Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

[3houseswatson]

WHO: John Watson and Sherlock Holmes
TONE: Was meant to be friendly and fun... but now tinged with concern.
RATING: PG-13 for potential language
WHEN: Friday, November 30th, after dinner.
WHERE: The Dining Hall
WHAT: Sherlock suggested meeting up to play a friendly game of Wizard's Chess, which John agreed to. But thanks to a tense conversation with a certain Slytherin, John's got a bit more to think about than a simple chess game.
STATUS: Ongoing



[To say that John had a lot on his mind would be an understatement.

Originally, this was just going to be him and Sherlock meeting up so the Ravenclaw could obliterate him in a game of Wizard's Chess. John had no problems with the notion of imminent defeat on the chessboard; he always seemed to have a good time when he and Sherlock were together, putting aside moments of occasional awkwardness when they didn't quite see eye-to-eye on certain matters. He fully expected that as long as he was in Sherlock's company, he wouldn't mind losing.

But then he had words with Jim Moriarty and between that and what he'd gleaned from Sherlock about the situation, a bit of suspicion and worry seemed all too rational. He wasn't sure if he could convince Sherlock of anything, but he could damn well express his concern.

Now that dinner had been cleared away and the other students had gone off to do other things, the Dining Hall was mostly empty. John scanned the room, wondering if Sherlock had already arrived.]

Comments

[3potionproblem]

You sure you want to make your Queen vulnerable this early on?

Molly isn't me. Jim and I have an understanding.

[3houseswatson]

I'll stand by it.

What makes you so sure he won't change his mind and go back on this 'understanding' - whatever that means? He's made it pretty clear that he's got no morality tethering him back.

[3potionproblem]

[Sherlock shrugged and moved knight to f6.]

Because we're friends. He is one of the few people of whom I do not hesitate to use that term. His morality aside, he respects me. I've no reason to fear him.

[3houseswatson]

[John placed a pawn at G3.]

Friends intentionally cause relationship drama? Friends toy around with their friends and acquaintances for fun?

[John shook his head.]

Even if he really never will harm you in any way, you don't see anything wrong with him pulling stuff like that on others?

[3potionproblem]

Jim can't help the way he was born any more than I can. I'd just as soon blame a dog for barking.

Not all of human nature is good intentions. Not everyone has a conscious that is synched with normal standards.

[pawn to d6]

[3houseswatson]

[Knight to a3.]

Just because someone doesn't have a conscience doesn't mean they can't control their actions. You're suggesting he doesn't have the ability to choose whether or not he'll do something.

[3potionproblem]

[Bishop to g4.

Sherlock scowled.]

Right and wrong are very grey concepts, John. Did he know better when he asked Molly out as a social experiment? Yes. But he was bored. In his mind, that is a far graver wrong than almost anything that can be done to alleviate it.

[3houseswatson]

[Pawn to B4.]

I understand boredom. You had to have seen that it was one of the things that really kept me down before things began to look up. Not being able to do what I used to enjoy, feeling trapped in my own skin.

But if I knew that the only way to keep me from not being bored would be to lie and exploit, I'd stick with the boredom.

Just because he's of the opinion that his own entertainment is worth more than others' feelings doesn't justify his actions.

[3potionproblem]

That is because you're normal, John. Neither he nor I are. It might not be easy to understand but the value of normal people isn't the same as extraordinary ones. Like ants to giants.

[Knight to d7]

[3houseswatson]

[John stared at Sherlock for a second, disappointment written clearly across his face.]

Wow, Sherlock. I've heard you say some iffy things, but that just goes above and beyond. At least as bad as when you still used 'Mudblood' in front of me.

If that's how you really feel, maybe there's no point in me being here. He's made it clear to me how much he fancies you; I'm sure you'll make each other so happy.

Just try not to crush too many of us ants underfoot as you two trod along your merry way. You two giants might not notice it, but the mangled ants left behind sure as hell do.

[3potionproblem]

[Sherlock paused. Normally it wouldn't bother him but he likes John. He's very much enjoyed their interactions. Damage control it is, then.]

There was a time when I thought us both giants. Then eventually we discovered I'm just a rather tall ant. He lets me walk beside him but I do try to look where I'm going.

I'm here with you right now, aren't I? Not him. And not simply to ruin you in wizard chess. So play.

[3houseswatson]

[John knew that was about as close as Sherlock typically gets to something resembling an apology, but that didn't mean he had to like it.

He pushed a pawn to D4, keeping his eyes on Sherlock without really looking at the board.]

And how long do you figure a giant can put up with a 'very tall ant' until he gets bored?

[3potionproblem]

Traditionally, for as long as he can claim it as his own. You needn't worry about me though your concern is noted.

[pawn to a5]

[3houseswatson]

[John's pawn at B4 takes Sherlock's pawn at A5.]

What do you mean, him claiming you as his own? That you can't have other friends?

[3potionproblem]

Other than the boys in my dorm, I haven't really. Of my own choosing, though--not because Jim expressed that I could or should not. But he.... likes me.

[Rook to the pawn at a5]

And there he has no competition.

[3houseswatson]

[Knight from A3 to B5.]

No competition? Bollocks to that. I can't say I'm too sure about your other roommates, but I know Tony likes you in his own weird way. Even if it does involve constant low-to-mid-level pranks and teasing.

And there's someone else. Who was he again? It's right on the tip of my tongue... oh, right, me.

[3potionproblem]

[Rook to Knight at B5]

Tony has much closer friends than I. We're friendly but mostly private. You... you're different. From anyone.

But I was speaking more on the fact that Jim has romantic inclinations towards me to which there are no others. He can dominate that portion of my attention without conflict.

[3houseswatson]

[Pawn to H3.]

I think I'm supposed to take that as a compliment, but I can't be sure. This conversation's giving me a bit of whiplash.

But I thought you weren't interested in that sort of thing at all.

[3potionproblem]

[Bishop to h5]

I'm not.

[3houseswatson]

[Bishop to G2.]

And you honestly expect a giant who's got no qualms stepping on an ant or two to get his way will be content to let you keep being disinterested in the long run?

[3potionproblem]

Even if I'm disinterested, I'm still his. I only cease to be his when I show interest in someone else.

[Pawn to e6]

It may sound like I'm defending him, John, but I'm not. When first I asked him why he kissed me he said 'because you are mine to be kissed'. I don't like that in the least. He is learning, though. And though it may be his mindset still, he doesn't act upon it.

I'm trying to change too. I owe him as much a chance as I would expect from others. Isn't that what you said?

[3houseswatson]

[Oh, of course those words would come back to haunt him. Of course.]

Sherlock... that's completely unhealthy! He can't just act like he owns you and do things you don't like to you because he thinks you're his for some damnable reason!

When I said you should be open-minded to that stuff, I thought it went without saying that I'd not need to add "... unless the other person is a creepy, controlling wanker" to the end of my sentence.

[Pawn to A3, completely as a frustrated afterthought.]

[3potionproblem]

[Pawn to c5]

I'm not an idiot, John. I am capable of and do in fact stand up for myself. I don't just let him do anything.

[3houseswatson]

[Pawn to C3.]

He knows you're not interested in relationship things, right?

[3potionproblem]

[Pawn to c4]

Yes, and in no uncertain words.

[He touches the scarf idly all the same.]

He doesn't want to force me to do anything. That wouldn't be fun for him, anyway. The fun is in making me change my mind.