Bro Strider (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
plushaeusrumpified) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
sortinghat_logs2012-05-14 12:58 am
plushaeusrumpified) wrote in sortinghat_logs2012-05-14 12:58 am
Entry tags:
Striders in mourning
WHO: Bro Strider, Dirk Strider.
TONE: ANGST. Strider Angst. ALL THE SADS.
RATING: PG-13ish for Strider language
WHEN: May 14, evening
WHERE: Strider House, Soho
WHAT: Dirk's dad, Bro's brother, died. Bro went to make sure Dirk wasn't put in a foster care and now he's moving in with them.
STATUS: Ongoing
-
The news that Dirk's dad had died was pretty much the most unexpected news Bro could have received. And the absolute worst. He was only a few years older than Bro, for fucks sake! You just... didn't die, when you were still that young. It wasn't supposed to happen, so why the hell did it happen? It just didn't make any sense at all to Bro.
And he was a complete emotional rollercoaster. He and his brother hadn't talked in a while. It suddenly wasn't making any sense to Bro why that was even a thing. They lived like five fucking miles from each other, so why the hell didn't they talk more? Why the fuck was it that he hadn't seen Dirk in... fuck, he didn't even know how long? Yeah. They'd had their issues. A lot of them, to be honest. Bro had been resentful to his entire family ever since graduation. Sure they didn't leave him with nothing, but he didn't have them, and that felt a little like nothing. And that was why he'd been resentful over his brother. Because he wasn't a wizard, he could have the family that had left Bro.
But that seemed like a stupid reason to end up not talking to him. It wasn't as if Bro was unhappy anyway. He had Dave, and their life was pretty goddamn good; not the most normal, but what was the point in being normal, if it was boring? So why the fuck had he thrown away a relationship with his brother just over some stupid, petty reasons? They hadn't felt so petty before, though. Especially not in the occasional argument he'd had with his brother. Those stupid arguments that seemed so pointless now.
Bro had never dealt with death before, and it was turning out to be really hard. And he didn't actually have anyone he could talk to. Except Dave, and they'd only had a few minutes back at Hogwarts to say goodbye. He wasn't used to feeling this needy and vulnerable, nor was he used to feeling this much regret. And a part of him felt angry over it. He was a Strider, he wasn't supposed to be feeling this way. He was supposed to put on his best pokerface and pretend that he wasn't feeling anything at all. So why wasn't he doing that? Why was he letting the guilt and regret consume him?
Maybe it was because he was staring at the one person in the world who still reminded him most of his brother. Dirk was making it really, really hard. He hadn't seen the kid in years, they'd always joked about how Dirk could be Bro's son because of how much he resembled Bro. But at that moment, he'd never looked more like his father, and that was really hard for Bro to handle. But he didn't blame Dirk for that- it would be a really stupid thing to blame him for, and it wasn't a thing he would allow himself to resent him for. No, if anything he felt... oddly comforted by it. As if his brother wasn't entirely gone. And he wasn't. A piece of him was still right there in front of Bro.
But it still hurt like a bitch knowing how much he'd fucked up by not keeping in contact with his brother. He didn't know what to do with all of these feelings, he wasn't used to them in the least. They swarmed inside of him like a hurricane and made him feel simultaneously nauseous and annoyingly like he wanted to cry. There was a perpetual lump in his throat that no amount of swallowing could get rid of. It just mixed with his other frustrations and made him angry. Angry and sad and fuck he didn't know what to do. Dirk hadn't said a word since he'd gone to get him, and Bro didn't know what to say to him. Luckily he hadn't really needed to say anything.
