Murdoc starts to feel hopeful as Dirk takes his hand. He hadn't come with words prepared, he's speaking sincerely. It feels better this way, but he also has no idea what impact the words will have. It's almost as if they hang in the air between them as Dirk considers their value.
He can feel his heart thudding against his chest. He can hear it thudding. He's so nervous, but he's also just so utterly smitten with the man in front of him. He's been so good for him, he makes him feel like changing isn't impossible and that it won't make him vulnerable or lonely. He grips Dirk's hand a little tighter as he speaks, letting his cold hand become warmed by the heat of Dirk's as he listens.
He nods and he can feel himself smile wider. He can't stop himself from smiling now. He did it, for what is probably the first time in his life he managed to fix a tricky situation almost entirely on his own. He can own to his actions now and it gives him the strangest feeling of relief. As if he knows there are better things to come from it.
"You needn't apologise. I imagine it came as a rather rude shock to you. I can't say I would've acted any differently." It's true when he puts himself in Dirk's shoes, he's not sure his own heart would have withstood the pain of it. "I will. It'll be easy with you here to help me. I promise I will as long as you promise you'll be there when I make an arse of myself. Or so I don't, rather." He lets out a small laugh, relief flooding over him as he watches Dirk.
Finally, he steps forward and threads his free hand into the other man's hair, leaning in for the sloppiest, ugliest 'I missed you so much' kiss he's ever had in his entire life. That's when he realises..
"When I said I loved you, I meant it." He twists his mouth into a small scowl at his own behaviour. "I hadn't meant to bring it up in such an utterly pathetic manner. But it's true. I do love you, Dirk." He lets out a small, relieved sigh at that. It feels good to say it, even though he's fairly certain the message won't be sincerely returned to him tonight.
no subject
He can feel his heart thudding against his chest. He can hear it thudding. He's so nervous, but he's also just so utterly smitten with the man in front of him. He's been so good for him, he makes him feel like changing isn't impossible and that it won't make him vulnerable or lonely. He grips Dirk's hand a little tighter as he speaks, letting his cold hand become warmed by the heat of Dirk's as he listens.
He nods and he can feel himself smile wider. He can't stop himself from smiling now. He did it, for what is probably the first time in his life he managed to fix a tricky situation almost entirely on his own. He can own to his actions now and it gives him the strangest feeling of relief. As if he knows there are better things to come from it.
"You needn't apologise. I imagine it came as a rather rude shock to you. I can't say I would've acted any differently." It's true when he puts himself in Dirk's shoes, he's not sure his own heart would have withstood the pain of it. "I will. It'll be easy with you here to help me. I promise I will as long as you promise you'll be there when I make an arse of myself. Or so I don't, rather." He lets out a small laugh, relief flooding over him as he watches Dirk.
Finally, he steps forward and threads his free hand into the other man's hair, leaning in for the sloppiest, ugliest 'I missed you so much' kiss he's ever had in his entire life. That's when he realises..
"When I said I loved you, I meant it." He twists his mouth into a small scowl at his own behaviour. "I hadn't meant to bring it up in such an utterly pathetic manner. But it's true. I do love you, Dirk." He lets out a small, relieved sigh at that. It feels good to say it, even though he's fairly certain the message won't be sincerely returned to him tonight.