sortinghat_logs | Well this won't be awkward.

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Well this won't be awkward.

WHO: Jade Harley, Tavros Nitram
TONE: Awkward, therapeutic~ and... cute?
RATING: PG or PG13 for Jade's language!!!
WHEN: Late afternoon, after classes.
WHERE: By the lake!
WHAT: Tavros asks Jade for Karkat advice and junk! Also they talk about their new family probably.
STATUS: Ongoing!
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[He hadn't been sure where to ask her to meet. He didn't want somewhere totally private because that would have probably been more awkward. He'd also really hesitated to even ask Jade, considering it hadn't been too long since he'd confessed his crush on her. But in a way, he'd actually gotten over it a lot after telling her. But it was still really weird to be asking her to meet him somewhere so they could talk. In the end, he'd decided on a semi private spot near the lake, and decided that she was really the only one who might actually understand his position.

So! He was waiting there, levitating a small stone idly to pass the time.]

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[And this is Jade skipping as she's going to meet up with Tavros. She's still excited about the ~magical~ revelation that she and John were super secret twins the entire time, so seeing Tavros prompts her to wave animatedly and call.]

Tavroooooooos! Hi, Tavros!!

[Tavros turns his attention to Jade, the pebble falls as he loses his concentration on the magic. He can't help but smile at how happy she seems. Surely she wasn't so happy to see him! It must be something else.]

Uhhh... hey! You, seem happy today. I mean, not that you aren't usually happy. But, more than usual I mean...

Well! [She stops and fluffs out her skirt a little before sitting down, still all smiles as she speaks.] I got some pretty cool news with John's last journal entry! It turns out we're twins, can you believe that??

[Yes, just that they're twins, no feelings of abandonment or curiosity about why they were separated, just a girl finding out she's her best friend's sister.]

But I am not here to tell you about John and me, right?

[Tavros's eyes widen in genuine surprise. Wow, that was really weird... But in a good way! But it's so strange how everyone was finding out about new family members.]

Oh, wow... I think that's, kind of... uh, ironic? Considering that... I kind of, found out I had a brother, on Easter! I just, haven't told anyone yet because, it was a lot to process... But, it's really cool that we've got new family that, we didn't even know about!

[At her next words, he pauses and shifts uncomfortably a little.] Uhh... It's, not why I asked you to meet me, but if you want to talk about it, then, we can! Because, the thing I want to talk to you about is, uh... kind of sad, and also, sort of a long story.

I think it's cool, too! You deserve happy news like that, I think!

[She frowns and touches his shoulder lightly, shaking her head.]

I am here for you and I am listening. You can start talking about it whenever you are ready, Tavros.

[Tavros sighs, and looks away, frowning sadly.]

I... had a fight with Karkat. [He pauses for a second before added,] I just thought, um, maybe you'd... possibly be the one to, understand. I mean, more than anyone else.

[A jolt of pain crosses her face before she looks down. It surprised Jade how much talking about Karkat still hurt, and the fact that Tavros was fighting with him right now as well...

Jade didn't want their relationship to be eroded as well. But chances were it was something Karkat did to make him angry...so many mixed feelings.]

Oh...what happened? Did he hurt your feelings? [Ask a stupid question, obviously hurt feelings were involved, hurt feelings were always involved. Come on, Harley, keep it together, your friend needs you.]

[Tavros doesn't see the look of pain, because he's too busy not looking at her. If he'd seen it, he would've felt all kinds of guilty for even bringing it up.]

He...uh. [Wow, he suddenly feels really, really awkward because... he kind of has to tell her about...what happened in the shack, and. Holy crap that's just really awkward and he doesn't know if he can.]

He... lied to me, about something. [He doesn't mean to be evasive, but he's just... not able to get out what Karkat actually lied about.] ...And, uh, also insulted Peter Pan, too... [Because that's just as important and horrendous.]

...[Insulted Peter Pan. How hypocritical, jumping on Dave as he did for insulting Tavros with Peter Pan, then turning around and doing it himself.

But in that case...]

I don't think he meant to hurt you with lying...and I don't think he meant to insult Peter Pan either. He knows how much Peter Pan means to you, and you know how much you mean to all of your friends right?

[Tavros sighs, his face turning red as he looks at her.] I... o-okay, maybe I'm leaving some, things out... Because, it might've been my fault that, uh, P-Peter Pan got mentioned, anyway. [The truth is, he feels really guilty for actually saying what he did to Karkat. But he'd just been so mad, or... something, when he'd said it.

Tavros bites his lip and shakily reaches into the pockets of his robe, producing his journal. With some fumbling, he turns the pages back to the entry where he and Karkat had the fight.]

H-Here, I... I can't, explain everything, because I... I mean, it's just...c-complicated, and, really embarrassing, so here... Just, read it...I guess... [He's shaking as he extends the journal to her.]

[She takes it gingerly and reads, making sure not to skip over a single word so she can grasp the full situation.]

[However, getting the full situation felt more like a bag of rocks being dropped on her head.

In Jade's mind the gears are turning, processing and feeding into her doubts and worries...they were right. She was right all along. They were doomed from the start.]

[...Fuck! Fuck you, Harley, you selfish bitch!

She can't believe she's thinking about her own situation when she's supposed to be helping Tavros through it. She pushes the journal back towards him, hands shaking but trying the best she can to steady them.]

