Hey hey, You you.

[wwistful]

WHO: Murdoc and Gamzee
TONE:  Ranty? Cute?
RATING: PG? Maybe higher for naughty words.
WHEN: Backdated all the way to the 9th of Feb
WHERE: Murdoc's office
WHAT: Murdoc is trying to figure out why Gamzee has such a bitter hate for Bro.
STATUS: Ongoing

[It's nice to know that Gamzee thinks so highly of him, but it isn't at all pleasant to see that despite all of his chiding and nagging, the boy still has the painfully awkward habit of spilling personal stories all over the journal. There's no shame in having taught Gamzee some very basic lessons in regards to sexual education, if only for the sake of the student body, but the way he announced it gave it a seemingly suspicious vibe.

One that Bro had to pick up on, of course. He doesn't want to think about who else might have seen. Despite taking him aside and warning him about it, their conversation hadn't ended there. In their conversation, he'd found Gamzee to have a strangely profound loathing of Professor Strider, his boyfriend of all people. Now, he doesn't always openly admit it, but he's felt himself become a little more endeared to the strange Slytherin boy after having gotten to know him better. In a lot of ways, Murdoc pities him. He doesn't at all like the sounds of his home life and he is incredibly rough around the edges and strange. Yet, he has a certain sort of charm to him. In time, it seemed as if he'd also found himself appreciating Murdoc as a professor. That, strangely enough, made him feel very confident about his job as a professor. It had been such a boring change from being an auror, he'd found himself wanting to be the very best at his job so that his ambitious nature feels satisfied. Even if it is a strain on his patience...

As such, he feels the need to work this issue out somehow. It's been a while since he's talked to Gamzee and he's found himself missing their odd conversations. Awkward as they may be, he can be strangely deep regarding a number of topics. He only wonders where his opinions toward his boyfriend have sprung from and whether he actually has a hope of settling their differences.]

Comments

[mo_cara]

[The gangling boy is really sure he wants to see Murdoc right now. It's a terrible blow to hear the teacher he's come to like is such good friends with such A MOTHERFUCKIN SHIT STAINED BULGE LICKER, but what can he do? Maybe if he tells the DADA professor exactly what happened, he'll understand, and tell Strider to hit the road. That would be pretty fine. But he thinks that instead, he'll probably be told he was overreacting and that he's supposed to treat professors with respect even if they don't give it back, and he just really doesn't want to have that conversation.

Which is the reason for the long face when he shows up at Murdoc's office and sticks his head in door.] Sir?

[wwistful]

[Murdoc got the impression that Gamzee wasn't all that interested in coming over. Surprising, really, given that he's usually quite happy to. Though he has been a little out of sorts since Kishitani left, he suspects it has nothing to do with that and everything to do with the fact that he admitted to being close with Strider. He didn't want to openly announce the status of their relationship over journals. Even if he kisses the other man and holds his hand from time to time, he does try his best to keep it discreet and as professional as possible.

He looks up as the door opens and nods at Gamzee, beckoning for him to come over.] Yes, hello. Why don't you come sit down, Makara?

[mo_cara]

[Gamzee slouches in and then sinks into the chair, his hands sunk deep in his pockets and his whole body language screaming that he felt he was about to be in for a lecture. He tries to head it off at the pass by mumbling] Sorry I was being rude, sir.

[wwistful]

[Murdoc doesn't do all that much to take the feeling away, unfortunately. He isn't much of a smiley guy, it takes a bit of effort to get as much as a half-smile out of him. So he just nods at Gamzee as he enters, giving him a bland look. However, an eyebrow shoots up as he apologises. For once, he sees no reason for it.]

Rude? [He squints.] I never said you were rude. [He ponders their conversation.] Perhaps a little. But it's hardly why I asked you come visit. I want to know what your issue with professor Strider is, actually.