Not until they'd made it to the apartment, finally. He twisted the key in the lock and opened the door into the dark, quiet apartment. It was dark now, so he had to navigate a few feet in the dark to navigate the lightswitch. Everything was turned off, since he was staying at Hogwarts, so it was entirely pitch black. Bro knew the inside of the apartment better than the back of his hand though, so he found the light switch with ease and flicked it. The lights came on in their fairly small apartment. It was a little messy still, despite the fact it hadn't seen life in a few weeks. The smuppets were enchanted though, so they probably moved around and ruffled the place up a little bit when they got horny. Luckily, they were also enchanted not to do that around kids and/or muggles. And Dirk counted as a kid and a muggle, so there would be no perverted puppet on puppet action for a while.
He stepped further into the apartment and came to rest against the back of the futon, arms folded against his chest as his eyes darted over the floor slowly, before coming to rest on Dirk who trailed behind a little. Bro opened his mouth to speak, but he didn't know what to say. Dirk wasn't initiating anything, and Bro legitimately didn't know what to say. He closed his mouth, swallowed, and tried again. "Uh... Yeah, this is our place." Idiot, he knew that, he'd been there before. God, you're so stupid. "I mean, make yourself... at home..." He trailed off. God, he was so stupid, he had no idea what to say at fucking all. But he knew he needed to say something. If he didn't say something, if he just left Dirk to his own devices and disappear somewhere, he would officially be the worst person in the world.
But he really did just want to disappear, in a way. The thought of going out and getting sloppy drunk seemed like a really good idea. He couldn't do that, though. He had to say something to Dirk to make it better, because if he himself was hurting this badly, then he could only imagine how Dirk must have been feeling. Bro just didn't know what to say. He was never good at talking about feelings, especially his own. It was only recently that he actually realized it was okay to actually maybe hug sometimes, that it didn't make him a total pussy. But hugging seemed so far from talking at the moment. Maybe if he wasn't so upset about it, it would've been easier.
Then the idea that maybe the fact they had lost the same person, and could help each other, crossed his mind. That had to make it easier, right? They were both going through the same thing, so of course they needed to talk to each other. They could get through it together. But that realization didn't make it easier for him to open his mouth and say something. It just clawed at the wound and made it hurt more, because Dirk had lost him too. It made Bro feel horrible. He swallowed again. "Dirk...I...Are you alright, man?" he finally managed to get out, his voice quiet but audible in the silence of the apartment.
TONE: ANGST. Strider Angst. ALL THE SADS.
RATING: PG-13ish for Strider language
WHEN: May 14, evening
WHERE: Strider House, Soho
WHAT: Dirk's dad, Bro's brother, died. Bro went to make sure Dirk wasn't put in a foster care and now he's moving in with them.
STATUS: Ongoing
-
The news that Dirk's dad had died was pretty much the most unexpected news Bro could have received. And the absolute worst. He was only a few years older than Bro, for fucks sake! You just... didn't die, when you were still that young. It wasn't supposed to happen, so why the hell did it happen? It just didn't make any sense at all to Bro.
And he was a complete emotional rollercoaster. He and his brother hadn't talked in a while. It suddenly wasn't making any sense to Bro why that was even a thing. They lived like five fucking miles from each other, so why the hell didn't they talk more? Why the fuck was it that he hadn't seen Dirk in... fuck, he didn't even know how long? Yeah. They'd had their issues. A lot of them, to be honest. Bro had been resentful to his entire family ever since graduation. Sure they didn't leave him with nothing, but he didn't have them, and that felt a little like nothing. And that was why he'd been resentful over his brother. Because he wasn't a wizard, he could have the family that had left Bro.
But that seemed like a stupid reason to end up not talking to him. It wasn't as if Bro was unhappy anyway. He had Dave, and their life was pretty goddamn good; not the most normal, but what was the point in being normal, if it was boring? So why the fuck had he thrown away a relationship with his brother just over some stupid, petty reasons? They hadn't felt so petty before, though. Especially not in the occasional argument he'd had with his brother. Those stupid arguments that seemed so pointless now.
