sortinghat_logs | Shadow Event Log

[John had been moving along as fast as he could with his gaze firmly set on the ground a few steps ahead of him, as if this could help him escape the shade that had been tormenting him since the start of the day.

When someone - or something - seized his arm, he took in a sharp breath and pivoted defensively, though it wasn't quite enough to completely loosen the grip on his arm. The surge of adrenaline began to subside when he saw that it was Sherlock.]

Since this morning, just before breakfast. You were right, Sherlock, too damned right. I should have listened closer... should have taken it as a warning instead of thinking you had a bloody fever.

I’m quite accustomed to cynicism. However, I’ve spoken with Professor Donoghue. He believes there may be black magic involved. Your being affected has rather put a damper on my theories of it being some sort of retaliatory attack on purebloods but no matter. What is it saying? What is it like? Can you see it or is it just a voice?

You’re going to hurt him. You’re an idiot for mentioning Dark Magic around him as it is. You never think, really think, about what you’re saying other than if it is intellectually integral. He was tortured by dark wizards, you absolute idiot. Learn to think with your heart, Sherlock, I swear to you you do have one.

Dark magic. Right. Makes sense; it's got a very... familiar feel to it. Speaking as a Muggleborn, nobody with any sense would dare to pull something like this against Purebloods. Could you imagine what would happen to a Muggleborn in Azkaban if they got caught?

And the thing. It's... um, I can see it. It looks like me, only a smirking, mocking shade of me. As for what it says... it's very, er...

Truthful.

... candid.

Nearly the same in all manner, then. But why...

[Sherlock let go of his arm to look about, inspecting John in all areas of light to try and see if he could see for himself someone else's shade.]

Though you make one mistake, John, in assuming the perpetrator cares anything for repercussions. Revenge on this level is rarely acted out in ones own best interest. Regardless, your affliction rather cements it. This is an attack on Hogwarts at large, much like the campsite issue.

Edited 2012-11-09 00:43 (UTC)

[Though frowning in slight consternation, John allowed Sherlock to get a good look at him from all angles. It was far from the worst thing he'd had to put up with so far that day, and perhaps the unusual Ravenclaw could put his findings to good use in stopping this thing.]

I didn't go to the camp, so I can't speak from personal experience, but what you're saying does make this sound rather similar. But who would do it?

Looks like the war's not as over as people like to think. But you already knew that. The war's never ended for you. But maybe the next time you're on the wrong end of a Death Eater's wand, they'll have the decency to finish what they started.

[John's brows furrowed and his lips pressed into a firm, grim line. His shoulders tensed.]

What did it say?

[It was interesting to observe the signals of conversation without hearing the other side. It was hard not to be curious.]

[God, the shade just had to go on that angle again while he was around someone who was practically a mind reader, didn't it?]

It doesn't matter.

Poking at insecurities? Salt on old wounds? General attitude of superiority being used to undermine your mental health and overall life satisfaction? Says the things you think to yourself sometimes but have had in the past the general comfort in knowing no one else perhaps thinks the same? Blames you for your own misfortune where you once deflected the guilt somewhere else?

Shut up. You’re being annoying. Just leave him alone.

[John squinted his eyes shut and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. Why did he ever think deflection could work on Sherlock Holmes?]

You missed 'very insistent that I ought to have died'. Otherwise, about 50% of what you said applies.

He's still basically a stranger, you know. And a Pureblood at that. And yet here you are opening up to him more than the friends you shut yourself away from for over a year. Even I'm stumped on that - and that's saying a lot.

[Sherlock’s brow arched at that]

Really? Mine’s rather of the opinion I’m doing a fine job killing myself as is and should actually work a bit more on self-preservation. It’s fascinating, don’t you think? While mine goes on about what’s best for me, yours insists the best is over. Maybe there is something still to say about this mudblood verses pureblood attack scheme. That or it says some very interesting things about us as individuals.

You just said mudblood.

[Sherlock froze for a second, losing his roll and the rather intense gleam in his eyes as he traced his words and---yep.]

Have I been wrong yet? Shut up and walk away before you make an ever bigger arse of yourself.

Muggleborn. I mean to say. [He cleared his throat.] Muggleborn. Obviously.

Edited 2012-11-09 16:02 (UTC)

See? He even uses that word so casually. You're really going about this pathetic, half-hearted re-socialization process backwards. If you made any sense, you'd be steering clear of this guy. But that wouldn't be challenging and self-defeating, would it?

[John sighed.]

Thank you for correcting yourself, but don't say that again. I've told you before that I hate it.

And there's a lot of things I'd call this whole mess, but 'fascinating' isn't really one of them. People are being emotionally terrorized - yourself included. That's horrible. People are already being hurt mentally by this... and they could get hurt physically if they decide to listen to some of the things being said.

Well, maybe the idiots will but anyone of any intelligence certainly stands a fair chance against it.

[Sherlock tapped his fingertips together, their steeple a breath away from his lips.]

I’ve had it wrong from the start. I thought this was a very elegant spell but when you consider all the factors, it’s really quite base. Mischief without purpose. Indiscriminate by design to simply cause mayhem and pain. Neat.

[He smirks a bit, becoming physically restless with growing excitement.]