[mo_cara]

[Gamzee doesn't say anything for a while, just looking at the tops of his shoes as he's wont to do when he's unsure about something. But finally he allows] He took some sh- stuff of mine. Stuff what were real important to me, and he lost it, and then he said I was stupid for caring and there wasn't nothing I could do about it. He gave me a yeah-but sorry.

[wwistful]

[Murdoc is about to urge him to speak, getting a little impatient with the pause. Then he speaks and he can't help but think that situation sounds very familiar.]

I see. [Bro you have some splainin to do.] What was it that he took from you?

[mo_cara]

My face. [lacing his fingers and staring down at them] It were the paint I got from Detroit, from this m- dude who got it from the mirthful messiahs themselves, at one of their shows. It were the only one I had like that, and he said it was dumb because a bloke weren't supposed to be wearing that shit.

[wwistful]

[Murdoc tightens his mouth into a frown as he hears more of Gamzee's story. Honestly, he thinks the paint is absolutely ridiculous and it takes a lot of personal effort not to tell him so. His sympathy for Gamzee vastly outweighs his desire to put him down, because he imagines he's heard it before.

He shakes his head and sighs, just having a hard time picturing it.]

If that's the case I am terribly sorry for you, he can be uncommonly blunt at times. Though, I'm havin' trouble imaginin' it, myself...Why on Earth would he need it for?

[He's trying so hard not to let the fact that he's head over heels for Bro impact his choice making.]

[mo_cara]

I dunno, I think he just disappeared it all. Like into some motherf- some pit or something, 'cause he thought it were funny. I don't think he was all using it for nothing. He just thought it was being some big joke, but that shit ain't funny at all.

[he glances away] Being down with the clown is ... it's, like, you know, those dudes get it, they know life can throw you shit, but that ain't no excuse, you gotta walk your path and do what you know is right up in your pump biscuit, and don't be fu- fooling with other people what can't defend themselves and shit. And, like, they get about family, you know, you gotta make it sometimes, and listening to them, knowing the dark carnival is waiting, that we are all gonna be judged ... I dunno, I guess thinking about that has helped me out a lot, you know?

I know everyone makes fun of me for that shit. They ain't getting it, and that's cool, it ain't for everyone. But teachers ain't supposed to act like every other motherfucker out there that wants to knock a brother down. They ain't supposed to take your shit and laugh at you 'cause you care.

[He's looking down at his feet again, his shoulders tight, but there's considerable depth of emotion in his voice. For all that he acts stupid a lot of the time, Gamzee really isn't. He knows how he appears to other people, and he's still young enough to believe that adults are supposed to act in a certain way, that teachers are supposed to at least pretend they don't pick on kids, and Bro's kind of shaken that belief and view of the world.]

[wwistful]

Oh...
[Murdoc's eyes widen and you can see the realistation hitting him very, very slowly. He's considering what's being said...but the pieces are coming together.

He nods as he contines to explain and gives his best sympathetic expression.]

Makara. I entirely understand your disdain for Strider, given his poor handling of the situation. However..I want you to consider the length of time that has passed since it occured. I think you'll find he's matured considerably since then, he certainly isn't particularly ill natured. Not intentionally, in any case.

Would you mind if I told you a story? I think it relates in some way. [Because it's the direct reason behind all of this...]

[mo_cara]

He don't act no different. [But he nods anyway, he's listening, Murdoc.]

[wwistful]

I think you'll find that he does. [Murdoc can't help bristling a little. He wants to be a good, solid role model and teacher, but he can't help feeling just a little defensive over his boyfriend.]

Change isn't always apparent, particularly when you don't talk to someone often. But it's there and it's happened.

[He nods in return, drawing in a deep breath.] Some time ago...roughly around the same time your make up went missing I..might've made some comments in regard to Dave Strider that weren't at all fair of me as a professor to say. And so I ended up fightin' with Professor Strider, so if I were to venture a guess I'd say that the reason he summoned up all of that make up would be because he had a bruise or two to hide. So I..might've played a part in it.

