BROOM CLEANING + 4TH WALL EVENT

[shnpc]

WHO: The Whole School + ANYONE ELSE
TONE: That shit cray
RATING: PG – PG-13
WHEN: June 9th and 10th
WHERE: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry; Broom cleaning is on the front lawn, but feel free to wander!
WHAT: Students and Teachers are cleaning brooms for the surrounding community in attempt to raise funds. Crazy hijinks ensue when the 4th wall is promptly broken.
NOTES: Use any comment format you like, and tag around! Have a good time and enjoy your stay.

Comments

[polariity]

[Honestly, he would have much preferred apparating than flying here. So much simpler. Less strain on his butt. But what can you do?]

[The man wandering around the school grounds today is a bit hard to miss. He's tall and relatively well built, with dark skin. What's most striking, however, would be his eyes- both completely dully opaque and one color. His right is blue and his left is red. In one hand is a broom, underneath the same arm is a cat carrier, and he's trying to read a letter while muttering in French. His wand is stuck in one of his suspenders, which is openly visible from his open robe.]

[What. Suspenders are fashionable.]

[He doesn't seem to be paying much attention to where he's going, either, and he doesn't much care about it.]

[itsintheblood]

How are you finding the school?

[polariity]

[Nearly dropping the cat carrier- and earning the inhabitants hiss- Artollo looks up.]

Huh? Oh, well, it'sth not bad, but I'm amazed that the uniformth were even changed. [A pause as he rolls his tongue around in his cheek, annoyed at his own lisp.] This place ith thagnant.

[itsintheblood]

Do you need a hand with your things?

[Tess looks around the grounds, she's always finding a new room she didn't know about]

It has a life of it's own some days. The students complain if the uniforms don't change every decade or so.

[polariity]

More like I need directionsth. You know Leijon?

[The rest of her words earn a slight snort and a dry smile.]

Well, with how much magic thith place ith packing, it needs to a little fun now and then. If it didn't, I'd be dithapointed.

[itsintheblood]

The Care of Magical Creature Professor? Not personally, but she'll be around here with the rest of the staff.

Last week all the animals became human.

[quasistellar]

[And what happens when someone doesn't watch where they're going? Collisions, that's what.

It wasn't her fault; Constance knew exactly where she was going. It wasn't as if she didn't know the way to the Quidditch supplies, still.]

...pardon you?

[polariity]

[A small noise of annoyance, but Artollo stifles it so he can glare over the paper.]

You mean pardon 'you'. You have eyeth.

[quasistellar]

I was using mine, unlike you.

[polariity]

Huh, funny, I don't thee any glatheth. I gueth you weren't really uthing them, were you?

[quasistellar]

You have not changed one whit, save for getting even more absent-minded. It's almost impressive, really. How does one manage to get more idiotic over time?

[glaringprotego]

[ Well that is unfortunate, because as he wanders closer to the school, a shadow separates from the bottom of a tree and a small woman comes flying across the grounds. A small army of cats trail after her and gather around Di as she slams into Art. She makes sure to keep the cat carrier aloft but most of her attention is on kissing him very intently. This is very sure to confuse anyone who knows her. ]

[polariity]

[It's the sound of a hundred little cat feet that gets his attention, and Art jerks his up at the last moment in alarm.]

Di-

[Oh, okay, verbal greetings are far too overrated anyway. Dropping the letter and the broom without a care in the world, he wraps his free arm around her tight. The kiss is returned just as passionately. Art's eyes slip shut.]

[There we go. He's more than happy right now.]

[glaringprotego]

[The kiss holds her attention for quite some time. He kisses differently from Sal, she knows, and she likes to figure that out firsthand every single time he comes back home. She finally pulls away, reluctant, but purring in a very contented way.]

Mn...You should have sent an owl ahead Art. Sal purrobably doesn't even know you're here! Ah--you brought something? [Her eyes scoot to the cat carrier and back up] Did you bring me a souvenir from far off lands?

[polariity]

[If Artollo was in possession of both arms, it would probably be a bit harder for her to pull away. Alas, he has to let go.]

[Di really is an amazing witch- vivacious and caring and one of the few women he knows who make actual cat noises in bed and how is that attractive? Sometimes he wonders what would have happened if it had been his child instead of Sal's or if he married Di instead. It always ends up confusing him, so he usually lets it just... be.]

