sortinghat_logs | Shadow Event Log

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Shadow Event Log

WHO: Everyone, affected and not
TONE: Ranging from paranoid to angry
RATING: PG to PG-13
WHEN: After the memorial on October 31st through November 2nd.
WHERE: Hogwarts
WHAT: Those who have passed too near to a certain goblet may find themselves haunted by whispers of their unconscious insecurities. From themselves.
STATUS: ONGOING
NOTE: Details for the event are here, feel free to use the log for the whole event

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Of course not. [Rose bristles a bit and her shadow even cackles a bit at that. If she could punch you, she'd stick her wand in your eye, okay.]

It would be ridiculous of me to say and have such contradictory thoughts against myself.

Ohh, using big words to hide behind. You really are trying to pull out all the stops now.

They are bothersome at most.

[At this point, Bro knows that Rose is lying, that these ARE her thoughts and that she's just trying to pretend otherwise. But god he doesn't know how to even approach this or deal with it. He doesn't know what's causing this, nor does he know what to do in order to get it to stop.]

Y'know... you could talk to me about this shit. Instead of hearing it from... whatever the fuck this is. You don't have to hide this shit.

That's not possible.

[Rose speaks quickly.]

Ah, yes. Explain how you worked so hard to him! You really should. Let him no that you tried so hard thinking that one day he'll come back for you if you become the perfect little daughter.

Shut up.

I-

[Oh.

Well if that's not like a punch in the stomach, he doesn't know what is. He didn't know it was like that at all. Suddenly every regret he's ever had about not being part of her life is being intensified a hundred times over.]

Rose, it... didn't have anything to do with you, you know that, right? I left because... [He hates talking about this so damn much. He shakes his head.] Not at all because of you, I swear.

I didn't say it was about me. I understand. It happened and Mother raised me fine.

Ah yes, being a sarcastic and spiteful child means you are completely fine. So very fine. So many people are proud of you with your sharp tongue and stunning personality.

I was a child that didn't know better. I'm over it.

Even if all she ever wants is to know whether or not you're proud of her "accomplishments." If you could call them that.

Wh--

[God this is all so much to take i, he barely even knows what to say. The voice just keeps growing louder, there's nothing stopping him from hearing it now. It's loud and clear, and it fucking hurts to hear this shit.]

You think I'm not proud of you?

I said nothing of the sort! Really, you would take the word of a conniving shadowlike bitch over my own?

[Even if it's basically the voice of all her insecurities.]

She's still trying to figure out where you two even stand much less what you think of her accomplishments. After all, how can a father love a daughter he's never had?

[Rose's words hit him and he suddenly doesn't know what to think. It would be bad to take the shadow's words over his own, but... Somehow what they're saying, he feels like they much be true.]

Rose, I... Just because I wasn't there, it doesn't mean I don't love you. I love you just as much as I do Dave! I swear.

R-Really. This is quite enough! That accursed thing is making a folly of me. This is a well played joke. Ah yes! I'm laughing. [She let's out a few laughs, but they almost sound like sobs.]

I think we should all retire. You've done your damage, my fair little wretched, monstrous, lousy, disgusting piece of shit. [Is she referring to herself or it specifically.] Yes, I suppose what it says holds some truth. The silly fears of a small little girl that I long grew out and shed my skin to grow!

[Bro doesn't know what to do or what to even fucking say. Those laughs do sound like sobs and they go right to his heart, serving only to rip it into little tiny pieces. Here was this girl, one he admittedly barely even knew when you really got down to it, but who he loved unconditionally despite that. And here she is, clearly with so many issues all because of him. It's enough to make him feel like the world's biggest failure.

The only thing he can really bring himself to do is step forward, and- even though he's not sure it'll fix anything- wraps his arms around her and pull her close.]

I'm sorry... really fuckin' sorry.

[Rose slowly wraps her arms around Bro. And now she's actually sobbing. Because she didn't have these all her life from Bro, and this was such a ridiculous way to finally get it. And she just felt so incredibly weak and dumb. That this all amounted over a tiny insecurity that latched onto her.]

I wanted to make you so proud you'd come home. I thought if I just became the best at everything, you'd hear about it and return.

I was foolish.

[He's surprised when she hugs him. He... wasn't expecting that. He isn't complaining by any means! But she's been so guarded that he would've expected her not to want anything to do with hugging him, or showing any affection. But that doesn't stop him from giving her a squeeze, leaning down to press his face against her head softly.]

I've always been proud of you, e-even when I wasn't there... Rose, that's not foolish at all, either. But... But your mom used to send me letters, pictures, and every time I saw you, I was so proud of who you were becoming. I'm proud of who you are. I love you, Rosie.

[She buries her face against him. I hope you don't mind eyeliner. Rose has eyeliner on, sorry.]

Every Christmas I ask Santa for the same thing. I didn't even believe in him. [But she asked every year regardless. In hopes.]

[He doesn't mind. Not at all. He strokes her hair slowly, quiet for a long moment even after she speaks. Bro doesn't know what to say. He wants to make her feel better, but it honestly doesn't feel like there's much he can say that will actually help at this point.]

I'm here now though... And I ain't going anywhere. Ever.

[She makes the most pitiful little hiccups as she tries to reign her crying under control. She must not be so weak. :(]

What if you do leave? What if something happens and you decide otherwise? [What if she still isn't good enough for you to stay for her sake?]

[He doesn't know how to prove to her that he won't leave. The only thing he can do right now is keep holding her and show her that he isn't going anywhere.]

I can't convince you... All I can do is show you. Prove to you that I won't go anywhere, day by day. We'll take it a day at a time, but I fucking promise that I won't be going anywhere. You may not think so now, but hopefully I'll eventually make you believe I'm in your life and I'm staying.

[She doesn't mean to be so skeptical. She wouldn't mind if she were less so, but it gnaws away at the back of her mind, festering and eating away at her conscious.]

I'm tired. [This entire ordeal was tiring, she's found.] Today has been a long day.

[He's tired too. It's been a longass day, and he's mentally, emotionally and a bit physically exhausted. So when she says that, he nods.]

I know the feeling. D'you wanna go back to my room and sleep? I mean, if you didn't wanna be alone or something, y'know?

No thanks. I can sleep in my dormitory fine enough.

[She thinks enough damage has been done for now. She didn't want to cause more unneeded grief right this moment.]

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Shadow Event Log

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