Point is, it's been such a long time since then that Strider and I have gone from fightin' to dati-- bein' friends. Good friends. [Fuck.]

[mo_cara]

[Gamzee's about to open his mouth to say it doesn't matter why Bro took the makeup, that what mattered was how much of a dick he was after, and none of that was Murdoc's fault, when he caught the little slip of the tongue. He stopped, processed it, and then a stricken look came over his face, followed by an immediate shutting down as his shoulders hunched in and he dropped his head.]

Yeah. Okay. Can I go now?

[wwistful]

[Murdoc looks hopeful for a moment...then it becomes apparent that the point was kind of missed and that the fuck up has offended Gamzee in some manner. That look is just a little bit heartbreaking to Murdoc. He droops his shoulders, giving Gamzee a bit of a dejected look as he asks to leave.]

Absolutely not! You can't leave until we've got this sorted. [He taps the desk, trying to drum up some more enthusiasm.] Did you understand the point of the story? That we've all grown up since then?

[mo_cara]

Don't see how trying to take some of the blame for what he did means that. [Gamzee says sullenly.]

Ain't no proof at all he acts any different, 'cept now I guess he's probably boning you, so you got a reason to defend him, and you're gonna take his side no matter what. 'Cause otherwise it means you're doing it with a dude who was that much of a dick to some kid. Which he still is, 'cause I seen how he treats other kids, and he does shit like making everyone write essays about how much all people suck, which don't seem like a real mature thing to do.

[The boy just looks ... defeated. Like this has pretty much cemented his view that teachers can get away with anything they like, if even a teacher he really admires is going to stand up for Bro.]

[wwistful]

I'm not takin' any of the blame. I'm usin' it as an example of how people change over time, you silly boy. [He can't help being frustrated! This is increasingly difficult to explain.]

Really, Makara. Do you think my good opinion is so easily won? I wouldn't be...bonin' him if I didn't have a high opinion of him. He was a smug, arrogant asshole and he tends to speak without speakin'. Somethin' the two of you happen to have in common. [He sniffs.]

He's expressed an interest in apologising and I'd like it if you'd be able to keep an open mind for it. He isn't the most mature, but he is tryin', I can at least promise you that. [He gives him a pained smile.] Would you please trust me?

[mo_cara]

I ain't a- ! [starts, then bites his tongue, and just shrugs, looking at the ground again] Okay. He's just gonna say he's sorry I was dumb about it, but if you feel better to have him do it, I guess I can listen.

[wwistful]

You are. You're both silly, honestly. How I manage to put up with you is anybody's guess. [SIGH.]

I promise you he won't, and if he does he'll face the consequences.

[mo_cara]

'Kay. [still looking down at his shoes, kind of inwardly horrified that his professor thinks he's smug and arrogant] Whatever you want.

[wwistful]

Whatever is best, I think you mean. [Nag, nag.] I'm glad we could sort this out, Makara. I won't keep you any longer, unless you'd like to discuss anythin' else.

[mo_cara]

[Gamzee didn't want to come in the first place!] Nah, I'm good. [standing, and heading for the door]

[wwistful]

[Murdoc has a lovely way of warping his memory so that things work out better.]

Alright. [He nods, standing up to lead him to the door before he clears his throat.] You don't... You don't like me less because of my relationship with Strider.. Do you? [Lookit those big, grey, pleading eyes. Don't hate him, he hates being hated!]

[mo_cara]

[Gamzee doesn't say anything for a long moment, but really, he doesn't blame Bro on Murdoc, even if he feels just a little betrayed.]

Nah.

[wwistful]

[The curt response is a little concerning, but he won't keep him any longer. He forces a half smile and without really paying much attention to what he's doing he reaches out to give Gamzee's mop of hair a pat.]

There's a good lad. [He pulls his hand away, hoping the gesture doesn't seem too odd.] Run along now, don't cause any trouble.

[mo_cara]

[nods, and will, indeed, run along, feeling gloomy]