sortinghat_logs | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

WHO: John Egbert and Dave Strider
TONE: Burn baby burn!
RATING: PG for swearing and burning smuppets
WHEN: Monday, March 19
WHERE: The dungeons
WHAT: John and Dave prank everyone at Slytherin by magicking a bunch of smuppets into their common once someone opens the door. After that, they go deeper into the dungeons with some more smuppets and prepare to have a little bonfire of smuppets.
STATUS: Ongoing

So as it turned it out, being sneaky and fast while magically dragging around a bunch of puppets was harder in practice than in theory. Still, among the chaos that Slytherin had become once the stream of smuppets had began, John and Dave had managed to make their way deeper into the dungeons without much trouble. Once he fairly certain they were out of everyone's ear shot, John let out a laugh. "Hahaha! That was awesome!"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"It was actually pretty awesome!" he said with a little laugh of excitement. "Dad got me my first bottle of shaving cream and taught me how to shave! He said he saw some whiskers that worried him, so he took the chance. How about yours?"

...Oh. Well. "Well goddamn, nothing as Hallmark as that, that's for sure." Dave rested his chin on his knees. "Found out that Bro's not really my brother."

"What?" That didn't make sense. If he wasn't really his brother, why call himself his Bro? "What is he then?"

Dave closed his eyes behind his shades and took a deep breath, his shoulders tensed a little. He was still shaken by the revelation, but he was starting to accept it. Kind of. A little. "He's my dad."

... What?

That made even less sense.

Why would he do that?

Why say you're your son's brother when you'll be raising him anyway? If he was the result of some teenage affair, then the whole scenario would make sense if Dave was being raised by what would actually be his grandparents, but otherwise... No, not even movie logic made sense here. Was that some irony thing he hadn't been told about? "What the fuck?"

"Also apparently Rose and I are twins, but Bro and her mom weren't digging the whole joint custody thing when they split up, so they just each took one of us and fucked off."

Don't ask Dave, it didn't make any sense to him, either. He guessed Bro was just too cool to be a dad or something like that. Or figured that an implied sob story was better gossip for the neighbors than a single young dad. Whatever, Dave didn't know. He shrugged. "So that was my Parent's Day."

"Dude..." Jesus Christ, what was it with his friends and bad Parents Days? It almost made him feel bad for his own good day.

"That... Wow..." What could he say, really? 'Sorry man'? That felt so insufficient it was almost insulting. It certainly didn't cover what Dave and Rose must have been feeling since they were told the truth. What did you say to that, anyway? But he had to say or do something. Dave was his best friend, and he had just poured his heart out to him. As little as had been said, he could tell that Dave was tremendously affected by it.

So, he did the best he could think of, and scooted closers to Dave, threw his arm around Dave's in a half-way hug, and pulled the other boy closer. "I'm sorry."

Dave didn't expect John to say anything, really. It kind of just felt better to say it. It was what it was, or so he'd been trying to tell himself, there was no reason to feel betrayed. Even if he had been lied to for the past fourteen ye--yeah, fuck that, he was gonna feel betrayed about this.

His shoulders tensed a little when John's arm wrapped around him and pulled him closer, and then he relaxed and shifted so that he could scoot closer and slide an arm behind John that he could rest his weight on.

"Thanks, man," he murmured. "Sorry to bring you down. Sounds like you had a pretty awesome day, cake attacks notwithstanding."

John rolled his eyes at that. "Dave, you don't have to apologise. I had a great day that's over. You're dealing with this out of nowhere shit now."

Dave sighed, but he smiled a little. It was starting to get really warm in the room, and the orange glow from the fire was reaching out to the sides of the room. Dave extinguished the 'lumos' of his wand, in lieu of muttering a quick spell to dispel the smoke (it was the same trick he'd picked up to use in front of the smoke detector in the apartment, whenever something went horribly wrong in the kitchen or fireworks accidentally got set off inside).

"It'll be even worse when Bro shows up for work after hols."

John did the same with his wand, letting nothing but the fire illuminate the room. At least now the fire was warming the place up nicely. Dave's comment about Bro gave him pause, though.

"He's coming to work here?" That... Couldn't be good.

Dave stared at the fire, which was doing a nice job of consuming the smuppets so that he didn't have to stare into their asses by doing so.

"Eyup. He heard Vantas socked me one and he's decided that he needs to get a job here so he can make a man out of me." It was all said with a total pokerface. "Sorry in advance if these smuppet-burning parties become routine."

"That's stupid! What will he even teach?" John said, completely baffled by the prospect. Granted, he didn't know that much about the man, but surely 'irony' or 'how to make puppets dirty' wouldn't be a valid subject to teach at Hogwarts, right?

"Beats me, but whatever it is I'm sure as hell not signing up." Dave shifted so that he was sitting cross-legged. "I get enough of his shit at home I don't wanna have to fight him just to get to the Great Hall."

Plus, there was the fact that he was currently so mad at Bro that he could spit. Yeah, that was a big one, too.

"I don't think Dumbledore would let him fight you," he said, the reference to the headmaster reminding him of Rose. He wondered how she was taking the news. She'd made perfectly obvious that she disliked her mother, and now with a bomb like this, it probably wouldn't improve. All that amateur psychoanalysis probably didn't prepare her for that either.

That was not how families were supposed to be, that much John knew for sure.

Dave hadn't really talked to Rose since the bomb got dropped, so he couldn't tell you how she was handling it. Then again, she hadn't ever idolized her mother in the same way that Dave once idolized Bro. For Dave, the pedestal was broken, and there was no going back. "Yeah, well I don't think Bro's the type to be afraid of an old fart with a beard."

"Still..." John insisted. "That's stuff that'd get him fired, right? It's not like he could hide it."

Dave shrugged, but didn't say anything. If Bro even managed to get hired in the first place, he was probably good enough to stay on even while he made Dave's life a living hell.

"That offer still up for Easter hols?" he asked, after a moment had passed. "Needless to say, I'd rather tear out my own toenails with a pair of hot pliers than go home."

Edited (((shhhhh I can type))) 2012-03-24 22:40 (UTC)

"Sure!" John said with a small smile. That at least was something that he had no intention of changing.

And then he was hit by a sudden thought reminding him that Bro wouldn't necessarily let Dave, and his father certainly wouldn't be letting someone stay in his house without permission. But then again, Bro had made him promise to have Dave's back at all times (like he needed to do that), and that certainly fell under that, so he figured it'd probably be fine.

Dave actually smiled a little at that, too. "Thanks, I owe you one."

Last he'd heard he wasn't allowed to go. But honestly, look at all the fucks that he absolutely did not give at this point. He also didn't know about the promise that John was being held to. He just. Wanted to spend the hols anywhere but with his brot-- with Bro.

That made John chuckle a little. "Nah, it's cool! You, Jade and Rose are always invite over!"

The little improvised bonfire was getting almost too hot to be sitting so close to. A lot of the damp coldness in the room had been eaten up, dried up by the fire, and Dave glanced around. "Sure am glad there aren't any skeletons of former students or anything in here," he mumbled under his breath.

That actually made John shudder. "Don't say that, you'll attract some ghost."

But then a thought occurred. "Unless you want to start telling scary stories around the fire."

Dave looked at him when he felt him shudder, and was just about to point out that the kid who watches Ghostbusters at least fifty times every summer was afraid of summoning spirits? But then John continued, and Dave's eyebrows shot up.

"Sure, why not?" It was better than dwelling on the parents day clusterfuck of 2012, that was for sure.

"Awesome!" John said, shifting himself so he was facing Dave, and scooting a little away from the fire because of the heat. "You start!"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only