Graham Specter (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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sortinghat_logs2013-01-27 09:22 pm
heartwrenching) wrote in sortinghat_logs2013-01-27 09:22 pm
Entry tags:
Match 3 - Ravenclaw vs. Slytherin
WHO: Ravenclaw and Slytherin Quidditch Teams with Graham Specter screaming commentary
TONE: Athletic, competitive
RATING: PG-13 for Graham being Graham
WHEN: Sunday, January 27th
WHERE: Quidditch pitch
WHAT: The third match of the season!
STATUS: Completed
Hello, hello, HELLO HOGWARTS! It’s been too long, right? Damn near ages! An entire epoch of human history has come and gone between the last Qudditch match and now! Countless lives begun and ended, loves blossomed and withered away, SUNRISE SUNSET ON THIS SAD, SAD, EPHEMERAL LITTLE BUBBLE OF EXISTENCE!!
Yes, that’s right - a mere two months have passed since the last Quidditch match, and now we’re back for more! Time flies! Seems like only yesterday I was watching Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff go head-to-head, and now Ravenclaw’s back for more! This time we’ve got ourselves a doozy of a match! We’re looking at smarties-vs-haughties, intellect-vs-insidiousness, RAVENCLAW VS SLYTHERIN!
And here come our two teams now and – SUCH AUDACITY! Looks like Tony Stark didn’t learn a lesson in humility after his team blew the last match with the unsuspecting, cozy little badgers of Hufflepuff, because he’s even showier than he was before! My sympathies go out to everyone in the audience who’s been blinded by Stark’s little display here. His team’s covered head to toe in glitzy, glamorous charms. They’re glittering and sparkling with blue and bronze with every step they take! I can hear the jeers from Slytherin section, and now the philosophical question of the day: do they have a point? On one hand, oh my, could that be used for exceptionally cheap, distracting tactics! But on the other, WHO CARES WHAT SLYTHERIN THINKS?!
Apparently the ref does! Looks like Ravenclaw’s been asked to dull their shine. Tony gives a signal to the team, and…
Oh my, my, my – SOMEONE thinks they’re a clever boots! Looks like Tony anticipated the ref would rain on his glittery parade, because the spell ends with the lights shooting off from the Ravenclaw team’s robes, rocketing high into the air to form the bronze and blue shape of an eagle with a dead snake in its beak! The Ravenclaw stands are going wild, and it sure as hell sounds like Gryffindor and Hufflepuff are rather impressed themselves! And no, that other thing you’re hearing ISN’T the air slowly draining from a giant balloon, but rather all of Slytherin united in hissing just like their mascot.
Wit beyond measure indeed, you eggheads!! But your boots need to be a hell of a lot more than just clever if you want to kick the opposition right where it REALLY COUNTS, if you wanna send them sprawling to the ground in high-voiced, squeaking, misery! Have you got that steel-toed quality to your boots, Stark?!
LET’S FIND OUT IN A TRIAL OF FIRE! RAVENCLAW, SLYTHERIN, THE TIME IS NOW!
The Quaffle’s up and Bonnibel Bubbington nabs it! She and Natasha Romanoff form a spiraling pattern, passing the ball back and forth. Eridan Ampora sends a Bludger their way, but NOT GOOD ENOUGH! It gets close, but the girls perform an elaborate dodge! And… where the hell did the Quaffle go?! It looks like they don’t have it anymore! Are my eyes deceiving me!? Are you seeing this too, Hogwarts, or have I – one of the lone, consistently SANE minds in this damned crazy school – finally plunged screaming off the deep end?!
Tony’s hunched over like he’s got the Quaffle! Eridan focuses his pretty tragically distracted lookin’ energy on Stark, while the other Slytherin Beater looks like he doesn’t know how to make heads or tails of Tony darting off away from the Slytherin goal while the girls heading down the pitch! Eridan puts all his weight into it and sends another Bludger at Tony, and it bounces off his broom! He’s jostled pretty hard, but… THAT TRICKY BASTARD. He’s sticking his tongue out at Eridan and wiggling his VERY VERY VERY EMPTY FINGERS! He never had the Quaffle at all!
Natasha was hiding it! She blasts the Quaffle past Slytherin’s keeper, putting the game at 10-0 Ravenclaw!
