BROOM CLEANING + 4TH WALL EVENT

[shnpc]

WHO: The Whole School + ANYONE ELSE
TONE: That shit cray
RATING: PG – PG-13
WHEN: June 9th and 10th
WHERE: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry; Broom cleaning is on the front lawn, but feel free to wander!
WHAT: Students and Teachers are cleaning brooms for the surrounding community in attempt to raise funds. Crazy hijinks ensue when the 4th wall is promptly broken.
NOTES: Use any comment format you like, and tag around! Have a good time and enjoy your stay.

Comments

[quarkylass]

[ As someone who has broken the fourth wall already once, Jade is very attuned to ending up in weird places. However, when she takes a tumble onto the front lawn, she is hardly expecting to end up at a giant castle surrounded by brooms and strange people.

For anyone observing things outside of the two white dog ears on her head and the green yukata, Jade's also complete with a black collar around her neck, etched with: 31BB ]

Is this another F3? But we just got back!

[ She fumbles around in her pocket for a thing that looks like a blackberry, but it appears to be broken. ]

Drat...

[fuckmackandme]

[Speaking of people in weird clothes...]

Jade? What's with the outfit?

[quarkylass]

John!

[ This Jade hasn't seen John in well over a month, so first he is getting a hug...she hasn't yet realized that this isn't the John that disappeared from the Facility. GJ Jade. ]

We went to a hot springs! Val set it up, it was really nice of her, but of course she ruined it with a weird experiment on the second week. You should know that we get to keep the stuff we're wearing when we go back to the facility! Even breaking out didn't change that, silly.

Dave told me you were never coming back! I'm so glad I didn't believe him.

[fuckmackandme]

[And he's... Confused. Because who are those people? And why did Dave say anything like that?]

But I didn't go anywhere. I've been here at school the whole time.

[quarkylass]

School...?

[ And that's when it hits her: the castle, the people staring at her, Jack not randomly appearing out of nowhere and making sure she and Dave are alright...

This isn't the facility. And this isn't her John -- so Dave was right, it seemed. ]

I don't think I'm the same Jade that you know...and you're not the same John. [ She sighs. ] Sorry! I thought maybe he'd come back, after he was incinerated... [ WAIT THIS IS URGENT ] You're not a clone, right?

[fuckmackandme]

No... I'm confused though!

[quarkylass]

I'm from a different universe! One where we were all cloned and sent to a horrible torture facility...the you that was there was awesome. He led an entire rebellion, and we all broke out! We had to kill some interns to do it, but that's wasn't that bad...

Anyway, you died from clone sickness a month ago. You haven't come back, and Dave's been in the facility just as long as you have...so he said you probably wouldn't. But I'm still there! And Dave, and Davesprite! And a few of the trolls: Sollux, and Tavros...

Does that make sense? Why are there a bunch of brooms around, anyway?

[princesspowerful]

[Molly is running around this place because it's SO COOL, JUST LOOK AT WHERE THEY ARE? IS THIS HOGWARTS IN SPACE OR SOMETHING?]

[And then she sees Jade, good, someone that she knows]

LOOK HOW COOL THIS PLACE IS, JADE!

[quarkylass]

Molly!

[ RUNNING TO MEET YOU DOUBLE THE ENTHUSIASM ]

Where are we? Where's everyone else?

[princesspowerful]

I don't know! Are we still in space? It's like Harry Potter in space! Maybe it's like Disney World or something!

[quarkylass]

What's Harry Potter? [ Jade: understands no modern references ] Do you want to explore Disney World together?

[princesspowerful]

Harry Potter is a wizard and he has magic and does things.

[she nods eagerly] Yeah! Let's check it out! Where should we go first?

[quarkylass]

Let's....try the brooms! John said they fly.

[selfhatred]

[Well, when you date someone for a couple of months or so you start to familiarize yourself with their voice. Jade might find herself being spoken to by a rather crass young human with red hair, who's staring at her.]

Jade? What the fuck? Is it like fucking Halloween or something?

