sortinghat_logs | Let's go get the shit kicked out of us by love

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Let's go get the shit kicked out of us by love

WHO: Murdoc Donoghue and Dolores Maryam
TONE: Soothing
RATING: PG
WHEN: After Murdoc and Bro argue
WHERE: Dolores' house
WHAT: Murdoc did a dumb thing and he needs Dolores to help him with it.

[It's been a few days since the fight. Since Dirk left. Murdoc has been, for lack of a better word, a complete fucking wreck for all of those days. He'd politely requested that Cronus and Eridan stay elsewhere for longer, not giving a real reason as to why and then he'd spent the past few days in several different postions in bed or flopped over the couch drinking and/or throwing a pity party.

He'd never been particularly good with relationships, even after he found Dirk he was still finding situations and complications that were difficult to work through. Through all of that he'd finally come to realise he'd found love. Horrible, heart breaking, bone crushing love and, unsurprisingly, had somehow managed to fuck it up entirely and send Dirk packing after the smaller man had kindly broken his nose for him (he'd been able to repair it himself, but careful mirror inspections lead him to believe it is dented. That beautiful bastard, why does he even bother?).

In times like this, he rarely turns to anyone. He's usually content to handle things by himself and he's generally pleased as long as things go his way. This time, he's showing a rare sign of uncertainty in his ability to handle his own matters. In such times, there is only one person he will turn to. Dolores. He'd conversed with her briefly over the journals before arriving after having been convinced it would be better to. The sacrifices he makes for everyone, he cannot even begin to go into detail.

He apparates to her house, arriving at the door in the late afternoon (it feels like early morning to him right now) and he glances around before knocking at her door quickly, not wanting to let himself chicken out.]

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[Dolores doesn't sleep very much, and when she does it's usually through the brighter hours of the day. So, in the late afternoon when night is already falling thanks to the season she's wide awake and easily hears the knock on the door. At least she'd had the time to get a little food into the house before Murdoc arrived - she doesn't keep it for herself, though she has an alarmingly wide range of tea.

When she answers the door she's barefoot and dressed in simple, elegant clothes a far cry from her usual robes. She looks at him softly for a moment, then steps closer and clasps a hand over his shoulder.]

Come on in, Murdoc. Make yourself at home.

[Murdoc has been asleep more than he's been awake lately. He's glad his children aren't around to see the pathetic sack of misery he's been for the past few days. It had been hard to muster up the inspiration to do anything but sleep. That is until he realised, if he really loved Dirk he would be well worth the effort that getting out of bed seemed to take. If he's any sort of man, he'll fix this situation as best he can with the help of Dolores in the triumphant pursuit of love.

Or something.

He'd been needlessly dramatic the past few days.

He'd managed to dress himself up a little for the sake of visiting Dolores, he still looked messy compared to his usual self. He bows his head as he enters and despite all the sleep he's been getting, he looks hellishly tired.]

Thank you. I hope I'm not botherin' you.. Didn't really know what else to do. [He mumbles, looking around curiously as he enters her home.]

You're never a bother, dear.

[She can see how out of sorts he is and gently ushers him inside, shutting the door behind him. Dolores' house is comfortable, neat and tidy but there's nothing to show any kind of wealth. Though by this point she could undoubtedly afford somewhere more spacious, she has no need for it. Why would she need rooms that she would never use, when she barely uses the ones that she has?

Leading him through to the living room she offers him a seat and sits nearby, taking one of his hands in both of hers. She doesn't need to be terribly perceptive to know something is bothering him, even if they hadn't already spoken. It had been difficult enough to persuade him to come here.]

Now... I think you should start from the beginning.

Only you would say that.

[He smiles weakly at her. Shuffling as he's ushered into the home. It's pleasant enough, he supposes. Surprisingly, he expected nothing more or less from her. It's by no means impressive, and he's finding it somewhat endearing. Overall, he much prefers his own home, but he doesn't mind being here at all.

