PETTING ZOO

[shnpc]

WHO: Everyone and their pets!
TONE: Zoo-like
RATING: PG/PG-13 for possible naked pets
WHEN: June 1st - 2nd
WHERE: Anywhere! You can put a location in the subject line if you want
WHAT: Pets have turned human in a Transfigurations spell gone wrong.

Comments

[aboxofcats]

[Don't mind Roger, Sprite, she's just shoving her face in your hair to get a good whiff of your scent.]

Oh.

You smell like Dave.

But.

You're not Dave.

Who are you, Not Dave?

[prototypical_dave]

[Squirm writhe push fight noooooooooooooooo get off get off get off getoffgetoffgetoff STRANGER DANGER]

Dave is my whoman. How do you know Dave?

[aboxofcats]

[NOPE you are tiny and scrawny and she is a bit overfed with her face in your hair.]

He doesn't like Daddy's kit. [Sniff sniff sniff sniff.]

Whoman?

What's a whoman?

Is it a human you don't know?

No, that's silly.

[prototypical_dave]

H-human? [It takes effort for him to say it the right way - that kind of vowel sticks in his throat.]

Can you get off of me?

[aboxofcats]

Oh.

[Oh oh, her eyes are lighting up.]

You're his owl.

Aren't you?

[prototypical_dave]

[His feathers would be spazzing out all over the place right now if he still had them. His shades were knocked off, revealing his big owlish yellow eyes.]

And you're a cat.

[aboxofcats]

[If she could purr she would. In fact she's going to do it anyway. It may be just rolling her tongue but it's good enough for her.]

I am.

And I just.

Love.

Owls.

[prototypical_dave]

[Maybe if Sprite was a big owl, like an eagle owl or sth, maybe he wouldn't be so scared. But that is not the case, and this cat is now the size of a grown human and is making noises at him. Before he knows it, there's wetness on his face, and he's shivering like he's going to come apart at the seams.]

[aboxofcats]

[Oh no, she's upset him. It's like when there are new kittens in the house and they spend most of their time sleeping or crying. ZsaZsa and Lord Paddington taught her how to deal with crying kittens a long time ago.

Roger lowers her head, giving the trembling teenager a gentle nuzzle on his cheek with her nose and then flicking her tongue across his cheekbone. Shoosh shoosh, little owl boy. Let her make it all better.]

[prototypical_dave]

[Sprite lets out a miserable whimper and flinches away as the cat leans down toward him. His heart is hammering its way out of his chest, and he's pumped with impotent adrenalin, and when the wet tongue slides across his face he prepares to surrender to the black embrace of death.

Warm liquid pools out around him as he lays there whimpering and trying to hold back the salty fluid in his eyes.]

[aboxofcats]

[Oops.]

...Dave didn't litter train you very well.

[prototypical_dave]

[Nope, shaking and crying and waiting for the cold embrace of death.]

[aboxofcats]

[Clearly this is a call for more nuzzles and kisses.]

[spangledplan]

[Steve was not...expecting any of this when he came down the hall. He stares at the two of them, raising an eyebrow slowly.]

Excuse me?

[doctorkishitani]

[Shinra is making his way down the hall when he notices that Rogers appears to be in a state of shock. He stops and follows the other boy's gaze, taking in the scene before him before turning back to offer Rogers a reassuring smile.]

I think he's incontinent. He's too young to have prostate complications, so it's probably all due to stress.

[aboxofcats]

[Her head pops up, staring right back at both Steve and Shinra.]

What's a prostate?

[prototypical_dave]

[His eyes crack open and he sees salvation. It's one of Dave's roommates!]

Can someone help me?

[doctorkishitani]

[He turns to face Roger and Sprite, offering them an amiable smile.]

It's a gland found just beneath the bladder in most mammalian males. It secretes a mildly acidic fluid that makes up a significant portion of seminal fluid!

[prototypical_dave]

...Can someone go get Dave.

[aboxofcats]

[No one cares, Sprite.]

...Oh.

Okay.

[All of that went straight over her head.]

[doctorkishitani]

[He beams at Roger before turning his gaze to Sprite]

That's its basic function, anyway.
Is there anything else you'd like to know?

And Dave is one of the Gryffindors, isn't he? I think I've spoken to him a few times. Is he a friend of yours?

[spangledplan]

[He stares at Shinra, shaking his head sloooowly before stepping towards the two animal-humans.]

Is there anything we can help you with, sir?

[prototypical_dave]

[Sad, wide owlish eyes stare up at Steve pleadingly as he gestures subtly to the cat on top of him in a "this. you can help me with this. please help." gesture.]

Um. Yes.

[aboxofcats]

[If she had a tail it would be twitching.]

Dave is his human.

I thought he was Dave.

But he's not Dave.