[Stepping back, he hefts up the cat carrier into his hands with a grin.]

Heh, nah, it'sth a bit more native and a bit not. Although, I thwear I thent a magpie to you guyth...

[Because owls are overrated. Although they are less likely to get distracted by shiny objects...]

[Undoing the latch on the carrier, he pulls out a kind of Kneazle, only obviously of a different breed than English ones judging by its near appearance to a different kind of animal.]

[Also it has two heads.]

[That should be mentioned.]

[The kneazle doesn't seem particularly pleased being manhandled by Art, although that might just be broomlag speaking.]

[glaringprotego]

[She can't stop grinning, it's like she's been hit by a terribly strong Cheering Charm. It's just such a wonderful surprise and she can't help but look him over fondly. Magpies, honestly]

And I'm sure it's still pecking at a pile of tins somewhere. You honestly should use an owl, it's more rel--Ohhh.

[She instantly bends to the kneazle's approximate eye level, purring and reaching to stroke behind two of his four ears, both hands immediately set to the task of caressing both heads. The kneazle definitely seems to appreciate it.] Oh you beautiful creature, look at you. Gorgeous. I wonder how you came about these two heads, so odd. Must be magic, I've never known a mutation in the lines that could end up with you. Maybe it's a thing where you're from? You be sure to let me know if you can at some point. [Dierdre glances up at him with an adoringly hopeful look. He must be used to the way she talks to animals like people.] Assuming Art plans to stick around long enough for us to get acquainted.

[wwistful]

[Luckily one of them is observant. Murdoc stops and steps to the side before Artollo can collide with his chest. Whether he shoulders him by accident or on purpose is a mystery, because he's staring ahead as if he hadn't even noticed.]

[polariity]

[Oh no, surely it is a complete accident! After all, such a fine member of Hogwarts' staff would never be so rude. Artollo completely understands.]

[That said, yeah, it is an absolute accident when he smacks his leg into Murdoc's in an attempt to trip him up. Or at least bruise his shin.]

[wwistful]

[Excuse you, Artollo, that shoulder was a total accident! The leg, however, was uncalled for. He stumbles and whirls around to glare at the other man.]

How dare you! How old are you?! Twelve??

[polariity]

[Artollo just tries to look as innocent as possible. It is the kind of innocent expression that's a little too good, as if it has been practiced many times to use in the face of authority.]

Why, Profethor, why ever are you upthet? I jutht arrived!

[nosigntospeakof]

[Sal isn't the most fit wizard in the school. He was a bit of a pudgy teenager thanks to frequent trips to Hufflepuff common room and the kitchens and, while he grew out of the small gut, he was still incredibly out of shape for his age.

But even the threat of becoming winded can't stop him from sprinting across the grass and nearly tackling Art in his excitement to grab his face ad plant a firm kiss on his lips. This sure is a thing people are seeing and no fucks are being given.]

[polariity]

[It's a good thing he's given up the cat carrier for Di, or else Art is pretty sure he would have a pissed off two headed Kneazle carrying a grudge against him.]

[Although that is considerably less important than the fact that there is a certain History of Magic teacher now on top of him and making out with him. Yes. Good. He's missed him.]

[Disregarding the broom- which he only used as an excuse to be honest- he wraps both arms firmly around some of the pudge to keep Sal in place so he can return that enthusiastic kiss. Preferably with maybe a bit of tongue?]

[Coming in today as a surprise was a good plan, it turns out.]

[nosigntospeakof]

[Tongue is always a good option but the pudge touching gets a noise of protest. It's very easily forgivable though because there are few things in life that make Sal happier than Art's visits. He's been gone for so long Sal even started to miss the suspenders.

Suspenders of all things.]

[polariity]

[Hey, these suspenders are awesome! Art can't see why they went out of style.]

[Also, that noise just makes him pinch him at the pudge a little more, maybe venturing near the butt just occasionally. Sorry, Sal, but those are hilarious noises.]

Ehehehehh...

[Yes he is snickering through the kiss.]

[psychiatricfieldday]

[Suspenders are only fashionable if you're old. Say, 900 years or so?

Even though 900 year olds are the worst.

Anyways.

He can see the man with the fascinating eyes, and he knows that a collision is eminent by the way he seems so absorbed in his thoughts. Instead of stepping aside, he grins and pretends to be caught up by glancing at his fob watch, heading straight on towards the other.]