sortinghat_logs | I know you aren't one to kiss and tell..

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I know you aren't one to kiss and tell..

WHO: Sollux Captor and Murdoc Donoghue
TONE: Foreboding, Awkward, Fun for all the family
RATING: PG-13 (In case of frantic swears)
WHEN: Sometime after the party
WHERE: Murdoc's classroom
WHAT: Murdoc found out that his son got smooched at a naughty party and he has some questions for Sollux.
STATUS: [ONGOING]

It's been a bit of a tough week so far for Murdoc. Students misbehaving, tiresome swimming classes, his son having the snot kicked out of him by a girl he'd been terribly endeared to and a few more than awkward moments that he's not sure if he can put behind him right now. Teaching is mentally and physically exhausting, so much so that all he could muster the energy to do when he found out about the party was roll his eyes and wonder who would be handling it this time. That is until Feferi shared a few more details with him...

His first reaction? Confusion. Why would either of them be at a party? When did Eridan express an interest in men, let alone Captor. What could have changed that? The next step? ANGER. What did Captor do? How dare Eridan attend an offensive party! How dare Captor attend the same party! Were they drunk? Was it a set up? How fucking dare they. After simmering down, he settled on his second last reaction. Denial. Eridan didn't like Captor. Captor didn't like Eridan. The two were unlikely to kiss. Now, to sum it all up, he was left feeling curious.

With the way Eridan's been acting lately, he doubts he'd get anything close to the truth out of him. He could, however, scare it out of Captor. If it ended up being true, well. He had a few more questions for the boy. It's hard to focus on the fourth year class before lunch, but he gets through the lesson somehow, letting the other students leave early. As they eagerly shuffle out the doors, he catches sight of Captor, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Captor. I'd like a word with you privately. Now"

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Okay what the fuck. Who the fuck told him?? Sollux was absolutely certain no one had seen them. At least no one pronounced themselves, god fucking damnit. Still, the cat was out of the bag, but he didn't feel very worried. It wasn't his fault, and the the worst Murdoc could do to him was to skin him very slowly and feed his dying remains to the wolves.

"Uh..."

Shit.

"Thome guy bumped into me and i fell on top of him."

Wow that sounds like so much of an excuse wow BUT IT'S THE TRUTH HE SWEARS.

Ah, yes. The sounds of hesitation and denial. The smile has totally faded away from his face. Now he's just staring Sollux down with a thinly veiled expression of pure hatred, with an eyebrow quirked in curiousity.

He nods slowly, as if considering Sollux's story. Then he chuckles quietly to himself before slamming his fists down on the desk, jilting most of the objects on top of it.

"Do NOT lie, Captor!" He barks. "That is the MOST ridiculous lie I have EVER been told!"

What? Shit, what had gotten to him? The first emotion to go through Sollux's mind is confusion. After confusion settles in fear, and like most healthy people, is replaced with hatred. He got up, supporting himself on the table with his palms, his voice jittering and feeble, but still able to talk.

"WHY would I lie?!" He yells out. "I've never been more grothed out in my life."

Murdoc is going to stand up as well, pressing his own palms against the desk as he uses his height to loom over the other boy. It feels pretty damn good to get that kind of reaction out of Captor, but the answer does not satisfy him one bit.

He could be lying, he could be saying he was gross to throw him off. Or Captor could even be lying to himself, maybe he's indenial. That's just as risky. Certainly not the kind of behaviour he wants to see around his son.

On the other hand, he's calling his son gross, and that's just rude.

"SO NOW YOU'RE CALLIN' MY SON GROSS? Do you have ANY tact!?"

Wow, holy shit. He WAS intimidating him, that was for sure. Sollux leaned back, with quite a degree of surprise in his eyes. Fuck. He had no idea what he could do, because he was telling the truth.

"You're the one yelling at me for thomething that i didn't do!"

Pause....

"Or at leatht be blamed for."

"Because you're LYIN', obviously, Captor!"

He takes a breath, but it doesn't do much to soothe him. He's just angry. He doesn't know if Eridan's ever been kissed before, he certainly hasn't heard of it. However, between Gamzee hitting on Eridan and various students and staff hitting on himself, he was growing increasingly protectve of his son.

Of course, it really doesn't help that Sollux is sitting here calling him gross. At least Gamzee seemed interested in Eridan as a person. At least he didn't find him disgusting.

"I can blame you for whatever I like, Captor. You've already confessed." He snorts. "You make it so easy."

"LYING?"

Ugh, this was just all he needed. He didn't want to deal with this bullshit at the moment or ever. It wasn't his fault and now he had prof. dumbohuge on his tail. Perfect. It was everything he needed and more.

"Why the fu-- hell are you even blackmailing your thtudent??"

Deep breaths.

"Do you actually think i kithed him becauthe i WANTED two??"

"It's not blackmail, Captor. You just confessed to bein' at a party that was held in contempt against the teachers."

He gives him a bored look, settling back into his chair. He's livid right now, but he's trying to get back to his more calm and collected state. It would be of no benefit to him to show just how enraged the situation makes him, though he wants Sollux to understand that he is in deep trouble.

"So, you mean to tell me that, not only have you attended an offensive party, but that my son is not worth your kisses?"

The most unconvinced look.

"A party you already knew about."

Okay, he had to calm down or he was going to get himself in further trouble, perhaps out the window. He breathed in, then let it out slowly, before considering what he could say to try to worm himself out of this situation.

"To be fair the Ravenclaw inviteth were mathked ath invitationth for a thtudy thethion, but enough of that."