We’re all pawns alike. Do you see? The perpetrator could be anyone from a vindictive wizard to a misguided one who thinks shared pain will cause unification. Right reasons, wrong action; wrong action, wrong reasons. Even in the former case of the bad wizard, they’ve given themselves a fool proof alibi in their own guilt with a reflective motive. A good person surely would have put in a safeguard against permanent damage, though. That’s certainly one way to flush out a motive.

You’re advocating suicide now?

I’m advocating science. People pay for knowledge all the time. You have to play with high stakes to get the prize sometimes.

You’re an idiot.

And you’re a magically created phantom . Excuse me if I don’t trust you all that far with opinions on my aptitude.

[Sherlock smiled at John. Oh, yes, good; you’re still here.]

Shall we?

[Yeah, John was still there, and he was staying put - at least until he spoke his mind.]

No.

First of all, no, it bloody well isn't neat. It's torment. It's vile. It's not... not something to look at like it's some new toy! People are suffering and the way you're talking it's like Santa left you a nice big, shiny box under the Christmas tree!

Second, if someone succumbed to their phantom it would be terrible, no matter their intelligence. You don't have to be an idiot to fall to pressure, especially when it's some twisted version of your own thoughts saying it. And even if they were unintelligent, it's still a bloody life!

This - everything you just said - is not good, Sherlock. I want to help you stop this, but you can't keep treating it with such flippancy.

[Sherlock frowned slightly.]

And how much ground have you covered simply worrying over their health and safety? My thoughts serve me well. Thoughts are all I need.

You'll never change his mind. Who'd listen to you?

[John shook his head, attempting to brush off what the shade was saying.]

And how happy are you, Sherlock? How fulfilled? I've spent more than a year shutting people out and stuck on my thoughts. Now there's this dark version of them yammering at me. And I've been damned miserable the entire time.

I can't keep living like that, if it could be called living.

[The shade seemed to wince and, for a moment, it flickered before regaining its sneer.]

People need more than just their thoughts.

[Sherlock's frown grew even more set and the anxiousness died from his stance.]

... Thoughts are all I can share, John. Happy or not.

Having seen you at the memorial, though, I agree with you on some points: you've tormented yourself enough before the shade. There's nothing wrong with you.

[The shade just laughed at that.]

Why? The sociopath thing?

And you saw me at the memorial? But I didn't really do anything. Just stood in the crowd.

You didn't have to do anything. Watching you in your honest reaction told me everything I needed to know about what you felt and how real it was for you. As you can imagine, it's hard on several levels for someone like me to understand what those deaths meant for muggle born wizards and witches. Without uttering a single word, you told me. And having observed everyone in the room, your reaction to the display was... You are a very genuine man, John. Good people have bad things happen to them all the time. It's a fact of life and rather a fact of our current situation. The manner in which you carry on is amazing. The fact that it must be endured and not conquered is less a certainty and more a choice, however.

And yes. That.

[For a long moment, John didn't say anything, rather surprised by Sherlock's praise. And as he tried to process that praise, one thing cemented in his mind: there was no way Sherlock Holmes was a sociopath, high-functioning or otherwise. There was probably something about him that made him different from other people, but certainly not that.]

I still don't see anything extraordinary in it, but... thank you, I suppose.

And it's not that I'm choosing to endure this thing than conquer it. I really want to help you stop this thing, Sherlock. More than I've wanted many things in a very long time. All I'm asking is that you appreciate what people are going through and treat it with the weight it deserves. I'm not even asking you to sympathize. Just understand that they're human beings going through an extremely tough moment in their life and don't mouth off about it to their face like it's little more than a puzzle.

[Sherlock thinks on this for a second... then nods.]

Alright... How do I... like you, is it?

[He adjust his posture and facial expressions to mirror John's more closely. ]

Is this better?

Ah, well, you don't have to react just like me. But I suppose I don't mind being a template of sorts. And in this situation, being a bit grim is probably the better option.

You look ridiculous and, by extension, are making him look ridiculous. What are you even trying to do? What's the goal here?

[John shut his eyes and shook his head.]

Nope, I'm sick and tired of listening to you right now, so shut it. [He opened his eyes. The shade was still there, but slightly dimmer and looking more irritated than ever. John gave one determined nod to Sherlock.] Thank you. It's good that you're at least willing to try what I asked. I'll help you. Got any ideas?

[Sherlock smiled a little but quickly masked it right back into the slightly grim expression John had requested.]

I say one of us drowns in the pool. Easy enough for resuscitation and it will certainly test whether or not the shade has any real interest in our well-being or is pure and simple Dark Magic sent to harm us.

[... and it can be hard for John to maintain his own grim determination when such a huge invitation for snark is laid before him.]

Is there a non-drowning option? I've gone most of my life having not drowned, and it seems a shame to break such a long and illustrious record.

Jumping or falling from heights could resort in accidental death and most other means of threatening oneself inflicts lasting damage. Really, drowning is quite perfect for this experiment. No body damage is sustained if resuscitated quickly and the means to attempting it can be as simple as a bowel and determination.

[Sherlock put his hands in his robe pockets.]

I've no problem being the one to drown. We're not exactly short a volunteer either in which case.

Right, you might not have a problem with you potentially killing yourself, but I do.

And putting aside things like potential brain damage and death, if the teachers found out about this wonderful plan of yours, I'm sure we'd get stuck with detention for the rest of our natural lives.

Edited 2012-11-12 14:28 (UTC)

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