He allows himself to be lead, he's in no mood to go about his own business. He's here with purpose and they both know it. He takes the seat and sits without much ceremony and watches her hands as they hold his, almost afraid to meet her eyes.]

I'm not entirely sure what happened myself. I was...petty. We had a disagreement and. [His fingers twitch and he feels far too ashamed to go into the detail that he needs to.] I think I said somethin' that hurt his feelings.

[What he says as he walks in isn't addressed by her - she's concerned about him, and despite what he might think his presence is never a bother to her. She can be patient with him, in a way that would probably impress most people, and keeps her expression calm as he speaks.

A little of what happened she knew already, but she hadn't wanted to continue discussing this kind of delicate matter over a medium that might easily be read by someone else. It was safer to speak face to face, even if it was more difficult for Murdoc.

When his fingers twitch she makes a soft sound in response to his discomfort, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.]

.. Tell me what you said. I will do my best to help you, you know that.

Alright. [He inhales slightly, trying not to be obvious about it as he does.]
He was visitin' my home and we were together, then he brought out some sort of, contraption. And I protested to it.
[He pauses for a moment, thinking on it before continuing.] It's difficult to recollect from there, but he's currently under the impression-- I might've implied that our differences seperate us more than he gives credit for.

[Oh, dear, Murdoc, how do manage to get yourself into these situations. She can take a stab in the dark as to what he's referring, but doesn't want to make any assumptions that might insult him.]

You might need to be a little more specific, if you'd be so kind.

I might've made mentions of superiority due to different circumstances.
[He clears his throat.]
Including, but not limited to, blood. Differences.

[Her expression flickers. Aah, this again. Well, Dolores is certainly not under the impression that Murdoc is without prejudice, especially when it comes to blood purity, but she had thought..

No matter.]

There is little sense in this beating about the bush, my dear. What did you say to him?

[Murdoc shifts, scowling a little to himself and looking almost annoyed that he needs to admit it. He's starting to get tired of talking at all. Maybe it was easier back when he stayed in his shell and wasn't forced to make an arse of himself constantly.]

He baited me into sayin' that I'm better than him and only seemed to get more offended when I said it didn't matter to me.

Ah..

[He's so careful with his phrasing, but she has already seen Dirk, and she knows that there's more to it than he's telling.]

He baited you? In what way?

Just. Give me a second and I will be more thorough.

[He inhales slowly before he begins. This is going to sound awfully childish.]

We were relaxin' together, alone. Properly alone finally after who knows how long we've had to be discreet. Then he brought out his toplap and started fiddling with it and it felt wrong. And I'm so tired of him bringin' out weird things and makin' references I don't understand. So I got up to leave an' he start bangin' on about me not understandin' it and being AWFULLY condescendin' I might add.
[He inhales again.]
He said I was actin' like I was better than him, then he asked if I thought I was and I was sincere and polite in pointin' out that I'm not better so much as I am superior due to birth rights. [He pauses] No offense.

Then I told him that I loved him anyway and he got angry and started gettin' ready to leave, so I followed him and tried to make him stay so we could talk. Then I kissed him and he punched my nose. [He touches it, feeling over the bridge to check for a dent.]

[She doesn't correct him, though a tiny smile twitches at her lips when he gets the word wrong.]

None taken. [A quiet murmur when he says 'no offence', and otherwise she listens in silence, shaking her head slightly when he's done.]

.. I can't say that I find his reaction surprising. Dirk is a very proud young man, and more than that, he loves you, and he was trying to share something with you.

[Dolores leans forwards slightly, letting out a sigh.] Muggleborns and halfbloods are always going to have one foot in a world that most purebloods will never experience, but that doesn't make them any less as witches and wizards. Nor does.. [A pause, she doesn't know how he might take this.] Nor does being pureblood make a person better than others, simply because the are pureblood.

[She shakes her head.]

I am not surprised that he punched you, dear. I cannot imagine that I would have liked to hear that my blood status made me inferior in the eyes of the person I loved, either.

