sortinghat_logs | Eggs, eggs, eggs!

Entry tags:

Eggs, eggs, eggs!

WHO: Everyone!
TONE: Fun and light.
RATING: PG-13
WHEN: 24th - 27th
WHERE: All over the place!
WHAT: Easter is in the air and eggs are in your hair! Except not really, but there are eggs everywhere and it is your job to find them.
STATUS: Ongoing! Use whichever format strikes your fancy.

[It's finally time to kick off the egg hunt! You're paired up and the eggs are hidden, so go off and find those eggs! They are hidden literally everywhere, even in places you may not expect them to be. So be sure to look everywhere, just try not to get in too much trouble! Friendly competition is one thing, just don't punch anyone in the face trying to get an egg.

Don't forget to see THIS POST for egg effects.]

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[It really probably wouldn't hurt at all. You'd just end up hurting yourself, probably. But you're free to try if it would make you feel better. He won't hold it against you.]

You sounded like a fucking cricket. And I don't care how I look. I ain't the only one looking like a moron right now. No offense, I still love you, babe.

[He holds a hand out, palm up.]

C'mon, let's get you out of there and somewhere warm. You've gotta be pretty damn cold.

What kind of crickets have you been listenin' to? [He gives him an incredulous look.] The difference is that nobody else can see me. [He gives him a flat look, but the endearments haven't entirely gone to waste because he does feel a little better...if not more silly. Ugh.]

Absolutely not. [He waves off the palm as it's offered. He knows damn well he's being difficult, but it's hard not to be when you're in a sour mood.]

Listen, it might've sounded like screaming to you, but to a normal sized person, it sounded like a fucking cricket, okay? A really distressed cricket.

[Bro just sighs and keeps the hand held out.]

Murdoc, you're going to catch a cold or freeze to death out here. If you don't get your ass out of that crack, I'll get you out myself. And then you won't be sliding into any other cracks any time soon, if you catch my drift.

Oh.. [Well the fierceness of his little temper tantrum certainly dulls at that. Now he feels the silliest he has in the longest time, so he's going to keep quiet for the most part.]

Alright. [He sighs as he concedes to Bro's argument and creeps out, tentatively treading onto Bro's palm and folding his arms over his chest, watching him expectantly.]

[Don't feel too bad, Murdoc. It's not every day that you get shrank and attacked by a cat, so how are you supposed to know that you sounded like a distressed cricket?]

There we go, that's better.

[He brings his other hand up to cup around the side of his one hand to give Murdoc something to lean on to prevent him from falling, and then pulls himself to his feet.]

Man this is fuckin' weird. How's it feel being smaller than my dick?

Is it?
[He sounds terribly unconvinced. He braces against the second hand as Bro stands, but he lets go almost as soon as he's level again. He doesn't want to be TOO reliant here, he already feels dainty enough.]

You always know just what to say. [He snips, resisting the urge to kick at Bro. It is, however, a terrifying reality that he never wanted to consider.]

Yes. Yes I do.

[He's actually pretty sure that Murdoc is like, half the size of his dick now. Man, he could do some damage with that thing.]

A cock slap at this size would probably break some bones.

[Isn't that a comforting thought?]

So I guess I'll be sure to keep my pants on. But hey, you feel cold. You need somewhere warm. I know just the place- and don't worry, it ain't my pants.

[With his free hand, he reaches up and pulls off his hat, before holding it out and then gently depositing Murdoc into it.]

Can you not? [He grimaces up at him, giving his palm a little kick as he does. That was NOT a mental image he wanted or needed, it makes him a little uneasy even if he knows Bro would never do more than imagine it. Which he just now realises is a very strange thing for him to be thinking, why is Bro such a pervert?]

You most certainly will. [He demands, squirming a little as he's moved about without permission and scooting a little as he's placed in the hat, finding it hard to stand upright. The first thing he notices is the fact that it is very pungent once you're neck deep in it, even if it smells very strongly of the other man which isn't a bad thing at all. The second thing he notices as he turns to look out the hat is that the drop is very, very far. The fall would hurt a lot more than a cock slap, that much is certain.

He turns to face Bro, giving him a solemn look.] You won't drop me, will you? [Which is of course a politer way of saying 'if you drop me I will kill you'.]

[Well that hurt a whole lot. And by a whole lot he means not at all.

And he can't help the only thing in inches he really has to compare Murdoc to is his dick. And also there's the fact he just is a pervert. But that's who Murdoc fell in love with, after all. He really wouldn't cock slap him, though. He really doesn't want to literally break Murdoc with his penis. That would just be kind of depressing, and would lead to him reducio-ing it.]

Of course I won't!

[He sounds indignant at that, as if the idea is appalling. Because it is! There's no way Bro would ever drop him. That'd be depressing as fuck.]

You've never been in safer hands than mine, babe. I promise. Or a safer has, as it were. But still, you get my point. I'll take care of you until this little issue is resolved.

[Murdoc isn't getting anywhere near his penis for the next two hours so they've got absolutely nothing to worry about in that regard. The image is still unsettling, but he's got better things to think about.

He's going to sigh dramatically and prop his chin on the edge of the cap.]

This is horrible. [He's going to give him the doe eyed look for a long moment as if Bro could possibly fix anything before he perks up a bit for the next order of business.] Would you fetch my wand? It's over by the eggs there. Careful not to touch any of them or we'll both be cat food.

[You know what Bro doesn't notice often enough? How fucking adorable Murdoc is. Funny how it takes having Murdoc a few inches tall to make him realize this. The way he sighs and rests his head on the cap is just so fucking cute that he just kind of spaces out for a moment. Enough to not really catch what Murdoc says.]

