sortinghat_logs | Shadow Event Log

[Should studying really be this difficult right now?

Roderich is in the library, at his favorite table, honestly just trying to get his work done. It started with a headache the previous night, and not even leftover chocolates from his birthday helped with that. He was plagued with nightmares about just about everything he could possibly be concerned over. This wasn't uncommon, but all those thoughts were exceedingly hard to shake today. So much so that he could swear he heard his own voice criticizing his every move. Likely, it was just the presence of intrusive thoughts that could be directly traced back to his OCD, but generally they weren't this... audible. Usually nothing more than a song that's impossible to get out of one's head. This... this sounded like someone was playing the song in his ear.

You only ever do anything for your mother's sake. It's not even anything to be ashamed of, is it? It's the easiest option, anyway. Everything's taken care of. And when she's not available, which is most of the time, you go to others to replace it. Look at how many sweets you got from that clever little letter you wrote to everyone on your birthday! Pity they only gave them to you because they felt obligated. But that's all you care about anyway, right? People should be respectful of you. They owe it to you! Ah, but for what -- you don't give anything back, you just take, and if you think your company is worth a damn you can think again. But regardless you've done quite a nice job making a home away from home in this respect. You're still spoiled. You've still got everyone wrapped around your finger because you're just so good at looking pitiful. Why, it's as I'd you've never left your crib; but it's the way you live your life, isn't it? So relax. You won't have to worry about ever becoming an adult.

...But why, then, are you denying the thing your mother wants most for you? Elizaveta is there, waiting, all according to your mother's plan. Waiting for you to drop your books and just hold her, or kiss her, or worse, right in front of everyone so that they'll stop bothering you about it saying how perfect you are for each other, isn't that a grand way to get them to SHUT UP -- now don't tell me you haven't had the thought hundreds of times already! Be happy; be married! Make a family, give your old woman some grandchildren. Get to it. It's all you ever think about anyway, is it not? Lord, but good luck getting her to comply when you look as shabby as you do right now. Did you look in the mirror at all when you left your dorm this morning, or were you too busy rushing because you're always late? You're hardly presentable. Look at your hair, it's falling down again. Your glasses are dirty. But you don't need them, anyway. Who are you kidding?

You're fake.

That's all you'll ever be to anyone else, too. Especially her.

Screwing his eyes shut, he tries to block out the voice and just read, like he's been trying to do all evening. Finally he can't take it anymore, and he slams his book shut and is ready to leave to go take a nap to clear his head -- such a lazy thing you are! -- when he sees a double of himself, sitting directly across from him, arms behind his head, feet in dirty shoes on the table. His clothing is frumpy and unclean, his hair shaggy and uncombed, no styling whatsoever, and he's missing his glasses. Is that... marmalade on his face??

He looks around briefly, seeing a friend pass by and nod at him, as if absolutely nothing is wrong.

He's the only one who sees this. He's out of his mind.

The figure waves at him.

Oh, and you don't practice nearly enough. You expect to have a career like this?]

[Arthur's in the library for his own reasons. He's seen Roderich, but they don't need to spend all their time together just because they're friends, do they? Besides, the other boy looks busy enough.

He's about to leave when he notices that there's suddenly someone sitting across from Roderich, and it's not that fact that causes him to pause, but the expression on his friend's face as he looks at him. Arthur frowns, looks between the door and Roderich, then makes his way over. Something makes him place his hand on the other boy's shoulder when he's close enough to do so, his free arm holding the book he's borrowing against him.]

Hey, Roderich.

[Who the hell is this guy? Arthur can't help feeling a little uneasy.]

.. Who's your friend?

[Oh thank god he showed up, honestly. Thank. God. He flinches a bit at the touch of Arthur's hand, but ultimately it's a comfort.]

...Y-you see him. God. No one else is noticing -- he won't shut up. I've got no idea who he is, but look at him, he's -- [He directs his attention at his shadow.] ... Who the hell are you, and how did you get your hands on polyjuice potion? No one even knows this much about me, except maybe -- [He freezes for a moment, blood running cold, and he looks the shadow straight in the eye. Livid.] ... Elizaveta if that is you, so help me. This is not. Funny.

[The figure laughs.

