SWIMMINGGEDDON.

[wwistful]

WHO: Murdoc Donoghue and YOU
TONE: Fun, WHIMSICAL, horrifying
RATING: PG-13 and onward
WHEN: September 7th
WHERE:  The Lake.
WHAT:  After this Murdoc realised the children (and staff) of Hogwarts were in dire need of swimming lessons.
STATUS: Ongoing

[GATHER AROUND CHILDREN it's a warm summer day and the lake is perfect for diving into your sudden but inevitable deaths. You should all be dressed in your swimming trunks (which you clearly have don't even lie) because Murdoc sure is. He's determined to conduct this in the best manner he can, though he wasn't quite expecting the turn out to be so large. People who can swim are welcome to become his assistants because he could probably use the help.]

Comments

[preanimator]

[Herbert has made a very horrifying discovery over the summer: he is no longer completely immune to the lures of the human body as anything other than a subject for experimentation. Even more awful, this sudden and humiliating ability to be attracted to others seems to have settled squarely on the male gender.

Thus he is out by the lake, trying desperately to pretend he isn't watching the various boys (and one quite fine specimen of a man) splashing around in the water in very little clothing. Thick glasses help, as does the huge book he has in his lap - he's just doing homework. Really. HONEST.]

[wwistful]

[In a display of wonderful timing, Murdoc is going to paddle to the side of the lake and pull himself up onto land. He doesn't seem bothered by the fact that he's dripping wet, it's warm and he'll be jumping back in any time now.

He steps back, stretching and enjoying the warmth of the sun before he noticed the boy sitting nearby with his book.]

West. [He greets him with a nod, raising an eyebrow as if amused to see the boy out of his room.]

[preanimator]

[Oh. Oh god. Oh, really someone like Murdoc is just ... well. He puts these boys to shame, is all. Herbert swallows, staring up at the man with wide, helpless dark eyes.]

Profe- [He starts, and then realizes he's squeaking, and has to clear his throat.] Professor Donoghue.

[wwistful]

[The eyebrow is just going to slide further up. Murdoc had only been teaching here a few months, so he knew Herbert was a little...strange, but this wasn't behaviour he was used to from the boy.

No matter, he supposes the squeak is just his voice breaking and he shrugs it off.]

What are you readin'?

[preanimator]

Um. It's- [Look down at the book, look down at the book, stop staring at the man's chest where there's water just trickling- ]

It's Pavay's Theory of Transelemental Healing. Sir.

[wwistful]

I see. Interestin'. [Sounds a little dry for Murdoc's tastes, but that's why he isn't a Ravenclaw.]

Are you here for a lesson or are you just observin'?

[preanimator]

I- I don't swim. But I'm not watching anyone! I- [Okay, yes, he is watching Murdoc, and really, from this angle, it's quite a nice view. He swallows again, drawing his knees up higher. It's strange, how he never noticed the man much last year, except for his teaching methods, but all of a sudden he's become much more interesting.] I just ... it's a good opportunity. To. Uh, study outdoors. Vitamin D. You know.

[wwistful]

There's nothin' wrong with watchin' so long as it's not perverse. [He glances toward Maxim, oh Murdoc you have no idea.]

I didn't think you were particularly interested in the company a others. Particularly not when they're so easily excited by the concept of swimmin'.

[preanimator]

I'm not perverse! [Oh, damn it, there's that squeak again on the last syllable.] And I'm ... I'm not, I said, I was just out here to study. And my ... my friend is supposed to show up. Yes. I'm meeting someone.

[wwistful]

I never implied that you were. [STARE.] I only assumed that it would be difficult to study amongst the noise, but if you're meetin' a friend I suppose that explains it.

[He glances about for a moment, as if looking for Eriq because that's clearly who Herbert is referring to before looking back at the younger man.] Mind if I sit?

[preanimator]

[Yeah, Herbert doesn't really have any other friends, as is probably obvious to anyone who's talked to him more than once. He gives Murdoc a startled look, though, when he asks to sit down, clearly not sure why he's being asked.]

Uh. No, that's fine. I don't know ... why do you want to sit over here?

[wwistful]

[Murdoc shrugs it off. Honestly, he came out of the water to relax and his legs are getting tired. As soon as he gets the okay, he plonks down next to the younger man, side eyeing his book.]

It's a good a place as any other, s'a pretty good view of everyone. I won't be here long, anyway.

[preanimator]

Oh. All right. [It looks like a pretty complicated book, not the sort of thing a fifteen year old boy would normally be reading, with some weird diagrams in it - but then, that's really par for the course with Ravenclaws. Herbert tucks his chin in a bit, as though he's reading it, but he's really side-eying Murdoc, feeling a little ... strange.] Why are you doing this?

[wwistful]

[He should be used to it, but he's still a little perplexed by the books he sees Herbert with. He supposes not everyone is satisfied with the same genres though.]

Doin' what? Sittin'? My legs are sore.

[preanimator]

No. [points out towards the rest of the students in the water] Teaching people how to swim. It's not really part of the curriculum, is it?

[wwistful]

Ah. [TCH. He knew that! He was totally messing with you, yeah..]

I pitched the idea out of curiousity and the response was satisfactory. It's amazin' how many magical folk seem to go through life never learnin' how to swim.

[preanimator]

Some of them seem to know already. [cautiously ... he has a sneaking suspicion that for at least a few of the kids, there's an ulterior motive]

[wwistful]

I assume they decided to brave the lake knowin' they wouldn't be alone in the endeavor.

[A small shrug.] Can't imagine why else they'd be here. The idea must have appealed to them.

[preanimator]

[coughs, staring down fixedly at his book again] Yes. Can't imagine.

[wwistful]

Do you have a second opinion, West?

[preanimator]

I think that the appeal of seeing certain people half undressed might have something to do with it. [mutters, nose still in his book ... after all, that could easily be taken to mean other students, and not a shirtless professor]

[wwistful]

Ah. [He looks thoughtful.] I hadn't considered that, actually. Perhaps it was foolish of me to underestimate the perverted nature of teenagers.

[preanimator]

I have found that it's almost impossible to overestimate. [dryly]

[wwistful]

I imagine you're forced to endure more of such behaviour than I am, given that you spend almost every wakin' moment around it.