[quarkylass]

[ She spots him...does she know him? The voice is kind of similar to Karkat, who she sees a lot (the pitfalls of living in the same house, she swears, is hearing him try and steal the couch cushions).

She reaches up to make sure that her ears are still there -- okay good, this experiment isn't completely humanizing! -- before glancing curiously back at him. He's pretty....young! ]

Karkat? Why are you human? And I don't think it's Halloween, last time it was close to Halloween we had all the bad experiments like the plants and horrible torture experiments.

[selfhatred]

[If by "pretty young" you mean turning 14 in a few days, then you'd be right. He's on the short side, about 5'3" and has a little bit of a potbelly from eating his uncle's chocolate puddings too much. It's actually more the ears than the outfit that has him staring before he rubs his eyes with a groan, speaking with an English accent laced with Spanish.]

Magic shenanigans. I should've fucking known it. [He took a moment to shift his robes off, given the warm weather and the work he was doing.] I dunno about you but I've always been human since, y'know, that's how I was born. What? Am I an alien or something?

[quarkylass]

[ Her Karkat is about to turn fifteen! And is not too happy about it. But he's not usually so.....pink.

Also hey she's younger than him that's not fair. Stupid Facility rule that you regress as you go back home. ]

Well...yes! At home, you're an alien with horns. [ She puts her fingers a little bit in front of her ears, to demonstrate. ] But I think this is just another weird universe thing, since John already explained that you're wizards.

Will you show me around?

[selfhatred]

[This is all kind of too much to take in, but he's used to that. He didn't know he was a wizard, or about magic, until he got his letter. The idea of being an alien just makes him rub his head harder.]

Sounds like something out of a B-grade sci-fi movie. [He blinks a little when she mentions John, tapping his chin.] Oh, he did huh?

Well I don't know how much I can show you since technically we're not allowed in other House dorms. I mean I sneak into Slytherin and Hufflepuff all the time, so fuck knows where that rule came from. But I guess I can.

[quarkylass]

[ She shrugs. ] I guess! I didn't actually know you were an alien until Tavros told me.

[ This all sounds like a very grand adventure to her, so she just nods. ] How many Houses are there?

[clockspinner]

[Dave hadn't seen his girlfriend since breakfast that morning. But even still, he was pretty sure that she hadn't had enough time to sprout a pair of ears.

He walks over to her. There's a little orange owl on his shoulder.]

Jade? Nice ears. What kind of spell did you screw up?

[quarkylass]

[ She whirls around and grins. Not her Dave, but it's still nice to see her boyfriend in some capacity. Oh and look, he can walk with no limp! If only Jade could convince her Dave to go to physical therapy.... ]

Hi Dave! I think you've got the wrong Jade. Universe shenanigans!

[clockspinner]

[He pulls up short when she tells him he's got the wrong Jade. Fucking doppleganger bullshit again? Ugh.]

Dammit. Really? Where did all of you come from? I've already met an alternate Rose, too.

And where did you get those ears?

[quarkylass]

[ She shrugs! ] I don't know! First, we were almost finished with our Facility Three trip, and then I was here! [ Points to the collar. ] In some universes, we've been cloned and placed on torture facilities. It kind of sucks sometimes, but you're there, which makes it better! And Jack, too.

I became a god! They're cute, aren't they?

[clockspinner]

[As she talks, his eyebrows lift up over his shades, which slip a little down his nose.

Can he just. Take her and hide her and not let her go back where she came from. Is that an option. It damn well better be, because even if it wasn't his Jade, it was still a Jade and therefore one of his best friends.]

Who's Jack?

And w- hol- Shit, what do you mean you're a god? Do they just hand out free animal features on ascension to godhood, now? No more singing cherubs or haloes of light, just something straight out of the animes?

[quarkylass]

[ She grins at him, completely misunderstanding his thought patterns. ]

Jack Noir? Big, scary? He used to be evil.

Well, it's a long story. I just merged with someone who was part dog, that's all.