I'm sorry, goddamn! What would you have done differently, then?! Do you even know what it's like, having all these weird feelings and not knowing what to do about them, and everytime it comes up, the person they all revolve around decides to call you an idiot, stupid, moron, tosser, or incompetent? Is there any other one I'm missing?

I dunno if you think I'm some sort of love guru, but I sure ain't.