sortinghat_logs | Shadow Event Log

See? He even uses that word so casually. You're really going about this pathetic, half-hearted re-socialization process backwards. If you made any sense, you'd be steering clear of this guy. But that wouldn't be challenging and self-defeating, would it?

[John sighed.]

Thank you for correcting yourself, but don't say that again. I've told you before that I hate it.

And there's a lot of things I'd call this whole mess, but 'fascinating' isn't really one of them. People are being emotionally terrorized - yourself included. That's horrible. People are already being hurt mentally by this... and they could get hurt physically if they decide to listen to some of the things being said.

Well, maybe the idiots will but anyone of any intelligence certainly stands a fair chance against it.

[Sherlock tapped his fingertips together, their steeple a breath away from his lips.]

I’ve had it wrong from the start. I thought this was a very elegant spell but when you consider all the factors, it’s really quite base. Mischief without purpose. Indiscriminate by design to simply cause mayhem and pain. Neat.

[He smirks a bit, becoming physically restless with growing excitement.]

We’re all pawns alike. Do you see? The perpetrator could be anyone from a vindictive wizard to a misguided one who thinks shared pain will cause unification. Right reasons, wrong action; wrong action, wrong reasons. Even in the former case of the bad wizard, they’ve given themselves a fool proof alibi in their own guilt with a reflective motive. A good person surely would have put in a safeguard against permanent damage, though. That’s certainly one way to flush out a motive.

You’re advocating suicide now?

I’m advocating science. People pay for knowledge all the time. You have to play with high stakes to get the prize sometimes.

You’re an idiot.

And you’re a magically created phantom . Excuse me if I don’t trust you all that far with opinions on my aptitude.

[Sherlock smiled at John. Oh, yes, good; you’re still here.]

Shall we?

[Yeah, John was still there, and he was staying put - at least until he spoke his mind.]

No.

First of all, no, it bloody well isn't neat. It's torment. It's vile. It's not... not something to look at like it's some new toy! People are suffering and the way you're talking it's like Santa left you a nice big, shiny box under the Christmas tree!

Second, if someone succumbed to their phantom it would be terrible, no matter their intelligence. You don't have to be an idiot to fall to pressure, especially when it's some twisted version of your own thoughts saying it. And even if they were unintelligent, it's still a bloody life!

This - everything you just said - is not good, Sherlock. I want to help you stop this, but you can't keep treating it with such flippancy.

[Sherlock frowned slightly.]

And how much ground have you covered simply worrying over their health and safety? My thoughts serve me well. Thoughts are all I need.

You'll never change his mind. Who'd listen to you?

[John shook his head, attempting to brush off what the shade was saying.]

And how happy are you, Sherlock? How fulfilled? I've spent more than a year shutting people out and stuck on my thoughts. Now there's this dark version of them yammering at me. And I've been damned miserable the entire time.

I can't keep living like that, if it could be called living.

[The shade seemed to wince and, for a moment, it flickered before regaining its sneer.]

People need more than just their thoughts.

[Sherlock's frown grew even more set and the anxiousness died from his stance.]

... Thoughts are all I can share, John. Happy or not.

Having seen you at the memorial, though, I agree with you on some points: you've tormented yourself enough before the shade. There's nothing wrong with you.

[The shade just laughed at that.]

Why? The sociopath thing?

And you saw me at the memorial? But I didn't really do anything. Just stood in the crowd.

You didn't have to do anything. Watching you in your honest reaction told me everything I needed to know about what you felt and how real it was for you. As you can imagine, it's hard on several levels for someone like me to understand what those deaths meant for muggle born wizards and witches. Without uttering a single word, you told me. And having observed everyone in the room, your reaction to the display was... You are a very genuine man, John. Good people have bad things happen to them all the time. It's a fact of life and rather a fact of our current situation. The manner in which you carry on is amazing. The fact that it must be endured and not conquered is less a certainty and more a choice, however.

And yes. That.

[For a long moment, John didn't say anything, rather surprised by Sherlock's praise. And as he tried to process that praise, one thing cemented in his mind: there was no way Sherlock Holmes was a sociopath, high-functioning or otherwise. There was probably something about him that made him different from other people, but certainly not that.]

I still don't see anything extraordinary in it, but... thank you, I suppose.

And it's not that I'm choosing to endure this thing than conquer it. I really want to help you stop this thing, Sherlock. More than I've wanted many things in a very long time. All I'm asking is that you appreciate what people are going through and treat it with the weight it deserves. I'm not even asking you to sympathize. Just understand that they're human beings going through an extremely tough moment in their life and don't mouth off about it to their face like it's little more than a puzzle.

[Sherlock thinks on this for a second... then nods.]

