SWIMMINGGEDDON.

[wwistful]

WHO: Murdoc Donoghue and YOU
TONE: Fun, WHIMSICAL, horrifying
RATING: PG-13 and onward
WHEN: September 7th
WHERE:  The Lake.
WHAT:  After this Murdoc realised the children (and staff) of Hogwarts were in dire need of swimming lessons.
STATUS: Ongoing

[GATHER AROUND CHILDREN it's a warm summer day and the lake is perfect for diving into your sudden but inevitable deaths. You should all be dressed in your swimming trunks (which you clearly have don't even lie) because Murdoc sure is. He's determined to conduct this in the best manner he can, though he wasn't quite expecting the turn out to be so large. People who can swim are welcome to become his assistants because he could probably use the help.]

Comments

[taleweaving]

[Rude.

And she can't run, not in a swimsuit Maxim. So she'll just shout back, grabbing the first thought to come to mind]

If... If you don't come back it's 5 points from Hufflepuff!

[moveslikejaeger]

Dot's not effen my hause!

[But he's definitely not going anywhere. Van would probably kill him if he found out Maxim lost points from Hufflepuff instead of Gryffindor]

Wow I am dumb why did I think he was a puff!!!

[taleweaving]

[Blame her shattered brain] Gryffindor then!

[Gunna wait here, having stomped back to the shore and pulled her towel around her waist] You can't go around doing that to girls, or boys Maxim. Some people are very wary of touch, and don't want their space invaded without their permission. It's quite rude.

Maybe because he's always hanging with them?

[moveslikejaeger]

Oh, vell, dot's h'okay den. [He doesn't care much if he loses points from his own house.]

Iz a compliment! Hyu haz a nize, plush rump! Iz verra goot for grabbink!

Yes and brain dead.

[taleweaving]

You shouldn't be so accepting of loosing points from your house. [Frowny face]

While you might me that as a compliment, that doesn't make it okay Maxim. It's my behind, and you touching it without my consent isn't right. You need to ask before you do things.

[moveslikejaeger]

Vhy not? Karkat vill chust kees teachers'z arsez und make up for it later. [He's referring to the masturbation incident and the other Gryffindor telling Professor Peixes how he'd told Gamzee off]

Zo, if Hy ask hyu vould let me touch hyu butt?

[taleweaving]

Don't be rude. And Karkat had the correct idea. Gamzee's journal post wasn't proper content. Karkat was meaning the very best by telling Gamzee that he had made the wrong choice. [Stick up for the goody guys]

...I suppose I would ask why it's so fascinating to you first? It's just... a behind.

[moveslikejaeger]

[EYEROLLING]

[Followed by a blank stare] Yah gorly, und vhat hyu tink boys tink about vhen dey do dose oh-zo-inappropriate tings, hmm?

[taleweaving]

[She's not following. For once she's actually not following Maxim's train of thought and all he gets is a confused stare]

What do they think about when they... masturbate? What?

[moveslikejaeger]

BOOBS UND BUTTS!

[GRIN]

[taleweaving]

Oh.

[Tiny flush]

Yes, well, I suppose those who identify with the slightest bit of heterosexuality would think about those things. That doesn't understand why you feel a need to touch mind. [And the blush grows darker]

[moveslikejaeger]

[And the grin becomes a leer, his eyebrow waggling out of control]

Becauze iz a nize, plush, juicy rump, chust ripe for de pickin'~

Und de pushin'. [He adds, rocking his hips forward rhythmically. Unff unff unff]

[taleweaving]

[Flushing darker]

Maxim, you're being inappropriate again. [And don't you have a boyfriend what]

[moveslikejaeger]

Hy iz ALVAYS inappropriate! [he sighs melodramatically, flinging his hands into the air.]

[Technically? He really has no idea what's going on with Van anymore]

[taleweaving]

Sometimes you manage to be sweet, and not inappropriate. [Giving her a look]

[Teen relationship drama yay]

[moveslikejaeger]

Yah, und look vhat heppend de last time Hy tried dot! Rapunzel fell in luff vit me und Hy broke her heart! Iz not vorth it!

[taleweaving]

Maxim... just because that happened doesn't mean you stop being sweet and go back to merely being inappropriate. The heart is a fickle thing, no one can help whom it falls in love with. And I know you didn't mean to hurt her, right?

[moveslikejaeger]

[He's just gonna glower at her]

No, but iz not like effryvun elze ain't actink like iz my fault. Zo vhat do Hy know? Nottink, obviously.

[taleweaving]

[She'll just frown back]

...What happened then. If you think I know nothing, enlighten me. [She is very busy and doesn't have a ball of time for most gossip]

[moveslikejaeger]

NOPE NOT GONNA TOK 'BOUT IT.

[Not if he has to practically shout it across the way, that's for sure. And he is not about to go over there just to get scolded. She wants to yell at him, she has to work for it]