How's this -- you never told anyone you still have that scar on your arse from when she stabbed you with a compass when you were toddlers, did you? Not even her. Is that proof enough? I'm you. But I'm still just a part of your mind - go on, touch me. I don't really exist.

Roderich hesitantly reaches out to poke the illusion in the shoulder, and his hands pass right through him. He shudders.

Though you must be close enough friends with Arthur here, if he can see me. That's nice. It's good to make lots, and lots of friends. They're handy to have around so that you can use them to your advantage if the need arises. Oh, no, it's not taking advantage, is it? No, never. Everyone's selfish. Might as well just admit that you are, too.

Roderich grits his teeth.] ...Get the hell away from me. No one invited you.

A-Arthur, you know you're my friend. I don't know what this thing is going on about.

[The look in his eyes is entirely sincere; he means it. Except that he does know, this projection of him is hitting on everything he's afraid of becoming.]

[Arthur slowly sets his book down on the table as the other boy - which he recognises, strangely, as a heavily distorted mirror image of Roderich - speaks. He would have thought polyjuice potion, too, until he sees that the thing is quite incorporeal. A ghost, then? But no, even a ghost couldn't know that much about Roderich.

His eyes narrow slightly as he's referred to directly. He and the brunette have always had an odd kind of friendship, that's for sure, but they were most certainly friends. Slanting his gaze over, he nods once.]

I know I'm your friend.

[Lips pressed together, his mind slowly ticks over as he tries to think what might be causing this apparition. The castle playing tricks again? He wouldn't be surprised.

He picks up his book again, speaks quietly.]

Whatever it is, we shouldn't talk to it here or people might think we're going mad.

[Hah! They'd be right, at least.

Roderich takes a deep breath, at least slightly comforted that this isn't entirely in his own mind. Of course, that meant it was caused by something else, which... wasn't a comfort at all. He looks around at his surroundings, then resumes his feigned interest in his studies. He replies without lifting his gaze from the text, his speech as nonchalant as he can muster.]

Do you think we should tell a teacher... was just going to sleep it off but if you can see it too... makes me think I've been cursed.

If you have, then so have I, and I don't know anyone who dislikes both of us that much.

[He keeps his own voice low, nonchalant, putting his back to the shadow and leaning against the edge of the table.]

But informing a professor doesn't sound like a terribly bad idea. The question is, who would be most likely to listen?

[Getting someone else to get you out of trouble -- how predictable.

Roderich rubs his temple.] Well for one, I've had a hell of a headache since last night, and I suspect it's related... wouldn't mind seeing the nurse...

[Again?! God, what is actually wrong with you? Most people can get through a day with something as minor as a headache.]

...I'd assume it's attached to me primarily, so if... you could maybe ask Professor Vantas if he's read about anything like this happening before? While I'm being taken care of.

[There you go again.]

...I'll ask Ms. Maryam, too, mind. Just -- be sure to mention that it knows everything about me. And... [The next bit is rather difficult to get out, and he frowns, looking away as he speaks under his breath.] ....knows what I'm afraid of.

[You forgot what you want. I know what you want.]

Oh, my God, just stop.

[Arthur closes his eyes and pointedly doesn't listen to the whispering behind him, giving a small nod at each of the staff names mentioned. Professor Vantas, he knows, is something of a scatterbrain but he cares about the students and would want to help. As for Ms. Maryam.. the moment the nurse caught wind of anything like this happening she'd turn the school upside-down for a solution.

All in all, both good choices.]

Of course. I'd be happy to speak to Professor Vantas.

[He glances back over his shoulder. No, Arthur, don't talk to it, don't talk to it.]

... What do you mean? What does he want?

Thank you...

[Arthur, you don't have to hide your annoyance by saying you're happy to do that for him. All he does is order people around, and he knows it. Any stronger person would be perfectly capable of talking to both of them himself. It is his problem, after all, and he should take care of it himself. But he doesn't. You go ahead and let him be a child.

The shadow grins. Ah, you're curious?]

Stop it. Now.

[Well, we'll start gently. He's more interested in muggle music - you know how much he's gone on about how using magical aid for composing is cheating. At least he's held himself to that, but isn't it just an excuse for him to use for being slow? Ah, but that's besides the point. He wants to make his career there and is too cowardly to tell his mother because she's dead set on him staying in the wizarding world. That's one. The other thing he wants is Eliza. And the irony is that it's a setup from his mother anyway to restore blood purity from her mistake of having him! But look at him, you'd never know how often he thinks about getting under that girl's skirt...

