SWIMMINGGEDDON.

[wwistful]

WHO: Murdoc Donoghue and YOU
TONE: Fun, WHIMSICAL, horrifying
RATING: PG-13 and onward
WHEN: September 7th
WHERE:  The Lake.
WHAT:  After this Murdoc realised the children (and staff) of Hogwarts were in dire need of swimming lessons.
STATUS: Ongoing

[GATHER AROUND CHILDREN it's a warm summer day and the lake is perfect for diving into your sudden but inevitable deaths. You should all be dressed in your swimming trunks (which you clearly have don't even lie) because Murdoc sure is. He's determined to conduct this in the best manner he can, though he wasn't quite expecting the turn out to be so large. People who can swim are welcome to become his assistants because he could probably use the help.]

Comments

[rule_britannia]

As have I, but I think that the people who have said that to me have far different views on what 'fun' is than I do.

[doctorkishitani]

Perhaps. But their views may still be valid.

[He frowns contemplatively as he continues to observe the swimmers]

Or they might be more valid if this didn't involve the risk of drowning.

[rule_britannia]

I'm not discounting their views, but I'm not going to agree with them.

[He snorts quietly]

That's exactly what I thought.

[doctorkishitani]

I don't think I'm prepared to agree with them either. Not just yet.

[He turns to face Arthur, smiling inquisitively]

Do you think anything would make the risk worthwhile?

[rule_britannia]

Not as far as I'm concerned.

[Arthur doesn't swim. Not now, not ever]

[doctorkishitani]

Are you sure?

I'm certainly not planning on swimming any time in the near future, but I think that in any case, there's always at least one exception.

[rule_britannia]

The only exception will be if someone bodily throws me into the lake at a depth where I'm forced to swim.

[Or attempt to, anyway]

[doctorkishitani]

I suppose you wouldn't have much of a choice in that case. I'd probably just end up drowning if that happened to me. I don't think we're able to swim instinctively once we reach a certain age.

[rule_britannia]

I don't much relish the idea of drowning, but it'd probably be inevitable for me as well.

[doctorkishitani]

[He looks up at Arthur, smiling inquisitively]

Can you not swim either?

[rule_britannia]

[... Ugh]

No, I can't.