sortinghat_logs | [closed] but how much would I give to have it back again?

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[closed] but how much would I give to have it back again?

WHO: Constance and Feferi Peixes
TONE: Sad, heartbroken, etc.
RATING: PG-ish
WHEN: 14 November, after her conversation with Eridan
WHERE: Constance's office
WHAT: this happened. it's been discussed not!mum to not!son. and now it needs to be discussed, mum-to-daughter.
STATUS: [ONGOING]

[Constance was exhausted after talking with Eridan, but she made herself drink a cup of tea as she waited for Feferi. She needed to speak with her daughter, tired or not. Things needed to be said, no matter how exhausted she was. No matter how much they hurt, no matter how tired she was.

She wasn't pacing now, instead sitting at her desk, a pot of tea in front of her. She dabbed at her eyes now and then, but she was determined to at least try and look composed.]

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[WIth all that is happening, feferi is not surprised that her mother has called her over to her office. She is unsure what exactly to except from this conversation at the same time. The message she got sounded rather urgent thought, so Feferi made way as quickly to her mother's office, Feferi also knew that the door would be open, so she lightly knocked on the door and slowly opened it.]

Mum, you called me?

Come in, sweetheart. Shut the door behind you?

[Her voice is tired, to say the least, and it sounds like she's been crying.]

Yeah, sure.

[She quietly closes the door behind her, she turns to smile at her mother, but can't the moment she sees her face. She feels slightly unsure of what she should do, give her a hug? But, she needs to hear what her mother has to say first.]

You wanted to talk?

I do. I'm sure you've seen what happened over the journals. And I'm also sure you've noticed how distant I've been towards your father this semester.

[It may seem paranoid, but Constance is going to charm the room just to be sure that its walls don't have any extra eyes or ears.]

...things didn't happen as I had hoped they would. And it was quite the shock to me when I found out about the upcoming wedding plans via the journals. I would have hoped that, given the situation, he would have cared enough about you to break that news to you and to me personally.

But that isn't what I really wanted to discuss. I want you to know that I love you and your sister very much. No matter what I may have said, that was the hurt from what your father did talking.

You and Meenah are the world to me. I want you to know that.

[She feels nervous, as she listens to her mother. She tries her best not to fidget with her fingers, but it's hard to stop herself. She knows this is something her mother needed to say, but in Feferi's position? It was difficult, she can't make her mother's situation better and she can't really defend her father's actions.

While, Eridan and her mother had the chance to get angry at his father, Feferi couldn't. Even, when the wedding announcement was done over the journals, she just accept it with grace. She didn't really know how else to deal with it.

She looks at her mother when she mentions how much she loves her and replies.]

I know, things have been really difficult for you, especially between you and him. He throw you things that you weren't excepting him too, and none of us saw coming from a mile away. I guess i didn't know how to react to most of it, i just accepted it, cause i felt like they was nothing else i could do.

I just knew i couldn't do anything to help you or fix the situation, i've felt so useless lately with everything that's been happening. So, i am sorry that haven't been any help to you at all, Mum.

I know you do and i love you too, mum! You will always one of the most important people in my life, no matter what happens.

I can't expect you to help get me through everything, Feferi. It's not fair to you. It's not fair that you haven't been able to express any feelings about it. You should be able to get angry and upset if you need to. You've the right to your feelings.

[There's a long pause.]

Feferi, it's not fair of me to let what I feel affect anyone else. It's especially not fair of me to ask for anyone's help in handling a broken heart. I need to simply accept it and to move on. I can't spend the rest of my life wishing for what isn't meant to be.

I'm your mother; I'm the one who should be helping you get through your own romantic ups and downs and such. I need to be stronger than this.

I'm so sorry I haven't been as strong as I should be. I truly am.

I know, but i still feel like i haven't been really there for you. You've been suffering alone mum and i just wish i could been more of help to you.

It's true, i shouldn't have to keep it all in, but i didn't think lashing out at anyone wasn't really going to help anyone. I can't change what's happened, i just have to make best of the situation.

As much as you are my mother; you aren't superhuman either. I can't except you just to be able to handle every emotional thing! We all have our moments.

Feferi, it isn't your place. Your sole responsibility right now is to your schoolwork and to being happy. You don't need to have that extra responsibility of taking care of me on top of it.

I'm your mum and you're my daughter. It's my place to be there for you. If you need to let something out, you can.

My problems shouldn't be splashed out all over the place. I'm sorry for that.

[She going to protest against her mother anyway.]

But i am happy, I have lots of fun at school so far!! For me, it's not extra responsibly, it is what family do for each other.

But you always been there for me when i needed you and i know you always will be.

You haven't be splashing them everywhere, you've been suffering by yourself, and that's what worries me even more.

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[closed] but how much would I give to have it back again?

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i tl;dr without even meaning too;;;;

it's okay ;;

<3

<3

You have permission to kick me.