...I...I think...you should...talk to him.

[Jade hurriedly removes her glasses and rubs them with her sleeve as an excuse to look down again. Pay attention to something else. Something. Anything.]

You were both...very mean. It's not right. He had good intentions and...people do weird things when they're scared, so...

[He doesn't look at her, hasn't looked at her since handing over the journal. Instead he's just hugging himself, staring down at the ground and trying not to shake violently. This was so stressful and so awkward. When she hands him the journal, he takes it silently, and waits for her to speak. Under normal circumstances, he might've picked up her tone, noticed something off, but he still can't even look at her.]

I-I know, I was... [He sounds really upset at that.] But... I-I asked him, if he remembered anything, and he said no. And I'm just so... c-confused, about everything, and him lying about it was just...just... really, really upsetting!

[He pauses for a few seconds, hugging himself tighter.] I'm...s-scared, to talk to him.

[Gently...gently... Jade touches his shoulder again and leans down so she can make eye contact with him.]

I know. I think he is scared, too. But you do not have to be scared, I am here with you and whatever happens I will always be with you. And Karkat...I think if you just tell him how you are feeling, he'll understand. Even if he's not very good at looking at things from another person's eyes, he can recognize feelings. I know he can. He's thoughtful in his own way.

Tavros, I think Peter Pan would want you to talk to Karkat as well. Reach deep down into your heart and find strength in your pain. Please.

[Tavros shifts at the touch on his shoulder, and when he feels Jade leaning down, he hesitantly turns to meet her gaze, so many feelings evident in his eyes. Pain, fear, embarrassment, confusion, they're all there plain to see. And after she finishes speaking, tears are welling in them.]

I...I just, I don't... [He swallows, trying to prevent himself from turning into a stammering pile of nerves. He takes a deep, shaky breath and tries again.] I-I don't know, if I can because...the dreams. I...they're- they make, everything so much more, difficult and... confusing, and...

[He trails off, but then his stomach clenches as he remembers what she said about Peter Pan. He...He didn't want to let Peter Pan down. At all. But then he remembers that Jade is also having a fight with Karkat, and... He's been learning a lot about hypocrisy lately! So...] ...Peter Pan would, also want you to talk to him, too...

...Yes. I should be brave and talk to him, too. I need to be a good example for you.

[But it hurts her; her feelings writing around in her stomach, her eyes itching and burning from the tears she's holding in, her mind reprimanding her for her weaknesses.

It's too much to take in one session.]

I...[can't tell him that I still like him, that would just make things worse. Just fuck things up more, like always, like always always always.] Have an idea. We will both talk to him on our own time...and tell each other how it goes. And we cannot put it off or be dishonest! It will be a Peter Pan promise between us.

[Tavros's stomach flipped a little, not entirely in a bad way, but definitely in an awkward way. It meant a lot, that Jade would be willing to set an example for him. If she did it, then maybe he could do it too. But he was so nervous, because it meant he had to talk to Karkat, and... and there were just so many reasons, and he was so scared.

And he also had never made a Peter Pan promise. Ever. Not once in his life. That seemed like a really big commitment to make. What if he let Peter Pan down? But... no, no, he could do it. He would have to do it. For Peter Pan, and also for Jade, who was being so awesome and strong. He wished he could be as strong as her...

He chewed on his bottom lip, thinking about it for a few seconds, before shakily holding out his pinkie finger.]

I...I don't, know how to, um, physically do a Peter Pan promise, so let's...uh, pretend a pinkie promise is, a Peter Pan one...and, it's...a-a deal.

It's a Peter Pan pinkie promise, then! [This was better, some positivity to feed off on was enough to help her put back on the chipper facade. She would have to keep this moment in mind whenever she was actually able to get Karkat alone...chances were that he wouldn't want to talk to her and would just leave her waiting.

Shut the hell up, Harley.]

This is definitely important, okay? I am Wendy and you are Peter, we must go face Captain Hook together!

...Well, except Karkat is not as mean as Captain Hook, hehehe.

[Tavros can't help but let out a small giggle. Peter Pan pinke promise, it just rolled so well off the tongue. He liked it a lot. But then he turns red at Jade's words. She'd called him Peter, and... she was Wendy. That was both really awesome, and also a little awkward. But mostly awesome.

He nods, giving her a small smile. The look in his eye is definitely a lot less scared and upset, but there's definitely uncertainty there. But he's determined to do this now.]

Y-Yeah! That's... haha. He's, definitely not as mean as Hook, and... I definitely, don't want to cut off his hand, so... yeah. Also, I think that... you're going to be a, really good Wendy, because... she's brave, and so are you... Which is, uh, me saying that, I think you can do this...A-And maybe, so can I.

[And then he shifts a little, turning even more red.] I... um, can we...hug now...? I just, f-feel like, maybe that it's the right, thing to do, at this moment and...I-I kind of, uh, just... need one, I think.

[She is your hero, Tavros, it is her.

But for now the hero jumps at the prospect of a friendly hug and wraps her arms around him.]

You do not even have to ask. For a friend I will always give all the hugs, all of them.

[Whoa! Sudden hug attack, he hadn't been expecting it to fast. But he's grateful, definitely, and he wraps his arms around her as well, smiling.]

T-Thanks... You're... um, a really, really great friend, Jade. I'm, really glad that we're friends.

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Well this won't be awkward.

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