Arthur Kirkland’s got the Quaffle now, and he begins his grand tour toward Ravenclaw’s goals! Where’d he get that fancy new broom, anyway? It’s better than the beat-up old jalopy he had before. What a heap that thing was. Believe me on my authority as someone who’s beautifully, artfully destroyed more junked old brooms than an army of maids on strike!! But anyway, can you believe I’m up against this bushy-browed guy in the upcoming Dueling Tournament, Hogwarts? What am I supposed to do with that, huh? At least he’s got those two fuzzy caterpillar-looking big blond targets on his face for my spells. I will turn them into beautiful butterflies. Or bruises. Those are beautiful too. Hell, even more so! But I’m getting ahead of myself here. Looks like Peter Parker wants to bruise up Kirkland, too! With a powerful blow, he sends a Bludger right for Arthur and –
POW, RIGHT IN THE SHOULDER! Looks like a painful hit, too, though Arthur manages to hold onto the Quaffle! … wait. Wait, hold on. A thought’s comin’ to me. Give it a second and DAMN! DAMN! If that hit affects his ability to give me a good duel, I’m gonna lose it! I might be losing it now! DID I EVER EVEN HAVE ‘IT’, WHATEVER IT IS?! WHAT IS IT?!? GOD, if I’m left bored in the Dueling Tournament, I’m gonna end you myself, Peter Parker!!
Ahhh but maybe not! Kirkland still gets in a strong throw and it’s clear! 10-10, we’ve got ourselves a tie!
Oh, looks like the Seekers are onto something already, with the game still so young! Katniss Everdeen looks like she’s spotted the Snitch! Coraline is on her tail, but Katniss definitely has the advantage as she powers after that streak of gold.
And what’s this? Tony’s flying around the pitch, shouting directions at the team. They nod and… begin chanting? Can you hear it, Hogwarts? They’re chanting Coraline’s name! COR-A-LINE, COR-A-LINE, just like that!
That seems to light some fire under the little Seeker, and she’s catching up with Katniss! The two weave back and forth in pursuit of the Snitch, each trying to outwit and out-speed the other! AND A SUDDEN DIRECTION CHANGE FROM THE SNITCH! It’s closer to Coraline! She makes a stretch for it… annnnnnnd…
CAUGHT!
RAVENCLAW HAS CAUGHT THE SNITCH!
160-10: RAVENCLAW ARE THE WINNERS!
TONE: Athletic, competitive
RATING: PG-13 for Graham being Graham
WHEN: Sunday, January 27th
WHERE: Quidditch pitch
WHAT: The third match of the season!
STATUS: Completed
Hello, hello, HELLO HOGWARTS! It’s been too long, right? Damn near ages! An entire epoch of human history has come and gone between the last Qudditch match and now! Countless lives begun and ended, loves blossomed and withered away, SUNRISE SUNSET ON THIS SAD, SAD, EPHEMERAL LITTLE BUBBLE OF EXISTENCE!!
Yes, that’s right - a mere two months have passed since the last Quidditch match, and now we’re back for more! Time flies! Seems like only yesterday I was watching Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff go head-to-head, and now Ravenclaw’s back for more! This time we’ve got ourselves a doozy of a match! We’re looking at smarties-vs-haughties, intellect-vs-insidiousness, RAVENCLAW VS SLYTHERIN!
And here come our two teams now and – SUCH AUDACITY! Looks like Tony Stark didn’t learn a lesson in humility after his team blew the last match with the unsuspecting, cozy little badgers of Hufflepuff, because he’s even showier than he was before! My sympathies go out to everyone in the audience who’s been blinded by Stark’s little display here. His team’s covered head to toe in glitzy, glamorous charms. They’re glittering and sparkling with blue and bronze with every step they take! I can hear the jeers from Slytherin section, and now the philosophical question of the day: do they have a point? On one hand, oh my, could that be used for exceptionally cheap, distracting tactics! But on the other, WHO CARES WHAT SLYTHERIN THINKS?!
Apparently the ref does! Looks like Ravenclaw’s been asked to dull their shine. Tony gives a signal to the team, and…
Oh my, my, my – SOMEONE thinks they’re a clever boots! Looks like Tony anticipated the ref would rain on his glittery parade, because the spell ends with the lights shooting off from the Ravenclaw team’s robes, rocketing high into the air to form the bronze and blue shape of an eagle with a dead snake in its beak! The Ravenclaw stands are going wild, and it sure as hell sounds like Gryffindor and Hufflepuff are rather impressed themselves! And no, that other thing you’re hearing ISN’T the air slowly draining from a giant balloon, but rather all of Slytherin united in hissing just like their mascot.
