This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo

[clockspinner]

WHO: Dave and Tavros, eventually open to all
TONE: lmao what the fffuuu--
RATING: PG-13. They'll probably start swearing.
WHEN: 05-03-12, 1705
WHERE: The Great Hall
WHAT: Gamzee made a shitty jab at Dave. Dave made a shitty jab back, and was promptly dogpiled by Karkat and Tavros. He proceeded to steer the conversations with genitalia, until Tavros grew a pair of stone-cold bollocks and challenged him to throw down sick rhymes. Dave upped the ante and called the battle in front of the entire school, at dinner. Tavros agreed to the terms.

In a peripherally-relevant thread, Dave proceeded to tell Gamzee about the rap battle (kinda), and demonstrate that he has no sense of self-preservation. Luckily, Tavros told Gamzee what was really going on.

tl;dr: Tavros challenged Dave for a rap battle for Gamzee's honor in front of the entire school. This log is open, but if you want to reply please wait until the actual rapping's done.
STATUS: ongoing

_{[As soon as the evening's announcements are over and the food has appeared on the table, Dave stands up and withdraws his wand from his robes, pointing it at his throat.]}

Sonorus.

_{[He clears his throat and nods as it echoes through the curiously silent Great Hall.]}

Yo Hogwarts, sit tight 'cause you're getting dinner and a show tonight.

_{[He looks over at Tavros, behind his shades.]}

This tool decided to challenge the rhyme king to a little duel, so we're gonna have ourselves a battle of sick rhymes. This is between me and hot wheels, so everyone else just sit back and enjoy the show, got it?

Since I'm feeling pretty goddamn magnanimous, I'll even let you start us off.

Comments

[selfhatred]

[Karkat had been sitting at Gryffindor table attempting to block his ears from the horrible sounds of the rap battle. He had to put up with it almost daily in the 3rd year boy's dorm, why should he have to put up with it in the Great Hall.

And then Dave took the low blow.

Karkat saw red. Even he knew about Tavros's adoration for Peter Pan and though he thought it was childish, he understood the need for something or someone to cling to. He stood from his seat with his hands on the table, looking like he was going to launch himself at his dormmate.

Which happened. For someone as short as Karkat it took him little time to leap the length of Gryffindor table and over to the other side where Dave was, taking hold of him by the scruff of his robes and hitting him with all the strength he could muster in his free hand.]

YOU. FUCKING. ASSHOLE.

[clockspinner]

<sub>[Dave had just started walking back to the Gryffindor table, when there was suddenly an angry ball of Karkat launching himself over the table and punching Dave.]

[He raised his arms up to block the hit, faster than Vantas' eyes could probably see, and was glad he had the second to react because the force behind that would have broken his shades like ice.]</sub>

What the fuck, Vantas?

[selfhatred]

[Karkat wasn't a very physical person, but when he did get angry enough there was guarantee tables were going to be flipped. When Dave went to block the first one, Karkat reversed it and went straight for his gut. He knew Dave would want to protect his precious shades, and amazingly enough he was thinking rationally enough to realize that.]

[selfmakeout]

[OKAY WOW, Jade had been watching the whole thing with amusement but when sorta!boyfriend decided to get up and try to beat up best friend #3, she had to jump in.]

Oh my god, Karkat, knock it off! What the fuck is wrong with you??!

[fuckmackandme]

[John had been watching the whole thing with excitement and rooting for his friend Dave... But then Tavros face kinda ruined it, and Karkat exploding like that just added a whole new layer of "Oh shit" to it.

He followed Jade to the scene.]

Guys, guys. Come on, stop it!

[selfhatred]

What the fuck is wrong with me? Shouldn't you be asking him that? For Christ's fucking tap dancing sake, Harley, don't tell me you're taking Strider's side.

[selfmakeout]

It was a rap battle, rap battle! BATTLE! GOD. Yes, it's bad that Tavros's feelings were hurt, but it is not going to make things any better if you just beat up Dave! You should be talking to Tavros!

He hurt your friend, what would hurting my friend accomplish besides satisfying your own stupid pride?

[fuckmackandme]

Shouldn't someone go check on Tavros too? Now the teachers are going to do something...

[selfhatred]

[He's completely ignoring you, sorry John.]

I don't give a shit what it was! It was a low fucking blow and you fucking know how Tavros is with his confidence! Strider shouldn't get away with that with the fucking excuse about some bullshit like it being a fucking rap battle!

[selfmakeout]

Of course I fucking know! I'm not a fucking idiot! I'm telling you that getting into a fight is STUPID and Dave can apologize to Tavros after he has had some time alone! If you take another swing at Dave--[she rolls up her sleeve]--I will kick your arse, Vantas!

[Oh she ain't standing down.]

[fuckmackandme]

Jade, don't you start a fight too!

[selfhatred]

Whoa hold up we got ourselves a fucking badass. [His upper lip curls into a sneer.] Please. You couldn't hit the broad side of a fucking barn. Maybe if you like Strider so fucking much you should fucking go out with him instead.

[selfmakeout]

You know what, fuckass?

[HELLO, KARKAT, MEET JADE'S FIST!]

I think I will! I was an idiot to rush into this, you are definitely not ready for a relationship.

[> JADE: ABSCOND.]

[fuckmackandme]

[OH SHIT NOW WHAT AAAAAAAAAH THE TEACHERS WILL BE ON THEIR ASSES NOW!]

Jade! Jade!

Aaaaah...

Karkat, are you ok?

[selfhatred]

[Okay, he hadn't been expecting her to actually hit him. Karkat's hands find his face, cupping around his nose. He thought he heard something break, goddamnit.]

Fine! See if I fucking care!

[>KARKAT: ABSCOND THE FUCK OUT OF THERE.]

[clockspinner]

<sub>[Yep, Dave takes that one. Right in the solar plexus. He wasn't experienced with dirty hand-to-hand fighting at all. Even when his Bro only used Cal to fight him, he still used a sword.]

[Tears come to his eyes as all of the breath rushes out of him at the sudden hit to his diaphragm, and he doubles forward as much as he can still, stupidly, using one arm to protect his shades face.]</sub>