Sorry, what? I got distracted by all these dokis I have for how fucking adorable you are right now. Something about your wand and cat food...

Must you really? [He looks exasperated by Bro right now.] It's bad enough I'm this small, you needn't go out of your way to make me feel...

[Cute? He doesn't know the word he's looking for, so he just trails off and scowls at him.]

I've half a mind to climb up there and give your ear a tug. I told you to get my wand and to be careful of the eggs, you fool.

I would apologize, but it'd be a lie.

[Cute is accurate. Murdoc is so cute right now that it almost physically hurts to see. Maybe he'll hoard the eggs so that he can experience this more often. Or learn how to make a shrinking potion. Because god, what a fucking kawaii.]

Oh. Yeah, I can do that. No problem.

[He makes his way over to the little cluster of painfully eggs and picks up Murdoc's wand carefully, stowing it in his pocket.]

You want me to give that cat a kick while I'm at it?

You're bein' awfully unsympathetic of my condition.
[He gives up on attempting to stand and plops down to sit cross legged, though part of him does want to climb up and sit closer to the other man, he decides he doesn't want to chance it right now.]

Good. [He answers curtly, entirely unaware that Bro wants to magic him this small more often, even if he's quite obviously amused by the situation, bastard.]

If you please. [So he's going to shift to look over the side of the hat.]

It's a very temporary condition that I'm just taking full advantage of.

[At the last bit, Bro gives a nod and walks over to the cat, who's still hanging upside down and hissing feebly. He glances down at Murdoc and gives him a smirk, before flicking his wand to undo the spell. As the cat falls, Bro gives it a swift kick, where it lands a few feet away before slinking away with a hiss.]

I hope that was a cathartic for you as it was for me. I hate cats.

I'll make sure you regret it when I'm back to my usual self.

[He throws a bitter look over his shoulder at Bro before leaning back to peer over the edge of the cap, watching with probably a bit too much glee. The horrible person award is going to both of them today, that much is for certain.]

As do I. [He pulls away from the edge of the cap to give Bro a small smile.] We should probably feel bad for that.

Edited 2013-03-27 09:09 (UTC)

[Bro just shrugs casually.]

We should, but you know what? I don't feel a goddamn thing. It deserved it for trying to eat my little Murman. And hey, that thing you said about making me regret it... that a promise?

[He's holding the cap up near his face and giving Murdoc a waggle of his brows. Doesn't he look oh so seductive?]

For what it's worth, I was never particularly fond of cats either. Nor animals in general, really. [Other than his own dog.] Must you continue to call me that?
[He stands, sagging his shoulders a little and stepping closer as he's brought forward.]

You have my word. [He answers in a stiff voice, pressing a quick kiss to the palm of his own hand and reaching out to slap Bro as hard as he can. It's not much, but it should sting a little at least.]

What's wrong with Murman? It's cute. Like you.

[Aww, you know he actually thought you were being adorable and gonna press your palm to him or something. He didn't expect a slap. Bro flinches a little as Murdoc's hand connects, and he moves Murdoc away quickly.]

That was fucking rude! That stung like a bee, you dick. What was that for? I kicked the cat for you! I saved your life! You should be thanking me, not getting in touch with your inner insect.

[He's just going to give Murdoc a pouty little look for irony.]

It's stupid, like you.
[He gives him the blandest of expressions. Don't you love that he sugar coats everything for you?]

It was a kiss. [He blinks, making the most innocent of tiny expressions. You can't stay mad at this, can you?]

I'm not stupid, and that was not a kiss.

[...He wants to stay angry. Or at least a little annoyed. But it's just sort of melting away as Murdoc gives him that look. You asshole, you're playing this to your advantage.]

Maybe if you give me a real kiss, I'll forgive you.

[He brings the hat back towards him, and puckers his lips.]

It had to be hard or you wouldn't feel it.

[You are mistaken, he's always exactly like this.]

Alri- [He starts to say, but then Bro puckers and that is absolutely terrifying. What if he accidentally eats him? Murdoc is going to fall backward and scramble to the back of the cap looking absolutely terrified.] Stop that!

[Bro is just waiting for that kiss. And waiting. It isn't until Murdoc speaks that he opens his eyes and sees that he's scrambled to the back of the cap and is looking like he's about to piss himself.]

What the hell is your problem?

[Honestly he can't even fathom what the issue could be. Does his breath stink? No he just brushed his teeth today. Murdoc is being silly.]

[Once Bro calls him out on it, Murdoc begins to realise how terribly stupid his reaction had been. Bro is just so...big. His face is big. It's kind of hard to smooch someone when they're this many times bigger than you. It's also hard to admit that without sounding offensive, so Murdoc is just going to gather himself up and step forward.]

If you were my size you'd understand. [Only he doubts that. Little Bro would probably be all over him. Either way, so as not to offend the other man, he'll lean in and give him a peck on the lips. It's horribly strange kissing someone when you're almost small enough to fit in their mouth, Murdoc never knew that until now.]

[When Murdoc finally does come over and give him the kiss, he feels slightly better. But it was still pretty alarming to see the man looking so terrified of him. He'd prefer never seeing him look that way towards him again, to be perfectly honest.]

You know that no matter what, I'd never hurt you, right? Like... ever. I mean, aside from a friendly punch or two when you deserve it, but still. You may be tiny, but I ain't gonna let a damn thing happen to you.

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TW: Cat kicking

We're terrible people

the terribest

Re: the terribest

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