irritatin' that nothin' seems to bother you whatsoever. Where do you get off bein' so serene?

[He scowls, watching the other man move through the water.] Better. Remember to kick your legs.

[grandhighwizard]

Oh, plenty of things bother me. [Rhys admits with a lazy smile, as he starts to kick, stroking in a languid circle around the other man in a manner that nevertheless is reminiscent of a shark circling a spot where it's smelled blood in the water.] Just nothing you could say.

[wwistful]

That's a disappointment.

[He scrunces his mouth, watching carefully. He feels a hell of a lot like a little fish right now. The temptation to turn into his animagus form is so very high. Though he doubts much good would come of him being an actual shark.]

Yes, very impressive. Is that all you want to know?

[grandhighwizard]

[Oh, Murdoc, if you do, Rhys is going to be that much more interested in you.]

Is that proper swimming, then?

[wwistful]

[All the more reason not to, really.]

That's one way of doin' it, yes. If you can stop yourself from drownin' then that's probably all you'll ever need to know.

[grandhighwizard]

I though there'd be more to it. How terribly disappointing.

[wwistful]

Well. There's different KINDS of swimmin'. But you only need to know one kind. And you do. So it's not my problem anymore.

[grandhighwizard]

It wasn't your problem in the first place. [grins]

[wwistful]

You are nothin' but a problem, don't lie. [He rolls his eyes.]
Did you really need to know anything else or can I trust you to survive any attempts to drown you in a large body of water?

[grandhighwizard]

I think I'll be all right. Thank you, Donoghue. [inclines his head ... and then starts swimming for the shore. Not on his back.]

[wwistful]

[Murdoc is going to stare, flabbergasted for a long moment. He's not dumb, he knows he's swimming far too well for a beginner.

Silently, he sinks down into the lake and changes forms. You aren't the only one who can be petty, Rhys. He's going to coast after you until his dorsal fin is apparent.]

[higherthaneverybody]

[ ... there are no sharks in the lake, Rhys is very, very sure of that. He pulls up in the water, drawing his wand from shorts in one swift motion and glancing around quickly for Murdoc. Who is nowhere in sight so it seems likely the man has something to do with this shark ... some kind of summoning? Transfiguration?

All these thoughts run through his head in the background, not one whit impeding his action as he points his wand and shoots a stunning spell at the beast.]

[wwistful]

[There might be! Maybe Rhys just doesn't understand the delicate eco system of the lake, or maybe Murdoc did something stupid. Not to worry.

Or maybe he should worry-- what the fuck was that. It causes him to writhe, rather pathetically at that, and sink a bit in the water. Thankfully, it's shallow. So he's just going to dead eye Rhys from the bank.]

[higherthaneverybody]

[As the shark sinks, Rhys strides through the water back towards it, wand at the ready. When there is no attacking lunge, he stoops, gets his arms around the big fish, and starts hauling it back toward the bank, determined to discover its origins.]

[wwistful]

[Unfortunately Murdoc is now rendered entirely useless. He can't even thrash about and make Rhys' life hard and that upsets him so very much. However, as a sort of delayed reaction, he slips out of his shark form and back into his human form.

He is now back to his grumpy looking self, though he is very much unconscious.]

[higherthaneverybody]

[Oh, hmm! Now that is interesting - Rhys hadn't known one of his fellow teachers was an animagus. He threw the other man over his shoulder after the shift from large marine predator to unconscious man was made, and strode up the bank to a patch of dry grass to put Mrudoc down. He can't stop grinning as he examines the smaller man, thinking this had been entirely worth the trick to find out.

After neatly divesting Murdoc of his wand (he has no intention of getting cursed the moment the other man wakes), he touches his own lightly to the man's temple, and murmurs the counterspell] Enneverate.

[wwistful]

[Murdoc can't object to being thrown about like this, obviously. Were he awake, he would be kicking and punching like a child throwing a tantrum. Perhaps it would be better if he stayed out of it, being revived is nothing but embarrassing for the poor man.

And yet he is, thanks to Rhys. He's quick to swing up into a sitting position, huffing as the shock of it all wears off. That's when he gives Rhys the most aggravated look he can muster in his surprised state.]

You're a damn liar, Rhydderch!

[higherthaneverybody]

You've called me that before. Why look so shocked about it now? [dismissively] More importantly, you're an animagus. How long have you been able to do that?

... did you first change on land?

[wwistful]

You're the one always actin' like it's unfounded. [He runs a hand through his hair before wiping tiredly at his face.] See if I ever trust a single word out of your mouth again.

I've been doin' it since it was none of your damn business.