SWIMMINGGEDDON.

[wwistful]

WHO: Murdoc Donoghue and YOU
TONE: Fun, WHIMSICAL, horrifying
RATING: PG-13 and onward
WHEN: September 7th
WHERE:  The Lake.
WHAT:  After this Murdoc realised the children (and staff) of Hogwarts were in dire need of swimming lessons.
STATUS: Ongoing

[GATHER AROUND CHILDREN it's a warm summer day and the lake is perfect for diving into your sudden but inevitable deaths. You should all be dressed in your swimming trunks (which you clearly have don't even lie) because Murdoc sure is. He's determined to conduct this in the best manner he can, though he wasn't quite expecting the turn out to be so large. People who can swim are welcome to become his assistants because he could probably use the help.]

Comments

[wwhatevver]

[He's skeptical...]

...

[Slowly handing it over.]

[wwistful]

[Eridan you are a dumb. Murdoc takes his wand and gives it a flick.]

Accio Eridan's glasses. [And sure enough, they come flying into the room and Murdoc catches them, inspecting the damage.]

Easily fixed.

[wwhatevver]

[He's just gonna... slowly put a hand to his face.


Dear lord is he a dumbass of the highest caliber right now.]

I wasn't ewen thinkin'... Ugh. Sorry.

[wwistful]

I'll assume you sustained some head injuries.

[Tapping the glasses.] Oculus Reparo.

[wwhatevver]

Yeah she did kick me a few times one of those kicks probably ran right into my head or somethin' haha...

[Just... watching and still getting fussed over.]

[wwistful]

And you don't want me to discuss it with her? At all?

[He folds his glasses, placing them on the side table as the nurses fuss over him.]</small

[wwhatevver]

Why not just... take my word for it?

[He's already tired of being fussed at enough. Nurses and their fussing.]

[wwistful]

Why not just give me some form of solution so I don't have to stand here and feel useless? I might be your father but I sure as hell can't allow either of you to get away with fightin'.

[wwhatevver]

[Okay, he sits up a bit, there's something that stuck out that he's going to just dive into.]

W-wait wait a... wait a second. [He points a finger.] You feel useless? You didn't just get your ass kicked.

[wwistful]

No. I didn't. I was out there [GESTURING.] fussin' with other kids while you were off pickin' fights with half blind girls!

[wwhatevver]

[Oop, balling his fists into the sheets now.] I wasn't pickin' any god damned fight with her!

[wwistful]

I find that very hard to believe, Eridan.

[Oh lord the nurses are shuffling off now.]

It's pretty damn obvious you aren't telling me the whole story! So you tell me now or I will be talkin' to her whether you like it or not.

[wwhatevver]

How is that hard to beliewe?! I'we been tryin' to ignore her for as long as I could! Do you really think I'm just goin' to try to beat the crap outta her?!

[Oh good because it's about to get angry.]

You wanna know the whole story?! I'll tell you the whole damned story! She ran into me, I told her to watch out, she got all defensiwe about it and was gettin' all threatenin' an' askin' me what I said and I told her what I said again and then she proceeded to grab my shirt and beat on me! And I mean, goodness if I didn't try to defend myself but she fights dirty! The next thing I know I'm hawin' Professor Matteris pickin' me up off the ground and keepin' her away from me and I'm freakin' out because I don't know if I'm goin' to get in trouble or not and I ended... up. Sorta. Boltin' for here as soon as I could.

[He's still... leaving out one key detail though. But he's not going to admit that he's purposely leaving that one detail.]

[wwistful]

You haven't seen her for MONTHS, Eridan. It's the first week back, do not pull that on me.

[He shakes his head.]

I'm talkin' to her an' I'm talkin' to Sybi- Professor Matteris because one of you clearly has a problem. Or maybe both of you! [He throws his arms up in frustration before rubbing his face tiredly.]

[wwhatevver]

Just because I hawen't seen her in months doesn't mean that I still can't awoid her.

[He lowers himself down in the bed, crossing his arms and looking away.]

I cannot beliewe this crap.

[wwistful]

That implies that you had so little self restraint that you fought as soon as you laid eyes on each other.

[He steps forward toward the bed, perching on the edge of it.] If she's harrassin' you, I need to know.

[wwhatevver]

The only reason I fought back was because I wasn't just gonna let her beat on me.

[In which he turns away slightly.]

She's harassed me for the better part of four years. It's progressiwely gotten worse as the years passed, I'we told you this before.

[wwistful]

[He puts a man paw on his shoulder, changing his stern look for something sympathetic.]

I'll fix it.

[wwhatevver]

[He simply blinks at the man paw to his shoulder, happy that he's at least getting used to these things now. He seems to frown deeper as Murdoc told him that, wanting to just shout "noooo...". He didn't want to be known as the one who went to Daaaaaddy to fix all of his prooooblems~~~ He wanted to tell him that so fucking bad that he can handle it on his own.

But he holds that back, looking back away with a sort of pained look.]

... Thanks.

[wwistful]

[On some level, he knows that. He knows Eridan will feel like that, but he can't let this slide. If he doesn't handle it, he's letting his son get away with bad behaviour. If he does, he's babying him.

He can't win.]

I hope you know that means I'll be talking to Vriska.

[allisnotlost]

[Groan.]

Yes. Yes I know that.

[wwistful]

I'm glad you understand. [He reaches out to ruffle his hair.]