BROOM CLEANING + 4TH WALL EVENT

[shnpc]

WHO: The Whole School + ANYONE ELSE
TONE: That shit cray
RATING: PG – PG-13
WHEN: June 9th and 10th
WHERE: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry; Broom cleaning is on the front lawn, but feel free to wander!
WHAT: Students and Teachers are cleaning brooms for the surrounding community in attempt to raise funds. Crazy hijinks ensue when the 4th wall is promptly broken.
NOTES: Use any comment format you like, and tag around! Have a good time and enjoy your stay.

Comments

[selfhatred]

Yeah, thanks. Where's the fucking exit?

[polariity]

In a ditch thomewhere, eheheh.

Tho, anything that hathn't made you want to tear out your hair?

[selfhatred]

Good thing you said hasn't because there sure is a fuckton of things that have.

[polariity]

Ouch.

[He's sincere, too. He knows how it feels when things go wrong.]

I don't thuppothe you want thome jackath to rant to, huh?

[selfhatred]

[Don't ask Karkat to talk about things that've gone wrong. He could write a whole album of songs on them.]

Want me to start from first year or should I just talk about everything that's gone wrong this year?

[polariity]

[Keeping the cat carrier a decent arms length away, Artollo uses his other arm to sling it around Karkat's shoulders.]

Let's find thomewhere where nothy douthebagth won't lithten, firtht. C'mon.

[He starts leading him to the edges of the Forbidden Forest. They won't actually go in; the edge is fine enough for his purposes.]

[selfhatred]

[Karkat actually took his allergy potion today, so he's fine around cats right now. He stuffs his hands into the pockets of his hoodie and lets his uncle's best friend lead him away. He was getting sick of scrubbing brooms anyway.]

[polariity]

[Once he finds a good spot under the trees, Artollo eases down and leans back with his legs crossed.]

Alright. Tho what'sth the damage?

[selfhatred]

[Karkat gives a small sigh and starts counting off on his fingers.]

Well I guess the first thing that happened would be this elitist asshole trying to tell everyone we were fools and shit for not following the Dark Lord. Jackass and a prefect started playing tug of war with my journal because I gave him shit.

[He taps finger number two.] My girlfriend broke up with me because I punched Strider in the face for making fun of Tavros during this fucking rap battle thing. [Tap on finger number three.] My parents showed up as zombie ghosts on parent's day.

[Tap on finger number four.] Some bitch tried to talk shit about everyone else's parents and I got into trouble for ripping her out. [Tap to finger number five.] I got a censoring hex placed on me because I swore too fucking much when I announced at a Quidditch match.

[Six.] I got shit from one of my friends for calling a girl he liked my girlfriend. We ended up going out anyway but broke up a month later or so because it wasn't the right time for either of us.

[Seven.] I tell the truth about something and get shit from one of my friends for lying to him to protect him. And it's so fucking hypocritical because he lied to me too. [Eight.] I get my hair turned red by a Ravenclaw asshole.

[Nine.] Strider and my ex girlfriend are now dating. [Ten.] The dragon egg I was supposed to raise with a partner didn't fucking hatch. [Eleven.] I'm so fucking confused about my sexuality that I don't know if I fucking like this guy or not.

[polariity]

On the bright thide, at leatht you look good in red.

[But jeez, it would just be like a Vantas to stumble into a mess of things. Lives of excitement is the really nice way to put it.]

Tho, where thould I thow my uncle-y conthern firtht?

[selfhatred]

[He rolled his eyes and sighed a little, slumping down on the small grass hill and drew his knees up, draping his arms over them.]

Wherever you want. Honestly at this point I just don't give a shit anymore.

[polariity]

If you didn't give a thit, you wouldn't be freaking about thith. [Gently, he reaches over to muss up Karkat's hair.]

I'll thtart with what I know. The thexuality thing. With that, you can't think about it too much. It doethn't matter. You can be thtraight and thtill want to bang a guy if the right thtarth align and all that.

That thort of thing changeth, alright? What do you like about thith random douthe I don't know who might thteal our prethiouth nephew away?

[selfhatred]

[What did he like about Tavros? Well that really was a question in itself, wasn't it? Karkat paused, reaching up to brush his hair back into its usual rat's nest after Art was done messing his hair up, letting his hand slide down to rest against his neck.]

What do I like about him? I dunno. I guess...I like that I don't have to be anything special for him. Like...I don't have to put up a farce or pretend to be something I'm not. [Not that he had to do that with Jade, but with Feferi he'd had to be a rock for her when her nanny died.] I can just be me.

[polariity]

Thometimeth that'sth enough, you know.

[It's hard to tell, with the way his eyes are these days, but Artollo is spacing out a bit, thinking of his own years. Where the hell would he be without Sal and Di to keep him in check?]

Who thayth the two of you are even going to be together forever? Thit ith temporary, and that'sth okay. For a little while, you can be with thomeone who you don't want to throttle or throw up whatever bullthit wallth you do.

I mean, it'sth like cake. No one eatsth it becauthe it'sth healthy or going to make uth live a long time. We eat it because cake tasteth good, even if jutht for a couple minutesth. Think of it like that, at leatht until you get married, if that'sth a thing that happenth.

And try not to be too much of a dick to the cake in the meantime.

[selfhatred]

[If Karkat took notice of the spacing out, he didn't say. As he listened, things began making sense but there was still some part of him that refused to believe that it was fully okay. He pursed his lips together, crossing his arms over his knees.]

But...it's not okay, is it? To like a guy.

[polariity]

...KK, people uthed to thay it wathn't "okay" to be a magic uther, and we now call thothe people "dumb ath fuck".

[selfhatred]

Then...I guess it'd be okay if I asked him to the dance, right?

[polariity]

I'd thay it'd be more than okay to athk him.

And if anyone thayth otherwithe, I can do a little thpell that helpth with moronth who can't thut it eheheh.

[selfhatred]

[He pauses before letting a small smirk curl at the corner of his mouth.]

Thanks, Uncle Art.

[polariity]

You thould be thankful, becauthe I think I've jutht run out of my 'withe old uncle' retherveth, heh.

[He leans back a bit, trying to seem casual.]

I'll try to thtick around to thee how that turnth out with you and thith guy of yourth.