Unimpressed stare.

"Are you blaming me for not wanting a perthon i dithlike all over my lipth?"

"Indeed. But have you been punished for your attendance?"

A small, anger masking smile. "I know very well that you didn't leave as soon as you discovered it was not a study party, don't try to use that one on me."

He reaches over his desk, lazily organising papers as he makes up a lie. It's bad, but he wants to see the reaction. "Sources say you enjoyed it quite a bit."

"If you punith me you'll have two punith everyone who attended ath well."

A grunt. Shit, this guy was annoying as all get out. Sollux thought that this wasn't about the party, oh no. The party was an excuse to punish him over the Eridan incident.

"I thought you of all people would know not two trutht everything you hear."

That's right Sollux, snark back at your teacher, it'll bring you good things in life.

"Is that so? Then you won't mind providin' me with a list of who you remember seein', will you?"

Murdoc slides some parchment forward in a serene manner, staring at Sollux for a long moment before he searches about his desk for a quill and ink. The comment is enough to make him raise his eyebrow, but he doesn't respond. He does need to grit his teeth to stop himself from snapping as he places a quill and ink in front of the younger man.

"Proceed."

"I would if I remembered anything that happened in there."

A pause.

"But I can give you a name."

He picks up the quill, and writes in very fancy handwriting "Eridan Ampora". He laid down the pen, and glared at Murdoc.

"The less names you give me, the less evenly I'll be distributin' the punishment."

He's going to stare down at the page, quirking an eyebrow at it before looking up to just. Stare at Sollux with the most bland, unimpressed expression.

"He'll be gettin' what's comin' to him, trust me."

"Tho thith ith blackmail, after all."

Sollux raised an eyebrow at Murdoc.

"I either give everyone away or I'm thtuck with detenthion for the retht of the year."

A smirk.

"That'th pretty low for a teacher."

"I don't think you have much space to judge, Mister Captor. You were somewhere you shouldn't have been, doin' things you shouldn't have done and you admitted to it quite freely. In fact, your punishment could be even more severe, but I've been so kind as to offer you a means of helpin' yourself."

He scoffs. "And here you are, throwin' it in my face. As if I would be so unprofessional as to bring my son into all of my choices as a teacher. Even if you speak so disdainfully of him."

"Now the million dollar quethtion."

He's just glaring at Murdoc. He got himself into this and he was either coming out of it screwed up ten ways from sunday or not at all. Oh well, such are the woes of being a snippy teenager.

"Why me, off all people?"

"That's scarcely worth a million of your dollars, Captor. It's a fairly stupid question. I was told that you were at the party, you confirmed it and thus, set yourself up for this. I almost feel as though I should thank you. However, it serves me far greater good to attempt to use this opportunity as a means of properly punishin' more than just two of the attendees."

"You know I won't give any nameth."

He furrowed his brows a bit, but his tone remained calm. If he snapped he'd only make it worse for himself.

"You were thure of it before even calling me here."

He was about to groan, but contained it to the best of his ability.

"Why don't you jutht athk the athhole that ratted everyone out? I'm thure they'd be more than willing two give you every name."

"A pity. For you."

He nods, schooling his expression into something more serene. The irony of the situation is not lost on him. It was Feferi who told him, afterall. The same Feferi that Sollux insisted was a good friend of his.

"Are you not at all curious as to who it is?"

It could have been a plethora of people. Sollux WOULD like to know, but that wasn't something he was about to tell Murdoc. He had enough power over him as it was.

"I don't care."

"Hmm."

He sniffs, looking so very unsatisfied with that response.

"She cared enough to tell me. But I suppose that doesn't matter at all to you."

There goes his chance to peel him away from Feferi. What a pity.

She?

Nope, he wasn't going to pry. He couldn't let Murdoc get more of a grip on him than he already had.

'I thaid I don't care.'

If looks could kill.

'I'm not ath fond of thneaky athholeth ath you are.'

"I never said you had to be fond of them, though you are. I know you are. I simply meant you may want to re-evaluate your friendships."

He shrugs his shoulders, content with all of those fairly obvious hints. "But you don't care, so we should move on. I imagine we'll need to discuss your punishment, if you'd prefer."

What did he mean with that? Sollux's head went through many possible conclusions, each seeming less likely than the next. One of his friends? Odds are Murdoc was just messing with his head, and it was working. Partially.

"I'm going two let you have your thick fantathy."

...

"You know I'm not going two give you any nameth."

"Fantasy? Choose your words more carefully, Captor. You're in enough trouble as it is without makin' your own life more miserable.

As you wish. I'm sure you're more than capable of scrubbin' bedpans for the nurses. Perhaps you would also benefit in assistin' the herbology teachers with weeds."

'The only trouble I get mythelf in ith the one you want me two.'

A heavy breath as he tried to calm down. It wasn't working, though. At least not to a very big extent.

'If you want two hold a grudge tho bad, then go ahead and give me detention.'

A shrug.

'Jutht goeth two thow your worth ath a teacher.'

"Ah. No. The trouble you get yourself into is the trouble you confessed to and also participated in. It would be particularly bad form of me as a professor to let you go without punishment after you owned up to your wrong doings and as such, you will be made an example of. I believe that is part of my job as a professor and if you expected any less you are a fool."

He stands before Sollux can answer and crosses the room, opening the door. "You are to head to the nurses office when you are able. I will be informing them of your most gracious offer of assistance and they will inform me if you do not arrive.

Now, get out of my sight."

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I know you aren't one to kiss and tell..

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