SWIMMINGGEDDON.

[wwistful]

WHO: Murdoc Donoghue and YOU
TONE: Fun, WHIMSICAL, horrifying
RATING: PG-13 and onward
WHEN: September 7th
WHERE:  The Lake.
WHAT:  After this Murdoc realised the children (and staff) of Hogwarts were in dire need of swimming lessons.
STATUS: Ongoing

[GATHER AROUND CHILDREN it's a warm summer day and the lake is perfect for diving into your sudden but inevitable deaths. You should all be dressed in your swimming trunks (which you clearly have don't even lie) because Murdoc sure is. He's determined to conduct this in the best manner he can, though he wasn't quite expecting the turn out to be so large. People who can swim are welcome to become his assistants because he could probably use the help.]

Comments

[wwistful]

You're welcome.

[He's going to trail after him.] This is a back stroke. Remember timin', you'll go faster if you can keep your arms in time with each other.

[givesyouaboner]

_{[This makes a lot of sense. Dirk tries to do exactly that. Once he gets a rhythm going, it's easy to get his arms moving in sync. Trying to get his legs to kick at the same time is a challenge for some reason.]}

I feel like a drowning fish.

[wwistful]

Fish tend to be more elegant in water. [SMIRK.] Would you like to practise another stroke?

[givesyouaboner]

Not if the fish is on land.

What other one could I do?

[wwistful]

Then you're not doin' a terribly good impersonation of a drownin' fish in here.

If you roll onto your belly I can teach you the breast stroke. [Don't you dare laugh.]

[givesyouaboner]

I hope you don't hold it against me for not being able to do an accurate portrayal.

_{[Don't worry, this one went over his head. He rolls and the sudden change has him flailing his arms dumbly in effort to keep his chin above water.]}

Like a chicken breast? Why is it called this?

[wwistful]

I'll keep that in mind.

[He's just watching, making sure he doesn't drown.]


Paddle your arms again. Like you were before. Keep your head on its side so you can breathe.

[givesyouaboner]

<sub>[It's weird, because somehow he's keeping up well enough and not just sinking to the bottom of the lake. He isn't used to the idea of his ears and his hair getting wet outside of the shower and maybe this is silly, but it's something he's thinking about now.

But it is easier to breathe this way, so he's able to discard the feeling and just try moving his arms again. Getting a rhythm is difficult, but he's trying nonetheless.]</sub>

Am I doing it right?

[wwistful]

[Murdoc is getting an odd sense of pride from this. Mostly because it's not every day he sees the results of his teaching so clearly.]

You are. Keep workin' at it and you'll get better at it.

[givesyouaboner]

_{[He keeps trying. Sometimes he sinks, but that only makes him try even harder. After a while, he just stops and floats. A little break is needed.]}

If I was in the ocean, would I look like a dying seal?

[wwistful]

You're too skinny to be a seal, no shark would be interested in takin' a bite, that's for sure.

[givesyouaboner]

Okay, that's good. I'll never let myself get fatter so I won't ever be mistaken for one.

[wwistful]

You're goin' to grow bigger eventually, you know.

[givesyouaboner]

How do you know I don't have some sort of genetic anomaly that would make me small forever?

[wwistful]

I'm sure someone would have told me. Besides, there are spells to make you bigger.

where gona get this log to 1k

[givesyouaboner]

They wouldn't tell you if they didn't know either! Magic'ing me into a bigger size isn't natural, Prof.

where makin it hapen

[wwistful]

Your cousin and your uncle grew up fine, I'm sure you'll follow suit.

[givesyouaboner]

I hope so. Maybe one day I'll grow up and be really tall like Uncle Dirk.

[wwistful]

[Staring.] He isn't particularly tall, you know. [Oops, Murdoc is taller.]

[givesyouaboner]

_{[Staring back.]}

He seems plenty tall to me.

[wwistful]

He's shorter than a good deal of the staff.

[He nods knowingly.]

[givesyouaboner]

He's taller than a lot of people too.

[wwistful]

A lot of people are younger than him.

[givesyouaboner]

True, but I'm specifically talking about adults. Once you hit a certain age, it has no bearing on your height.

[wwistful]

I suppose so. We're all dwarfed under that oaf of a potions teacher, in any case.