sortinghat_logs | ~Forest of Depression~

[Tavros continues coughing for a few seconds, his throat burning like mad. Finally he stops, and looks extremely embarrassed.]

Uh, sorry for... n-not doing it right, in the first place.

[He brings it back up to his mouth and this time he manages to get some swallowed without choking on it, but he does cough slightly.] On the bright side, um, I think I'm getting used to it...?

[Except no, not really but he doesn't want to sound like a total wimp.] I mean, um, Karkat was right, it kind of does taste like ass. But, uh, maybe ass is an acquired taste, and I'll get used to it!

[Wait, what. That came out wrong.]

[Gamzee laughs again, his weird, honking laugh, pouring himself another generous measure of crappy vodka.] That's what I motherfuckin' think! I mean, there are people all in the world out there who are into that, right? Into all kinds of crazy shit.

My motherfuckin' philosophy is don't be knocking all that crazy shit, 'til you be up and doing it, motherfucker! [raising his glass in a mock toast, then swallowing half of it in a go. Gamzee's never been very good at moderation.]

[Karkat couldn't help but place a hand to his forehead and roll his eyes at that comment. Though he shouldn't have been too surprised. There were really no words for how wrong that sounded. He handed his glass out to Gamzee, letting his hand fall to rest on his knee.]

Well if we're going to be making out I have to be more drunk than this. Hit me.

[Tav's eyes went wide at both of their comments.]

Whoa, uh, wait, wh- making out- what? No, uh, I mean, I'm n- Oh! Oh, haha. Ha. Oh, okay. Uh, you were joking! Haha...hah. That, yeah, uh, that's really funny!

[He brings the cup up to his mouth a little too quickly and bonks himself on his front teeth. Ow. He hopes no one notices that, as he drinks a little more of his booze.]

[There's a fleeting moment when Gamzee's looking at Tavros that an expression of sadness crosses his face - a kind of tired, beaten-in pain, and then he's ducking his head, letting his mass of hair hide his face neatly as he grabs the vodka and pours a generous amount for Karkat.]

I didn't all bring you motherfuckers here to have my motherfuckin' wicked way with you dudes. [He says, and to his credit, his voice sounds totally normal, easy and casual.] I know there ain't no ladies all up in this dusty-fine drink hut to be getting your fancy on.

[Karkat paid no attention to the look Gamzee was shooting Tavros, too wrapped up in his own problems to bother. He hadn't seen Jade since the whole debacle in the Great Hall, but he'd seen Strider's journal entry earlier that day to know what might have happened when the replies went blurry due to the private spell. He pulled his hand back when Gamzee was done pouring his drink, shrugging.]

At the moment I really don't give a shit what happens.

Uhhh...Yeah... [He doesn't really know what to say to that. He fortunately missed Gamzee's look, because he was still recovering from hitting himself in the teeth.]

So, uh, how long does this stuff take to work? Because I, um, don't feel anything! I think. I don't know. What am I, uh, supposed to feel like? I can't remember.

You ain't drunk hardly none. [Gamzee points out, grinning lazily at Tavros.] Can't feed it to your teeth, motherfucker, and expect it to do anything!

But it's good. I mean, nice ... like all the things you worry about usually, you know? All that shit what takes up space in your pan and makes you feel all flat gray and sad inside, it just goes away for a little while. Like, there ain't nothing to be scared of, ever.

[The Slytherin pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, and proceeds to light up, before offering the pack around.]

[For someone like he was, Gamzee was weirdly insightful, Karkat realized as he was partway through his second drink. His stomach gurgled a little in protest at the alcohol invading his too young body but right now, as he said, he didn't give a shit.]

Isn't that why we're fucking doing this in the first place? [He turns his attention to Tavros as he blinks a little at the proffered cigarette packet, reaching for one. Well, if they were doing this, might as well go all the way. His inhibitions were just out the window right now.] Just keep drinking, bro. It'll come.

