sortinghat_logs | Hogsmeade Weekend

I wouldn't call myself an expert. But you keep making it all sound like it's all about exploiting others, when it ought to be more about finding someone who makes you happy and making them happy in return.

As for dating, it's... y'know. It's when two people who like each other go out and have fun. I don't know what you seem to think it is.

So a date is more or less what we've been doing here.

[What with the meeting up, exploring things, talking about personal things....]

[John stared at him for a moment before blinking a few times in surprise as what Sherlock said finally registered.]

No, it's... different. Totally and completely different. The, er, differentness of it is absolute.

Oh.

Well, I'm afraid the finer points of relationships are among the things I won't understand for quite some time, then. You're quite right; there will be a better sample group once I have less hormonal subjects to observe. If in fact things like love do exist outside idealism and fairytales. I'll stick to my current assessments for lack of conflicting evidence.

[Yes, good, John would take that conversation change. Anything that wasn't whether or not they were on a date. Which they weren't.]

Yeah, fair enough. Just don't be too cynical. Not terribly scientific, that. It's one thing to go in with a hypothesis, but quite another to shut out all other options completely.

The girls you dated and almost had sex with aren't your girlfriends now. So what makes you so sure I'm wrong?

[Sherlock finished off his butterbeer. He hadn't meant to get in a somewhat argument slash discussion like this with John. John was just... easy to talk to. Didn't talk down to him. Validated his opinion even if he held contrary ones.

Maybe John wasn't one of the two people having fun at the table, but Sherlock was rather enjoying even the arguing bits.]

Just because relationships can end doesn't mean that it's not worth pursuing them at all. All sorts of things can happen, y'know. You can realize you're heading down two different paths lifestyle-wise, you can decide you're just better as friends... her dad can barge in with your trousers around your knees and you have to dodge jinxes while you try to get the hell out of the house...

[He winced and finished off his own butterbeer. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't having a good time as well, despite occasional awkwardness.]

[Sherlock’s brows rose in surprise before he started chuckling softly. What a mental image.]

Well, it’s a good thing we’ve got you back fighting fit. It’d be a shame to lose the head on your shoulders to the whims of the one in your pants.

I’ll keep an open mind. Might be nice to be wrong.

[Although John's expression started off sour at that, he couldn't help breaking into a fit of giggles himself.]

I'll say. One of the jinxes actually grazed me a bit. Singed most of my right eyebrow off. For three weeks that summer I had to use my sister's eyebrow pencil so I'd only look mostly weird instead of incredibly weird.

Well, if you do, don't just go barging into any old relationship as an experiment. I imagine helping to get someone out of a terrible relationship is a fair bit harder than keeping them from drowning in a sink.

[Sherlock tried not to relate that to Jim. He was relatively sure that didn’t count even if he was rather trapped. He could handle Jim. Eventually. Somehow.]

No worries there. I could probably say ‘I love you’ convincingly enough but I have no interest in any follow through. An experiment is only as good as one invests in it. I have far more important things to do than figure out what is so great about kissing or holding hands. A lack of knowledge there has hardly had a negative impact on my work.

Good to know you won't be intentionally going about breaking any hearts to prove some hypothesis. Too faithfully married to your work.

Well, and I've already seen it done. No reason to repeat the experiment on my own terms.

[John frowned at that a bit.]

What happened?

Oh, she dumped him in the end but from what I can tell she doesn't really hold his intentions against him. You'd think a girl would have a bit more self respect than to just accept someone dated her out of boredom and curiosity but, well, as I said, she did end it.

Whoever did that to her sounds like a right bastard. Probably deserves a bit more than simply getting dumped.

He has many good features. Interacting with people isn't among them. Rather why we get along.

Good features like... what, exactly? Can't say I know too many blokes I'd classify as "good" who'd also yank a girl's emotions around for the fun of it.

Not just the fun. I'm sure there was a level of research involved. He's clever. Ambitious. Methodical. Spontaneous.

[Sherlock shrugs his face.]

One is never bored when it comes to him.

Research? Oh, premeditated heartbreak. Even better.

If he purposefully went out to manipulate that girl, what makes you think he won't do the same to you?

Trust me, John; I can handle him. I have something she never did: his respect.

This is all beside the point, however. The point had been that I have no interest in engaging in a relationship for scientific purposes alone. I think we can stick to that being enough said on the matter.

[John gave him a slightly skeptical look for a moment, but he eventually just sighed a little and shrugged.]

If you say so. But with how shady you make him sound, if that's the type of bloke you consider a friend, your criteria for companionship is pretty odd.

Though don't get me wrong, I really am glad you don't find it necessary to repeat his actions and see if you get a different outcome.

[Sherlock nodded. As he said, he'd spoken enough on the matter.]

I can always just observe you and your romantic conquest. How your behavior deviates in a relationship from normal John. I'm sure I could present quite interesting graphs and pie charts to demonstrate the facts in a functional means to evaluate her compatibility in regards to your lifestyle and life quality.

[Wait, observation of dates? That sounded an awful lot like... oh God.]

If all that's a long-winded request to follow me on any potential dates I may have, my answer is an emphatic no.

Why not?

Because, Sherlock, the whole point of a date is to be alone with the other person! Not to know, or even just suspect, that someone is peering at the two of you from the bushes somewhere!

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