SWIMMINGGEDDON.

[wwistful]

WHO: Murdoc Donoghue and YOU
TONE: Fun, WHIMSICAL, horrifying
RATING: PG-13 and onward
WHEN: September 7th
WHERE:  The Lake.
WHAT:  After this Murdoc realised the children (and staff) of Hogwarts were in dire need of swimming lessons.
STATUS: Ongoing

[GATHER AROUND CHILDREN it's a warm summer day and the lake is perfect for diving into your sudden but inevitable deaths. You should all be dressed in your swimming trunks (which you clearly have don't even lie) because Murdoc sure is. He's determined to conduct this in the best manner he can, though he wasn't quite expecting the turn out to be so large. People who can swim are welcome to become his assistants because he could probably use the help.]

Comments

assuming this is before Eq gets to the naughty bits of the book for sanity's sake

[strongjumps]

[ Oh, Vantas. Equius spots the boy with little difficulty, and can't resist the urge to go make him miserable. With as loud as he is, it's shocking that the boy's not floundering about in the water in an attempt to show off. So, as Equius gets within a few feet of Karkat, culminating in the two standing right next to each other, he's going to just kind of chuckle. Obviously directed right at Karkat. ]

Are you scared?

lolol mood whiplash

[selfhatred]

[Karkat didn't notice Equius's approach until he was right next to him. The chuckle makes him jump and scramble to readjust himself so he doesn't look like a total goober.]

N-no! Jesus fucking Christ, Zahhak, don't sneak up on me like that!

pffff inorite

[strongjumps]

[ That chuckle's going to get a bit more derisive and insulting. ]

Then why aren't you swimming?

hee

[selfhatred]

[He's just going to glower, but that sure is a humiliated blush crossing his cheeks. It was one thing telling Aranea he didn't know how to swim, he sure as hell wasn't telling this guy.]

What business is it of yours anyway? Don't you have towels to go sweat on?

[strongjumps]

Crude.

[ Equius glares daggers at Karkat for the sweat comment, but tries not to let his irritation show this readily. ]

The only towels I plan on using today are after I go swimming.

[ And he looks kind of smug right now. ]

I was only asking because I was wondering how badly I would upstage you.

[selfhatred]

I'm just waiting for everyone to clear the field. They don't want to be in the lake when I get in.

[He waves a hand nonchalantly, trying to at least pull off being proud of being a swimmer when in fact he wasn't one.]

Though I guess I won't be getting in after you stink up the water so I'll be going now.

[strongjumps]

Are you going to soil yourself when you get in the water, Vantas?

[ Equius's face contorts into a look of complete and utter revulsion. ]

What do you mean, you'll be "going"? Are you making a fool of yourself by getting in the water or by leaving without even trying?

[ Slight ambiguities sure do suck when the other person is picking apart everything you say like a sweaty vulture. He completely ignores the stink comment though, because he's not going to dignify that with a response. ]

[selfhatred]

[Karkat kind of splutters for a moment before regaining his composure, lips tugging downwards in disgust.]

What the Hell are you even talking about? By "going" I mean I'm absconding the fuck out of here! What the fuck did you think I meant?

[strongjumps]

So you are going to leave the lake entirely. I thought you meant that you were going to go swimming now, before I can get into the water.

[ He smirks, breaking the momentary silence with a bit of a chuckle. ]

It is good to know that you are as cowardly as ever.

[selfhatred]

[Nope. Not putting up with this. He sneers as he crosses his arms over his chest.]

I bet you were hoping I'd be doing some kind of water sports in the lake, weren't you? I guess that kind of kink makes sense for someone who sweats a lot.