[Tavros turned a little pink at Gamzee's comment about his teeth. He'd hoped no one had noticed. But in response, he just brought the cup back up to his mouth and drank more, trying not to scrunch up his face.]

Uh, okay. I'll do that, and... I guess I'll, uh, know when it happens, then. [He takes a cigarette from Gamzee, because yep he was gonna go the whole nine yards too, despite the fact his first experience with a cigarette hadn't ended so well. He drank a little more of the booze before sticking it in his mouth and waited for Gamzee to light it like he'd done the one time.]

[And the older boy does. He takes a few deep puffs on his own cigarette, then leans over to light first Tavros's with the cherry of his own, smiling at the Hufflepuff, and then Karkat's in the same way, before sitting back on the table and blowing a stream of smoke at the ceiling.]

Hell yeah. [Says, in deep satisfaction, as he feels the mellow fire of the booze hit, suffusing his limbs with a heave liquidity that he savors. Sometimes maybe he is weirdly insightful, but a lot of the times he's just a dumb kid who never learned how to deal with overwhelmingly negative emotions, who only knows how to drown them instead of face them.]

[Karkat's really only seen people smoke in movies and such, so he quietly observes the other two for a moment. He's rather surprised Tavros even knows how to, but then again he puts it up to Gamzee's influence. He takes a drag for a moment before exhaling, coughing just a little bit but not splutters like it had been with the vodka. This was stupid, but they were teenagers and they were hurting. It was the only reason for being this stupid.

The alcohol is starting to make his head a little fuzzy, given he's almost done with his second drink and he sighs deeply, letting the potion glass dangle between his fingers.]

Shit, what was I even thinking, trying to date Harley? Past me was fucking stupid.

[Tavros coughs as he takes a drag from the cigarette. It's not nearly as bad as when he first smoked, but it still burns his throat quite a bit, and then he takes another drink from his vodka- which makes him cough a bit more, because the burn from both combined was pretty intense.]

K-Karkat, no-cough- don't, uh...I-cough-, I mean we came to get away from all that, uh, st-stuff. Don't talk about her!

[Another drink from the vodka because Jade. And feelings. And he's just a little too happy that they actually broke up- which makes him feel bad. But also oddly proud because he had sort of caused it. But mostly bad. And then he's coughing again because he took another drag from the cigarette.]

[Wow, like a one-two punch right to Gamzee's brain. First, because he'd encouraged Karkat to go after Jade, had genuinely thought they'd work out. Second because now that she's free, that means Tavros can go right on thinking he has a chance with the girl, and focusing all his time and attention on her.

The older boy throws back the rest of his vodka, pours himself another shot.]

Fuck that shit. [declares suddenly] Fuck all a that motherfuckin' shit right up the motherfuckin' arse with a spiked motherfuckin' dildo.

[That reaction makes Karkat snap his head up a little from where it was lowered, blinking just a little before he remembered the reason why he'd worked up the courage to ask Jade out in the first place. He downs the rest of his own drink to avoid his suddenly dry mouth and the anger he can feel boiling in the pit of his stomach among the guilt and self hatred.]

Fuck it with a fucking rusted wrench and take it dry up the fucking arse.

[Tavros freezes up. Oh god, he had to think of something to say, because they were totally expecting him to play along. Weren't they? They totally were. Oh, but it was just so mean...And, he didn't really understand what they even really meant. Uhhh.]

...Bull horns!! Uh, I mean. Um, that'd totally hurt, a lot- uh, e-especially in the, uh...eye?

[Gamzee blinks at Tavros ... then bursts out laughing. Not the mocking kind, but genuine pleased amusement.] Hell yeah, my brother! That would fuck a motherfucker's shit up!

[He hops off the table, and then does his peculiar dancing walk behind Tavros, so he can loop an arm around the Hufflepuff's shoulders from behind, and press his forehead into the younger boy's mohawk.] You always know how to say this shit. Both of you motherfuckers. You always got the right motherfuckin' words.

