SWIMMINGGEDDON.

[wwistful]

WHO: Murdoc Donoghue and YOU
TONE: Fun, WHIMSICAL, horrifying
RATING: PG-13 and onward
WHEN: September 7th
WHERE:  The Lake.
WHAT:  After this Murdoc realised the children (and staff) of Hogwarts were in dire need of swimming lessons.
STATUS: Ongoing

[GATHER AROUND CHILDREN it's a warm summer day and the lake is perfect for diving into your sudden but inevitable deaths. You should all be dressed in your swimming trunks (which you clearly have don't even lie) because Murdoc sure is. He's determined to conduct this in the best manner he can, though he wasn't quite expecting the turn out to be so large. People who can swim are welcome to become his assistants because he could probably use the help.]

Comments

[wwistful]

[Yes Dirk, the way you're standing around wasting time like that is the easiest way to get Murdoc's attention.

He's going to paddle on over and push himself out of the lake, raising an eyebrow at Dirk.]

This isn't a standin' class, lad. Do you need help?

[givesyouaboner]

What am I supposed to do?

_{[A pause.]}

After stepping into the water, I mean.

[wwistful]

Walk in until your feet aren't touchin' the ground, then we'll work on your kickin'.

[Murdoc is going to stroll back into the lake, looking over his shoulder to make sure the kid is following.]

[givesyouaboner]

Okay.

_{[The first few steps are fine, but the deeper he gets, the more tentative he gets, especially when the water gets up his shoulders. It's the single step after this that's the one he can barely take at all, but he tries to anyway, flailing his arms like a distressed land fish.]}

[wwistful]

[It's a good thing Murdoc isn't easily amused, he'd be laughing. Instead he stretches his hands out for Dirk to grab onto.]

Hold on tight and let yourself float up. Keep your head up.

[givesyouaboner]

<sub>[He clenches onto Murdoc's hands as tightly as he can, under the impression if he does that, he can get enough leverage to hold himself up. He keeps his head tilted up. The only problem with this is that he's not letting this happen naturally; he's putting too much force into trying to float and stay above water. And then there's the issue with the kicking.

He's trying, kicking his legs as hard as he can. Part of it is instinct, but it's difficult to say how well this is working because of how dependent he is letting himself be on Murdoc.]</sub>

Am I doing it right?

[wwistful]

You don't need to force it, lad. Trust your body to float.

[And Murdoc is perfectly okay with how tightly he's holding on. It's not bothering him, afterall, he's gone through far worse pain.]

Try to kick gently. You'll find you don't need to kick at all to stay up.

[givesyouaboner]

<sub>[Dirk does his best to relax and tries to kick slowly. It's weird, and it's hard to let himself trust his body when the water's so deep. What helps is knowing that Murdoc probably wouldn't let him drown. Because he was a teacher and teachers shouldn't let that happen.

It ends up being less of a struggle and it's easier to hold his head above water, so he takes this as a good sign.]</sub>

Am I doing it?

[wwistful]

Much better.

[He takes a step back, pulling Dirk a little deeper in the water.]

Now we're goin' to work on floatin'. Think you can roll onto your back, lad?

[givesyouaboner]

_{[While they're moving, Dirk is trying to look down to see into the water. Gotta make sure there aren't any giant fish or anything nearby.]}

Um... I can try.

_{[He twists some, so in his attempt he doesn't end up accidentally end up kicking Murdoc. Trying to float is harder than the kicking exercise. He can't get his legs to torso to remain horizontal.]}

This I don't think I'm doing right.

[wwistful]

[Murdoc stifles a snort at the boy's attempts. Partly because he's not the type to laugh openly and partly because the poor kid seemed like he needed to be encouraged and not mocked. That and the fact that he was quite civil for a Strider, so much so that Murdoc was inclined to be polite to him.

Swiftly and gently he releases Dirk's hands from his own and places a hand in the middle of his back, nudging for him to straighten it. Then, he uses his other hand to push his legs upward until they're level with his back.

And now he's going to remove his hands and wade backward, leaving Dirk to float.]

[givesyouaboner]

<sub>[And this time, it works. Dirk does his best to not move and he floats. It's really cool; before this he didn't even know people could do that.

Murdoc has been really helpful and it's definitely giving Dirk a better opinion of him.]</sub>

How long do I stay like this?

[wwistful]

Do you feel natural? Comfortable?

[He wades toward Dirk again, taking his wrist and guiding it up over his head.]

Try scoopin' it through the water, then repeat the motion with your other arm.

[givesyouaboner]

It's comfortable, but I wouldn't say natural by any means. I think I still have to get used to it again.

_{[The sudden action almost startles him even though he knows it's just Murdoc. THE BIGGEST BABY, IT IS HIM. He tries the motion with both hands though. Eureka! He managed to slowly propel himself without drowning.]}

I did it! _{[THIS LITTLE KID IS PROUD.]}

[wwistful]

Very good, you're a fast learner. [He cracks a half smile.]

Now you've got to kick your legs as well. If you feel confident enough, try moving your legs in time with your arms.

[givesyouaboner]

Thank you. _{[Wow, he loves compliments. Ego +9000]}

What kind of swimming is this called? _{[First he just starts kicking his legs. Once he gets a the motion well enough, he starts moving his arm again. MORE MOVEMENT.]}

[wwistful]

You're welcome.

[He's going to trail after him.] This is a back stroke. Remember timin', you'll go faster if you can keep your arms in time with each other.

[givesyouaboner]

_{[This makes a lot of sense. Dirk tries to do exactly that. Once he gets a rhythm going, it's easy to get his arms moving in sync. Trying to get his legs to kick at the same time is a challenge for some reason.]}

I feel like a drowning fish.

[wwistful]

Fish tend to be more elegant in water. [SMIRK.] Would you like to practise another stroke?

[givesyouaboner]

Not if the fish is on land.

What other one could I do?

[wwistful]

Then you're not doin' a terribly good impersonation of a drownin' fish in here.

If you roll onto your belly I can teach you the breast stroke. [Don't you dare laugh.]

[givesyouaboner]

I hope you don't hold it against me for not being able to do an accurate portrayal.

_{[Don't worry, this one went over his head. He rolls and the sudden change has him flailing his arms dumbly in effort to keep his chin above water.]}

Like a chicken breast? Why is it called this?

[wwistful]

I'll keep that in mind.

[He's just watching, making sure he doesn't drown.]


Paddle your arms again. Like you were before. Keep your head on its side so you can breathe.

[givesyouaboner]

<sub>[It's weird, because somehow he's keeping up well enough and not just sinking to the bottom of the lake. He isn't used to the idea of his ears and his hair getting wet outside of the shower and maybe this is silly, but it's something he's thinking about now.

But it is easier to breathe this way, so he's able to discard the feeling and just try moving his arms again. Getting a rhythm is difficult, but he's trying nonetheless.]</sub>

Am I doing it right?

[wwistful]

[Murdoc is getting an odd sense of pride from this. Mostly because it's not every day he sees the results of his teaching so clearly.]

You are. Keep workin' at it and you'll get better at it.