Were he a Gryffindor, the color of his cheeks might match the red of his tie. Without much warning, there's Roderich's heavy book in the air, having been thrown out of instinctual anger, forgetting that the figure is insubstantial. The book passes through the shadow's head and flops to the ground, after barely missing Arthur's shoulder. And the figure only laughs.

Roderich looks at Arthur, eyes wide with fury and desperation, speaking through his teeth.] If you dare. Say a word of that. To anyone.

I swear to God I am not giving in to her plan on this, I'm not going to let her control my life--!

[Apparently the shadow knows much less about him than it does about Roderich. He's not annoyed about being asked to help, despite knowing very well that his friend could speak to both members of staff himself, but more ground could be covered far more quickly with two people, and it would bring a quicker end to this if they worked together. Teamwork might not have been the first thing that people thought of when they thought of Slytherin but Arthur wasn't stupid, he knew such things had their benefits.

He listens silently as the shadow continues to speak. Some of what he hears he knows, some he doesn't, but very little of it comes as a surprise to him, save for the last of it. But then, Roderich was a teenager, so why shouldn't he feel that way towards a girl, even if he never spoke of it? It isn't something that Arthur is going to judge him on, in any case.

When the book goes sailing past him, he slants his gaze over to the other boy, one eyebrow faintly quirked.]

I do hope that wasn't a threat.

[He speaks softly, moving to pick up the book, giving a quick glance around for any irate librarians. Only when he's placed it down on the table does he speak again.]

Go and speak to Ms. Maryam. I will see Professor Vantas. In the meantime.. do try to ignore this.. thing. Throwing books across rooms doesn't suit you.

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edle_gestalt - 2012-11-07 19:21 (UTC) - Expand

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edle_gestalt - 2012-11-12 00:44 (UTC) - Expand

[It's time for Feli's daily ~~siesta~~ study session; normally he's thirty minutes later, but he's decided that today will be the day he impresses Ludwig with his timeliness and as such he pops down twenty minutes earlier. Ludwig was a clock personified; he wouldn't be around at the library still it was right on the dot, so he had at least twenty minutes to take a quick nap while waiting for his friend to arrive. Besides, the library was quiet and warm compared to the chilly air outside; it was perfect for a siesta!

Humming a little tune, he steps into the library with a bag of books and a pillow, intent on bagging the tables nearest to the fireplace. It's while he's on the way there, mindful of the rules regarding silence by singing his song quietly under his breath, that he spots a familiar hair strand that refused to stay in place. Feli smiles brightly and waves one hand, forgetting where he currently is by calling out to Roderich.]

Mr Roderich, good afternoon! How are you doing today? I'm here to study with my friend today, you can join us if you want to!!

[Roderich would normally be incredibly put off by the racket Feli is making in a place like the library, but a familiar face is the best thing he could possibly see right now. One that isn't a disheveled version of himself, at least.

He looks up at Feli, forcing a weak smile, forcing himself to ignore that thing sitting across from him.] ...Hello. I've got a... bit of a headache, but...

[Oh, it's that kid. You were so cruel to him. Here he was, separated from his family, and all you did was order him about. Well, with you being so unable to stand up for yourself otherwise, you had to take it out on somebody, right? Doesn't that just upset you?]

D...do you have a minute?

[Feli tilted his head to one side, curious and painfully oblivious to the presence of the shade.]

If you're sick you should go see the Healers! They've got all sorts of fancy medicine and Healing magic to help you feel better.

[There's a weak smile.

Taking advantage of such a nice kid; I bet you're proud.

The smile drops.]

...I don't think I'm sick. I think someone's cursed me. There's a figure that keeps taunting me and I'm fairly sure no one else can see him. I don't know if it's a poltergeist, or what.

...But seeing them doesn't sound like a bad idea regardless.

A c-c-curse!!??

[Feli literally jumps back, terror clear on his face.]

O-Oh no Mr Roderich! Hurry you need to go see the Healers immediately before the curse gets even worse and then you get sick and fall asleep for a hundred years and someone needs to kiss you to wake up, but Eliza won't be there anymore and you'll be heartbroken...