Alright... How do I... like you, is it?

[He adjust his posture and facial expressions to mirror John's more closely. ]

Is this better?

Ah, well, you don't have to react just like me. But I suppose I don't mind being a template of sorts. And in this situation, being a bit grim is probably the better option.

You look ridiculous and, by extension, are making him look ridiculous. What are you even trying to do? What's the goal here?

[John shut his eyes and shook his head.]

Nope, I'm sick and tired of listening to you right now, so shut it. [He opened his eyes. The shade was still there, but slightly dimmer and looking more irritated than ever. John gave one determined nod to Sherlock.] Thank you. It's good that you're at least willing to try what I asked. I'll help you. Got any ideas?

[Sherlock smiled a little but quickly masked it right back into the slightly grim expression John had requested.]

I say one of us drowns in the pool. Easy enough for resuscitation and it will certainly test whether or not the shade has any real interest in our well-being or is pure and simple Dark Magic sent to harm us.

[... and it can be hard for John to maintain his own grim determination when such a huge invitation for snark is laid before him.]

Is there a non-drowning option? I've gone most of my life having not drowned, and it seems a shame to break such a long and illustrious record.

Jumping or falling from heights could resort in accidental death and most other means of threatening oneself inflicts lasting damage. Really, drowning is quite perfect for this experiment. No body damage is sustained if resuscitated quickly and the means to attempting it can be as simple as a bowel and determination.

[Sherlock put his hands in his robe pockets.]

I've no problem being the one to drown. We're not exactly short a volunteer either in which case.

Right, you might not have a problem with you potentially killing yourself, but I do.

And putting aside things like potential brain damage and death, if the teachers found out about this wonderful plan of yours, I'm sure we'd get stuck with detention for the rest of our natural lives.

Edited 2012-11-12 14:28 (UTC)

Hardly any potential for death at all. You wouldn’t let me die.

That aside, you have a better idea for how to test if these shadows mean to harm us or better us? If we can discover the motive, we’re one step closer to uncovering the wizard behind it.

Of course I wouldn't, but just because I know CPR doesn't mean I'm terribly keen on having to potentially drag your unconscious, waterlogged arse to the medical wing if something went wrong.

... right, yeah, okay I don't have a better idea, but I don't think that gives any more weight to Operation Try To Drown.

Leave it to you to have a sense of proportion.

[Somehow, that doesn’t sound like a compliment.]

Fine. We’ll do nothing and just wait around and listen to their insufferable commentary, shall we?

[Although the shade was currently in a lull, who knew how long that would last. And as potentially deadly as Sherlock's plan was, at least it was something. John sighed heavily, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.]

Just. Put it down in writing that, if anything goes wrong, none of it was my idea and that I actively tried to stop you. I bet your family's terrifying and I don't want them pointing fingers at me.

You just want to see how something so stupidly dangerous pans out.

Shut it, I'm still not paying any attention to you.

My family could make things very inconvenient for you. Best not to anger them.

[Sherlock starts off towards the boy’s bathroom]

A sink will do, really. Just need enough to breathe it in. Do you think it hurts to drown?

Oh, right, sure, like me agreeing to let you try drowning yourself wouldn't anger them.

[John follows, not even noticing that he's keeping pace with Sherlock's quick gait.]

Have you ever had a bit of water go down the wrong way when you were drinking? You know how even that little bit of water burns and gets you coughing up a storm? Multiply that by... by a lot. So. Yes, probably!

It’s hardly the worst thing I’ve ever done. By most standards. Generally they’re quite good about seeing things in perspective.

[Sherlock holds the door to the bathroom open for John.]

Now then, experiment parameters. We can’t hear each other’s shades so I’ll be counting on your account of yours’ dialogue. What we’re looking for is a stark change in tune which will try and stop us from enacting my untimely demise. Do they have our best interests at heart of are they trying to drive us to suicide in the first place? Understand?

Jesus Christ, I can't even imagine what you've got up to where potential drowning gets a shrug and a "oh, that's not so bad then".

[The bathroom door shuts behind him.]

Understood.

This is stupid.

Mine just said that this is stupid and for once I'm in complete, no-hesitation agreement with it.

Mine's not too please, either.

That is an understatement. Do you have any idea how much it will affect him if you really do manage to kill yourself? In front of him? With his assistance? You are a threat to his sanity. Try thinking about someone else for a change. Honestly try.

[Sherlock walked over to a sink, not even about to entertain the idea of drowning in a public toilet. He stopped it up and shrugged off his robe as the water filled up the basin.]

[John eyed the water warily.]

Er, last chance for you to come to your senses and realize this is actually a pretty terrible idea. You just said yours isn't pleased - isn't that already a sign that they don't just want to kill us?

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