BROOM CLEANING + 4TH WALL EVENT

[shnpc]

WHO: The Whole School + ANYONE ELSE
TONE: That shit cray
RATING: PG – PG-13
WHEN: June 9th and 10th
WHERE: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry; Broom cleaning is on the front lawn, but feel free to wander!
WHAT: Students and Teachers are cleaning brooms for the surrounding community in attempt to raise funds. Crazy hijinks ensue when the 4th wall is promptly broken.
NOTES: Use any comment format you like, and tag around! Have a good time and enjoy your stay.

Comments

[selfhatred]

[Okay, why the fuck was his...no, that wasn't even a question. Of course his clothes were glowing because of fucking magic. He rolls his eyes, before leaning forward where he's sitting, placing his chin on his hand.]

Whoever's idea of a joke? This isn't fucking funny.

[polariity]

[He would argue otherwise, just for the record.]

[Also, those might be black polkadots starting to spread across your arm, Karkat. Yellow and black, wonder what significance that has?]

[selfhatred]

[Welp. There's only one person he knows who uses polka dots.]

This isn't funny, Uncle Art.

[polariity]

Yeah, well, you don't have a thense of humor, what would you know about funny?

[But he pops out from one of the nearby trees, landing a bit rough but with a grin. There's a cat carrier under one arm as he approaches.]

I wath thinking thomething more interesting would be uthed ath a fund drive, but oh well. [A wave of his wand to get rid of the glowing and polka dots.] Not even happy to thee me?

[selfhatred]

After that little prank? Not really.

[He sighs a little bit and gets up from where he was sitting to turn towards the older wizard, lips quirking just a tad.]

What're you doing here anyway? Uncle Sal tell you about the broom cleaning so you decided to come and harass the students?

[polariity]

That'sth putting it a little hard, ithn't it? I like to think I'm... enlightening them to what their future probably holdth.

[Stuffing his wand back in one of his suspenders, he shrugs.]

The broom thing ith jutht an eathy way in. I dropped by to thee thomeone. Why not make a couple detourth while I'm at it? Altho, a prethent for di.

[He shakes the cat carrier a little. A double hiss comes out from it.]

[selfhatred]

[Oh god so that's what that thing was for. Karkat reaches up to rub the bridge of his nose with a sigh.]

We don't need more fucking cats.

[polariity]

I think we both know Di would dithagree.

It hath two headth.

[selfhatred]

Wouldn't you rather keep it then? Since two's your thing and all?

[polariity]

One, I think I have been forbidden from owning catsth, what with how my room apparently devourth them.

Two, I thought Di would like it more.

[selfhatred]

Well at least the pets are all back to normal. A two headed human isn't the fucking nightmare fuel I need right now.

[polariity]

You think? I wath hoping thomething interethting would be happening when I came over, but nah...

[He glances around.]

I hope it ithn't alwayth tho thlow.

[selfhatred]

It was freaky as all hell. I had Butter and Roger hanging off me all day.

[polariity]

Welcome to the magical world, KK! Full of freaky ath hell thingth.

[selfhatred]

Yeah, thanks. Where's the fucking exit?

[polariity]

In a ditch thomewhere, eheheh.

Tho, anything that hathn't made you want to tear out your hair?

[selfhatred]

Good thing you said hasn't because there sure is a fuckton of things that have.

[polariity]

Ouch.

[He's sincere, too. He knows how it feels when things go wrong.]

I don't thuppothe you want thome jackath to rant to, huh?

[selfhatred]

[Don't ask Karkat to talk about things that've gone wrong. He could write a whole album of songs on them.]

Want me to start from first year or should I just talk about everything that's gone wrong this year?

[polariity]

[Keeping the cat carrier a decent arms length away, Artollo uses his other arm to sling it around Karkat's shoulders.]

Let's find thomewhere where nothy douthebagth won't lithten, firtht. C'mon.

[He starts leading him to the edges of the Forbidden Forest. They won't actually go in; the edge is fine enough for his purposes.]

[selfhatred]

[Karkat actually took his allergy potion today, so he's fine around cats right now. He stuffs his hands into the pockets of his hoodie and lets his uncle's best friend lead him away. He was getting sick of scrubbing brooms anyway.]

[polariity]

[Once he finds a good spot under the trees, Artollo eases down and leans back with his legs crossed.]

Alright. Tho what'sth the damage?

[selfhatred]

[Karkat gives a small sigh and starts counting off on his fingers.]

Well I guess the first thing that happened would be this elitist asshole trying to tell everyone we were fools and shit for not following the Dark Lord. Jackass and a prefect started playing tug of war with my journal because I gave him shit.

[He taps finger number two.] My girlfriend broke up with me because I punched Strider in the face for making fun of Tavros during this fucking rap battle thing. [Tap on finger number three.] My parents showed up as zombie ghosts on parent's day.

[Tap on finger number four.] Some bitch tried to talk shit about everyone else's parents and I got into trouble for ripping her out. [Tap to finger number five.] I got a censoring hex placed on me because I swore too fucking much when I announced at a Quidditch match.

[Six.] I got shit from one of my friends for calling a girl he liked my girlfriend. We ended up going out anyway but broke up a month later or so because it wasn't the right time for either of us.

[Seven.] I tell the truth about something and get shit from one of my friends for lying to him to protect him. And it's so fucking hypocritical because he lied to me too. [Eight.] I get my hair turned red by a Ravenclaw asshole.

[Nine.] Strider and my ex girlfriend are now dating. [Ten.] The dragon egg I was supposed to raise with a partner didn't fucking hatch. [Eleven.] I'm so fucking confused about my sexuality that I don't know if I fucking like this guy or not.

[polariity]

On the bright thide, at leatht you look good in red.

[But jeez, it would just be like a Vantas to stumble into a mess of things. Lives of excitement is the really nice way to put it.]

Tho, where thould I thow my uncle-y conthern firtht?

[selfhatred]

[He rolled his eyes and sighed a little, slumping down on the small grass hill and drew his knees up, draping his arms over them.]

Wherever you want. Honestly at this point I just don't give a shit anymore.