Bro had never dealt with death before, and it was turning out to be really hard. And he didn't actually have anyone he could talk to. Except Dave, and they'd only had a few minutes back at Hogwarts to say goodbye. He wasn't used to feeling this needy and vulnerable, nor was he used to feeling this much regret. And a part of him felt angry over it. He was a Strider, he wasn't supposed to be feeling this way. He was supposed to put on his best pokerface and pretend that he wasn't feeling anything at all. So why wasn't he doing that? Why was he letting the guilt and regret consume him?
Maybe it was because he was staring at the one person in the world who still reminded him most of his brother. Dirk was making it really, really hard. He hadn't seen the kid in years, they'd always joked about how Dirk could be Bro's son because of how much he resembled Bro. But at that moment, he'd never looked more like his father, and that was really hard for Bro to handle. But he didn't blame Dirk for that- it would be a really stupid thing to blame him for, and it wasn't a thing he would allow himself to resent him for. No, if anything he felt... oddly comforted by it. As if his brother wasn't entirely gone. And he wasn't. A piece of him was still right there in front of Bro.
But it still hurt like a bitch knowing how much he'd fucked up by not keeping in contact with his brother. He didn't know what to do with all of these feelings, he wasn't used to them in the least. They swarmed inside of him like a hurricane and made him feel simultaneously nauseous and annoyingly like he wanted to cry. There was a perpetual lump in his throat that no amount of swallowing could get rid of. It just mixed with his other frustrations and made him angry. Angry and sad and fuck he didn't know what to do. Dirk hadn't said a word since he'd gone to get him, and Bro didn't know what to say to him. Luckily he hadn't really needed to say anything.
Not until they'd made it to the apartment, finally. He twisted the key in the lock and opened the door into the dark, quiet apartment. It was dark now, so he had to navigate a few feet in the dark to navigate the lightswitch. Everything was turned off, since he was staying at Hogwarts, so it was entirely pitch black. Bro knew the inside of the apartment better than the back of his hand though, so he found the light switch with ease and flicked it. The lights came on in their fairly small apartment. It was a little messy still, despite the fact it hadn't seen life in a few weeks. The smuppets were enchanted though, so they probably moved around and ruffled the place up a little bit when they got horny. Luckily, they were also enchanted not to do that around kids and/or muggles. And Dirk counted as a kid and a muggle, so there would be no perverted puppet on puppet action for a while.
He stepped further into the apartment and came to rest against the back of the futon, arms folded against his chest as his eyes darted over the floor slowly, before coming to rest on Dirk who trailed behind a little. Bro opened his mouth to speak, but he didn't know what to say. Dirk wasn't initiating anything, and Bro legitimately didn't know what to say. He closed his mouth, swallowed, and tried again. "Uh... Yeah, this is our place." Idiot, he knew that, he'd been there before. God, you're so stupid. "I mean, make yourself... at home..." He trailed off. God, he was so stupid, he had no idea what to say at fucking all. But he knew he needed to say something. If he didn't say something, if he just left Dirk to his own devices and disappear somewhere, he would officially be the worst person in the world.
But he really did just want to disappear, in a way. The thought of going out and getting sloppy drunk seemed like a really good idea. He couldn't do that, though. He had to say something to Dirk to make it better, because if he himself was hurting this badly, then he could only imagine how Dirk must have been feeling. Bro just didn't know what to say. He was never good at talking about feelings, especially his own. It was only recently that he actually realized it was okay to actually maybe hug sometimes, that it didn't make him a total pussy. But hugging seemed so far from talking at the moment. Maybe if he wasn't so upset about it, it would've been easier.
Then the idea that maybe the fact they had lost the same person, and could help each other, crossed his mind. That had to make it easier, right? They were both going through the same thing, so of course they needed to talk to each other. They could get through it together. But that realization didn't make it easier for him to open his mouth and say something. It just clawed at the wound and made it hurt more, because Dirk had lost him too. It made Bro feel horrible. He swallowed again. "Dirk...I...Are you alright, man?" he finally managed to get out, his voice quiet but audible in the silence of the apartment.