[With wildly gesturing arms, he takes a deep breath before he ends his dire prediction with a loud wail, completely forgetting that it's a library.]

...AND THEN THAT'LL BE THE WORSE EVER ENDING!!!

Shh -- Feli, be quiet --

[The shadow bursts out laughing, and it's the only thing it's done that Roderich can agree on comfortably. He's biting his cheek, trying to keep from encouraging such ridiculous behavior, but good lord, a distraction like that was more welcome than he'd thought. Headache or none.

He pauses though, blushing, looking away.] And what's made you put me in the role of the princess, hmm? Elizaveta is not a prince, surely, let alone would she ever kiss me!

[Come on, you know she could easily carry you off into the sunset. You'd love every minute of it.]

[Feli squeaks and clamps his hands over his mouth, nodding fervently while trying to still his tongue. A few seconds and he mumbles through his fingers, slightly confused.]

B-but she's not the one who's cursed! It's the cursed person who gets kissed, it doesn't matter whether it's the prince or the princess, right?

[As if Elizaveta is having any better luck with all of this nonsense, having been hounded by this damn thing in the back of her head constantly. First it had been going on about how much of a tomboy she is, that she needed to actually pretend to care about the way she looked to others. The way that she moved was also continually sniped at along with the fact that it wasn't anything close to lady-like to be as into Quidditch as she was. That no matter what she told herself she'd never be able to get to that level and even then that no man would ever want her. So, really, she might as well resign herself to being forever alone or going after the ladies instead. But that would absolutely kill her father, not continuing the sad line that was already going.

Eliza could already feel her headache growing from this damned thing, typically rather good at hiding her insecurities and pushing them away for some other time. But today it seemed like everything was coming to a point she didn't want, that it would never end and she'd have to face her fears one way or another. Maybe the library would shut the damn thing up and allow her to think without the intrusive voice for once. What she had noticed, however, was that at the corner of her eye there was always a shadow that seemed almost like her but not quite. Weird.

When she entered the library she took a look around the area and upon spotting Roderich made her way over, raising a hand in a faint greeting gesture on her way over to the chair to the left of just across from him. Her shadow was more than happy to follow after her, though the very feminine and made-up version of her draped her arms over the Roderich shadow.

What a lovely choice~ Why don't you go ahead and give him a better greeting than that? Who cares what anyone thinks, you're a girl, you need to mark your territory after all~

After the words the shadow couldn't help a small smirk, leaning against the chair and placing her rather exposed chest up against shadow Roderich's back. Lips moved to his earlobe, nipping at it once before words moved into soft whispers just loud enough to be heard by the two.

Isn't that right? They're such prudes as they deny their wants, aren't they?

Eliza, on the other hand, is trying her best to not look absolutely horrified by this display, looking down at one of the books in the stack she'd set on the table.]

Oh my God. [Her own voice is barely more than a hiss, cheeks beginning to color a particularly deep shade of red.]

[When he saw her, there was a miniscule moment of relief - maybe she could distract him, get his mind off of this damn curse. Maybe she knew an answer.

Until the paranoia set in of her having heard what his shadow said.

He could feel his skin run hot and cold, going pale.] Eliza -- now isn't the best time --

[...Oh, she's here, isn't she. Roderich's shadow just grinned, humming happily as he felt her shadow embrace him.

Hello, dear... been waiting for you. -- Goodness, your teeth, woman! But I don't have the heart to tell you to be gentle...

The shadow leans up for a soft kiss, stroking her hair affectionately. Roderich wants to tell it to stop, just to leave them alone but the words catch in his throat as he sees his shadow pull hers in closer.

It pauses, though, turning over its shoulder to look at Roderich slyly. Why so upset? Your mother would be so proud...]

...C-Cut it out, Jesus Christ. This isn't... it's not funny anymore...

[His words are weak and lacking any determination, though. He's completely stunned.]

[Relief was certainly not going to be happening while this was going on, Eliza's attention remains on her books, biting her lower lip enough to cause it to bleed just a bit. This whole thing has her on edge and the longer it goes on and the more complicated it gets the more she just wishes it would stop. Or, if it did continue, losing her mind and just breaking the hell down from frustration and exhaustion. She hasn't the willpower to tell them to stop, able to see it well enough from her peripheral.