[He exhales sharply, clearly getting frustrated with this already.] I understand that he's part of two worlds! He's more than welcome to experience his own muggle world, but he was in my home and I had no interest in bein' shown whatever it was he had to show me. I don't understand why I'm not allowed to have my own limits. I wouldn't have said anythin' if he'd just put it away like I asked.

[He sinks in his chair a little.] Several people would disagree with you, there. I fail to see what the issue is, anyway. There's no need to feel poorly due to mismatched blood status, it's simply something that needs to be accepted and worked around. [In..his favour...]

I am aware that people would disagree, but that does not make them right.

[Nor does it make her right, she knows that, but that isn't the point at the moment. She sighs as she looks at him, knowing that this must be difficult for him to get his head around, and not because he's incapable, but just because it was pushing him to see things in a different way. One that he might not have considered before.]

Accepted, and worked around. That is a noble goal, but it must be accepted by both sides, not just one. How can you expect him to accept you, if you can't accept him?

I do accept him. I accept him for what he is! Do you have any idea what sort of wrath I would face from my mother, let alone my entire family if I were to so much mention an idle interest in a muggleborn man? It's unheard of!

If I am to accept his culture than maybe it would be good of him to consider my background as well.

[Dolores leans back and just for a few moments regards him quietly. She closes her eyes to gather her thoughts, clasping her hands together as she opens them.]

Murdoc.. I understand what you are risking as a pureblood in a family with traditional values, but does it occur to you that in expressing such things to him, he may well have been given the idea that you are ashamed of him?

[She knows you're not the best with words, Donoghue..]

[He dwells on that for a moment, and while he does his best to pretend that he couldn't have possbly have given that impression, he's slowly realising he may have. That seems to worry him quite a bit.]

There's absolutely no way I could have. I told him that I accept him as he is and that I love him. [He says that as if it trumps everything bad he's ever said.]

[Murdoc.. please.]

You are absolutely sure that nothing you might have said would have given that impression?

[You know that stare mothers give when they know you've done a bad thing and they're just waiting for you to admit it? Yeah. That.]

[Yup. He knows it. He's feeling it now. He gradually lowers his head, looking down at his hands and wringing them anxiously. It's obvious she has him stumped there, he's worrying his bottom lip as he tries to think of a way to get himself out of it.

But he can't.]

I don't know. [His voice lowers again.] I might've.

[Now they're getting somewhere. She leans forwards a little and tilts her head in a small attempt to catch his eye.]

... You might have, or you did?

[He keeps his head lowered, not wanting to make eye contact at all as he hisses through his teeth.]

Obviously there's the possibility the impression was made since he had gotten so terribly angry, but I was never given a chance to explain myself.

Have you tried to speak to him before now?

[She suspects the answer to that is no, and with the state that Dirk had arrived here in, he may be telling the truth.. at least partly.]

Something like this cannot be allowed to fester.

I tried to owl him. He hasn't responded.
[He shrugs.]

I fucked it up.

Give him time. Everything will be alright.

Are you sayin' because you sincerely believe it or because it seems right to say it? [He raises an eyebrow at her.]

If I tell you that I sincerely believe it, would you believe me?

[This is getting very, painfully awkward for him. He sinks backward into his chair and stares at the wall for a long moment before turning his attention back to her.]

You have no idea how much I want to.

Then trust me, Murdoc. I know that you will get through this. Both of you.

That remains to be seen.
[Which is his way of saying he'll try. Which is a big step for him. Yay!

He half smiles and looks as if he has no idea what to do now.]

I suppose I should get out of your hair now?

You are quite welcome to stay for a drink, but if you have other things to do..

[Giving him an opening to leave without feeling like he's being rude.. She is the best host.]

I do.

[He answers curtly, rising out of his chair and bowing his head at her. He's keeping a fairly stern air now. Mostly because he has a lot on his mind and he doesn't really want to show it.]

Thank you for your time. I appreciate it.

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Let's go get the shit kicked out of us by love

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