Wit beyond measure indeed, you eggheads!! But your boots need to be a hell of a lot more than just clever if you want to kick the opposition right where it REALLY COUNTS, if you wanna send them sprawling to the ground in high-voiced, squeaking, misery! Have you got that steel-toed quality to your boots, Stark?!
LET’S FIND OUT IN A TRIAL OF FIRE! RAVENCLAW, SLYTHERIN, THE TIME IS NOW!
The Quaffle’s up and Bonnibel Bubbington nabs it! She and Natasha Romanoff form a spiraling pattern, passing the ball back and forth. Eridan Ampora sends a Bludger their way, but NOT GOOD ENOUGH! It gets close, but the girls perform an elaborate dodge! And… where the hell did the Quaffle go?! It looks like they don’t have it anymore! Are my eyes deceiving me!? Are you seeing this too, Hogwarts, or have I – one of the lone, consistently SANE minds in this damned crazy school – finally plunged screaming off the deep end?!
Tony’s hunched over like he’s got the Quaffle! Eridan focuses his pretty tragically distracted lookin’ energy on Stark, while the other Slytherin Beater looks like he doesn’t know how to make heads or tails of Tony darting off away from the Slytherin goal while the girls heading down the pitch! Eridan puts all his weight into it and sends another Bludger at Tony, and it bounces off his broom! He’s jostled pretty hard, but… THAT TRICKY BASTARD. He’s sticking his tongue out at Eridan and wiggling his VERY VERY VERY EMPTY FINGERS! He never had the Quaffle at all!
Natasha was hiding it! She blasts the Quaffle past Slytherin’s keeper, putting the game at 10-0 Ravenclaw!
Arthur Kirkland’s got the Quaffle now, and he begins his grand tour toward Ravenclaw’s goals! Where’d he get that fancy new broom, anyway? It’s better than the beat-up old jalopy he had before. What a heap that thing was. Believe me on my authority as someone who’s beautifully, artfully destroyed more junked old brooms than an army of maids on strike!! But anyway, can you believe I’m up against this bushy-browed guy in the upcoming Dueling Tournament, Hogwarts? What am I supposed to do with that, huh? At least he’s got those two fuzzy caterpillar-looking big blond targets on his face for my spells. I will turn them into beautiful butterflies. Or bruises. Those are beautiful too. Hell, even more so! But I’m getting ahead of myself here. Looks like Peter Parker wants to bruise up Kirkland, too! With a powerful blow, he sends a Bludger right for Arthur and –
POW, RIGHT IN THE SHOULDER! Looks like a painful hit, too, though Arthur manages to hold onto the Quaffle! … wait. Wait, hold on. A thought’s comin’ to me. Give it a second and DAMN! DAMN! If that hit affects his ability to give me a good duel, I’m gonna lose it! I might be losing it now! DID I EVER EVEN HAVE ‘IT’, WHATEVER IT IS?! WHAT IS IT?!? GOD, if I’m left bored in the Dueling Tournament, I’m gonna end you myself, Peter Parker!!
Ahhh but maybe not! Kirkland still gets in a strong throw and it’s clear! 10-10, we’ve got ourselves a tie!
Oh, looks like the Seekers are onto something already, with the game still so young! Katniss Everdeen looks like she’s spotted the Snitch! Coraline is on her tail, but Katniss definitely has the advantage as she powers after that streak of gold.
And what’s this? Tony’s flying around the pitch, shouting directions at the team. They nod and… begin chanting? Can you hear it, Hogwarts? They’re chanting Coraline’s name! COR-A-LINE, COR-A-LINE, just like that!
That seems to light some fire under the little Seeker, and she’s catching up with Katniss! The two weave back and forth in pursuit of the Snitch, each trying to outwit and out-speed the other! AND A SUDDEN DIRECTION CHANGE FROM THE SNITCH! It’s closer to Coraline! She makes a stretch for it… annnnnnnd…
CAUGHT!
RAVENCLAW HAS CAUGHT THE SNITCH!
160-10: RAVENCLAW ARE THE WINNERS!