Her shadow, on the other hand, is happy to get the kiss, making a contented little noise. Slowly she moves to place herself in her shadow companion's lap with herself facing him, a mischievous glint in her eye. How cute, they seem so upset by all of this. And who says we're being funny? A low laugh escapes the shadow, shifting a bit more before leaning up to slowly lick that pesky marmalade from his face. No shame there what-so-ever.

Elizaveta tenses up rather obviously, looking up and glaring daggers at the shadows.] Go away. [She manages in a hiss, not that it's stopping her shadow at all.]

[Oh, that earned a happy sigh from the shadow, closing his eyes to savor the feel of her tongue on his chin, right by his lips, right by that birthmark - you're so sweet, he shudders, before continuing and deepening the kiss.]

E-eww. Ew. What did yours just eat off of -- [He stops himself, realizing that no one else seemed to react to the shadows' presence, and would think they're out of their mind. His shadow runs his fingers through her shadow's hair, moving down, further down, until his spindly fingers are caressing her back, finally stopping to grip at her hips.

Roderich backs away from the table, scooting his chair back slightly. He covers his face, but isn't able to cover his eyes completely.]

I'm so sorry. Oh my God.

[It was... stunning, though, to see her all dolled up like this. He wished to God it were in a different context, something considerably less mortifying.]

[It certainly was mortifying enough to her to keep her from dolling up any time soon to that sort of extent. Shuddering a bit with a feeling of both her skin crawling from disgust and yet a tint of curiosity of if that would work she followed suit. Distance from the table was what she wanted, wanted for this to be all some sort of awful nightmare that she'd wake up from soon enough and not have to think about again.

Though considering how long all of this was going on for, she sincerely doubted that her hope was true. Either way she turned her attention away from the shadows to instead watch Roderich, searching for anything she could find for some sort of reassurance that this wasn't happening and that it was something to be ignored.

When she didn't find that, however, she felt even sicker to her stomach about the whole situation. Good lord, how was she even supposed to react to this?

Her shadow seemed far too concerned with what was going on, considering her arms were wrapping a bit too tightly around his' waist, nails biting into skin through layers of fabric. The more of a show they put on, the better it was in her shadowed opinion.]

[His double never slowed, reacting to each and every touch with contented noises.] I... I don't even know what's going on, I'd run away but -- but someone might find them and think it's... actually us and...

...i-it's just fears, right? Just fears. I mean I respect you -- [He swallows. He wishes he could convince himself of it, but there's a very unsettling sincerity in what their shadows are doing, going deeper than the mockery of his fears that he'd endured earlier.]

I don't know anymore. You're... too close of a friend for me to ever want to ruin...

[Feliks hadn't expected much when he entered the library. He had a ten inch essay to write for History of Magic that he'd put off long enough, especially given that it had been due two days ago. Now seemed as good a time as any to get it done.

Trying to find an entirely empty table to sit at and finish it was a little harder than he was anticipating though. He'd almost considered going back to Gryffindor tower and working on it in the common room--it was loud yes, but at least he didn't have to worry about strangers encroaching on his space-- until he heard two familiar voices.

Sure, sitting with Elizaveta and Roderich probably wasn't conducive to essay writing at all, but it was way better than sitting with anyone else in the library.

Peeking around a row of bookcases, Feliks looked to confirm it before bouncing over. The sight of Elizaveta and Roderich aggressively locking lips however, was not at all what he was anticipating.]

Oh my god!

[His History of Magic book hit the ground with a dull thud.]

[Roderich had been hoping that no one else could see their shadows, that it was just a prank being pulled on the two of them. And since no one else had seemed to react, it seemed like a valid reassurance.

Until he heard Feliks. There was no mistaking that voice, or that inflection, anywhere.

He bolted up into a standing position, frantic.] Feliks. It's not us, I'm -- we're right here, this is -- God I have no idea what's going on. [Breathe, Roderich.] ...I'm assuming by your, ah... shock... that this is not a prank of yours...

[The more intensely Roderich feels mortification, the more the shadow seems to feed off of it. His shadow giggles, biting playfully and unfortunately quite visibly at his lover's lower lip.

Love you, dear. Always will.]

Oh my God they won't stop.

Edited 2012-11-13 05:38 (UTC)