[Dave's losing his patience with this shit. For one, he's hungry, and for two, this chump doesn't know when to quit.]
Is that all you got? C'mon man, that's it? You're just a soft little rookie who don't know when to quit. The rhyme doctor is in, let's go for a spin, 'Cause I'm Dave Strider and I'm about to win.
[Here, he actually pauses, clears his throat, closes his eyes (behind his shades), takes a deep breath, and just in general looks like he's preparing for something big.]
[That something big being a rap so fast it's like his tongue is possessed by a tarantallegra spell.]
You really wanna be Peter? Then I'll be your Hook, though I gotta tell you bro, that's the shittiest book. You're a nothin' fuckin' lookin' for a chance to get whipped, so here's some candy little boy get on my pirate ship. I didn't want to do this but you left me no choice, see I was gonna take it easy but I've heard the peoples' voice. Stop embarrassing yourself, you're only gonna make it worse, 'cause I'm the nail in your coffin so get ready for the hearse. Peter Pan's about to get Peter Panned, I'm like Luke Skywalker once you've cut off my hand. I'll come back in the sequel see you in thirty years, lurkin' in the darkness just to prey on your fears. Man you ain't the Pan, you're just some no-life chump, and all the fairy dust in the world couldn't help you even jump.
/sob
Is that all you got? C'mon man, that's it?
You're just a soft little rookie who don't know when to quit.
The rhyme doctor is in, let's go for a spin,
'Cause I'm Dave Strider and I'm about to win.
[Here, he actually pauses, clears his throat, closes his eyes (behind his shades), takes a deep breath, and just in general looks like he's preparing for something big.]
[That something big being a rap so fast it's like his tongue is possessed by a tarantallegra spell.]
You really wanna be Peter? Then I'll be your Hook, though I gotta tell you bro, that's the shittiest book. You're a nothin' fuckin' lookin' for a chance to get whipped, so here's some candy little boy get on my pirate ship. I didn't want to do this but you left me no choice, see I was gonna take it easy but I've heard the peoples' voice. Stop embarrassing yourself, you're only gonna make it worse, 'cause I'm the nail in your coffin so get ready for the hearse. Peter Pan's about to get Peter Panned, I'm like Luke Skywalker once you've cut off my hand. I'll come back in the sequel see you in thirty years, lurkin' in the darkness just to prey on your fears. Man you ain't the Pan, you're just some no-life chump, and all the fairy dust in the world couldn't help you even jump.