[The bullhorns comment makes Karkat blink a little before he laughs right along with Gamzee. It's actually more of a chuckle than an outright laugh, the Gryffindor certainly not loose enough for that yet. He hasn't laughed since...shit, probably when he was four. It's still certainly weird to hear Karkat laughing, given he hasn't in his whole three years in Hogwarts.

He takes another drag of his cigarette, coughing before shaking his head.]

Never thought you'd be one for skull fucking, Tav, but that's pretty good.

[Tavros was okay with the laughing, totally fine with Gamzee putting his arm around him putting his forehead in his mohawk. Sure that was a little awkward, but they were laughing- Karkat was laughing, it made him feel included! It definitely made him feel happy and he chuckled along with them- until Karkat's comment. He froze and his eyes went wide.]

Nooooo! No, no, no, uh! No! I didn't, I...no! Shit-! I-I...aaaaahhhhh.

[And then for lack of anything else to do he just brought the cup up to his mouth and chugged the remaining vodka because he didn't know what else to do.]

[Gamzee kept cackle/honking, and then he raised his head and kissed Tavros soundly ... on the ear. Which really, could probably easily be written off as just Gamzee weirdness.]

You need some more, Tavbro. [He tells the smaller boy solemnly, and then snags the other bottle (this one of cheap rye whiskey), and pours Tavros a generous measure.] Okay. So. My finest of fine motherfuckers. Who wants to play a motherfuckin' game?

[Okay, so maybe that hadn't been the smartest thing to say but fuck if Tavros wasn't cute with the way he stammered. Wait what? Where the fuck did that come from? Karkat immediately sobered up that thought by taking another drag of his cigarette, glancing away slightly before looking back at Gamzee with a raised eyebrow.]

Like what? Spin the fucking bottle?

[Tavros drew in a small breath when he felt Gamzee kiss his ear. And a shiver definitely didn't go down the part of the spine he could still feel. And his ear was definitely not tingling once Gamzee pulled away. And he totally didn't let out a nervous little laugh.

He allowed Gamzee to fill his cup back up, while he took another puff of his cigarette-cough- and at Gamzee's question, he was about to answer until Karkat spoke. Spin the bottle... Wasn't that something you played when girls were involved?? Or was he remembering wrong? He was probably definitely remembering wrong, because Gamzee had definitely assured them not making out would be involved. So it was pretty much okay to play spin the bottle, then.]

Uhhh, sure! Okay, um, let's play that, yeah! [After he speaks, he drinks some more.]

[Gamzee blinks, his wide indigo eyes puzzled.] Uh, I was gonna say Murder, Fuck, Kill. [pauses] No, wait a motherfuckin' minute, that ain't how it goes. Marry, Eat, Fuck? No! Marry, Fuck, Kill, that's it!

[He grins widely, briefly enormously pleased with himself for remembering the name of the game. Then he looks back at Karkat.] But we can play Spin the Bottle if you want, bro. [There was some reason that was a bad idea, he's remembering, but he can't for the life of him think what it is. Oh, well, it can't be that important, right?]

[Karkat doesn't even remember why he suggested Spin the Bottle, but there was definitely a bad idea about it. He raised an eyebrow, taking another drag of his cigarette with roll of his eyes.]

Fuck no, why would I want to kiss either of you fuckasses? [Never mind the fact that he'd already kissed Gamzee once before. He closed his eyes before leaning back on the musty old bed.] It was a lame suggestion anyway.

[Tavros laughed for some reason at Gamzee trying to remember the name of the game. He didn't know why it was funny, but it definitely was. He was taking a drink when Karkat spoke and it caused him to swallow it wrong, resulting in more choking.]

I-cough-, uhh, didn't know that-cough- it...I mean, uh...No,-cough- I wouldn't want to kiss you either, Karkat... [He tries to recover, tries to sound teasing.] Uhh-cough- you're a fuckass too... Um, I'm kidding-cough- by the way! Errr, -cough- about you being a fuckass...

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